021 - Video

[epiccombo]

[The video feed turns on, showing one Noah Puckerman, who doesn't look all that different. For one thing, he's really confused and very pissed off, because it took him all of two seconds to realize that he's not in McKinley anymore. That can mean only one thing: he's been dragged back to Wonderland.]

What the hell? I thought I was done with this place for good!

[He looks around him just to be sure that he hasn't wandered off to some random part of Lima. That has happened before, but nope. He's definitely back in the mansion.

And that pisses him off, because things were pretty chill back at McKinley. Okay, things were weird, but whatever, he was used to that. Puck turns back to glare at the camera.

He's starting to remember all too clearly just why he hates this place so much.]

Well, look what we have here. I guess you guys just can't get rid of me that easily.

Comments

[epiccombo]

Oh, you got sick of Glee and Mr. Schue. I guess you guys wanted more solos or something.

And I guess you were a little hot.

[itsahotone]

That sounds about right.

And you know we were smokin'.

[epiccombo]

Totally, but you know, it was weird competing against you guys.

[itsahotone]

We actually competed? Huh.

[epiccombo]

Yeah, and it was weird, like I said. You totally should've come back to the New Directions. Maybe then you wouldn't have had your butts kicked.

[Mean? Maybe. But they did lose...]

[itsahotone]

What?! There is no way--have you heard me and Mercedes? We're the best singers at that school!

[epiccombo]

Well, duh. But you guys decided to go all girl power, and split from the New Directions.

Can you say recipe for disaster?

[itsahotone]

Excuse me? Are you implying that a girl group is a disaster? What the hell, Puckerman?

[epiccombo]

No. I'm just saying, leaving the New Directions was stupid.

[itsahotone]

Sounds like it was Mr Schue's fault.

[epiccombo]

I guess so. Not really gonna argue with you there.

Oh yeah, did I mention the other really big bombshell?

[Actually, he has a lot of bombshells, but only some of them are relevant to Santana.]

[itsahotone]

Of course you didn't; you've been too busy insulting my voice.

[epiccombo]

Whatever. Your voice is hot, okay?

[Eyeroll.]

Anyway, I got to see Beth, and she's totally into me.

[Okay, so maybe it's not earth-shattering, but to him, it is.]

[itsahotone]

[Santana waits for a second, expecting a little more from that.

...Nothing? Fine.]

Okay... Congrats on snagging yet another old rich lady?

[epiccombo]

Seriously?

I still think cougars are hot, but I'm talking about my kid.

[itsahotone]

Oooooh.

[That does seem like more of a so-called bombshell.]

Oh right, you said Rachel's mom was around, right?

[epiccombo]

Yeah, she is. Quinn had this crazy idea to try and get Beth back, and she was gonna do it by planting whacked out books and hot sauce and calling Child Protective Services. But I kinda think Beth and Shelby should be together.

[He pauses.]

I kinda like Shelby.

[itsahotone]

Hot sauce? Never mind, clearly Q's gone insane. The pink hair must have been the first sign.

[She squints at Puck.]

...Like like?

[epiccombo]

Yeah, uh, just a little. I mean, she even planted books about baby sacrifice.

[He grins a bit.]

Yeah, and it's like, totally legal 'cause I'm eighteen.

[itsahotone]

[Santana snickers a little at the extra tidbit on Quinn, because come on. That's kinda priceless.]

Seriously? You actually wanna get with Rachel's mom. Does any of this sound like a good idea?

[Ah, judging Puck for his choices. Just like old times!]

[epiccombo]

Duh. She's hot, I'm hot. It's perfect.

Plus, Beth needs a dad.

[He shrugs. It makes total sense to him.]

[itsahotone]

[...]

And crazy Quinn's just a perfect little cheerleader for this?

[epiccombo]

Who said anything about Quinn? I'm talking about Rachel's mom.

[itsahotone]

[EYEROLL]

Oh my god, and you don't care at all what Quinn thinks about your playing house with Mother Hobbit and the spawn Quinn birthed?

[epiccombo]

Oh. Whatever. It's not really about Quinn anymore, you know. It's about Beth.