[accidental video/action] Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?

[hamburellakind]

[The video starts abruptly, showcasing John's back as he walks-- something that's a little rare for him, what with the god tier flying and all --down the hall. His movements are slow and his steps are small, almost like he's not all that convinced that he wants to move forward in the first place. His hands fidget around, picking at his pants before floating up to grip the opposite elbow. The gesture seems to be his feeble attempt to keep himself from trembling anymore than he is already.

A sharp, high pitched noise tears from John's throat, and the feed ends.]

Comments

[forgottenmother]

[She nuzzles his head, gently encouraging to pour out his heart and soul if he needs to.]

[hamburellakind]

[So, he does.]

I'm really really dumb. And stupid. And Dave probably doesn't even like me. And I think my dad is dead. And maybe Rose too, since she left and hasn't come back. And it's probably my fault because I wanted to play the game! So I'm just all around terrible in every single possible way.

[forgottenmother]

[Ammy licks his neck gently. She gives him a kindly, loving look, and there's a hint of sympathetic sadness. She hates it when her kids hurt like this, the kind of hurts that blaming oneself leaves behind, even if it's not him/her at fault. The wolf can't do anything about it, except to be a pillar of support. Ammy encourages him to say more if he wants to, if there's still more. She won't judge, will never judge.]

[hamburellakind]

[John holds on to her, fingers tangling in her fur as he sniffles and sobs. He doesn't know what it is exactly that is making him so sad, but being a dumbass loser is as good a reason as any.]

I'm th-the worst...

[forgottenmother]

[Ammy gives him a look that quite plainly says that she doesn't believe that in the slightest. There are worse things out there, and John isn't one of them in her honest opinion.]

[hamburellakind]

[John wails in despair.]

You're a dog-god! You love everybody!

[forgottenmother]

[She pulls a scroll and ink out of her hammerspace (canon), and draws. Ammy also writes using her comm device.]

Yes, that's a fair point. But you don't deceive and kill, like Ninetails did. [She nods at the picture.] You haven't done a thing that would make you the worst person in the world. You're kind and honest, qualities that make you a good person.

[hamburellakind]

Then why do I feel so bad?

[John's insides feel empty and full of ice all at once.]

[forgottenmother]

I can't claim to be an expert on matters of the heart, John. I don't believe anyone can. But I'll do what I can to ease your pain.

[hamburellakind]

[John nods and nuzzles into Ammy's fur for a moment, trying to get control of his breathing back.]

I r-really hope this isn't just puberty or something.

[forgottenmother]

[She gives him an amused look in response.]

[hamburellakind]

Is that a no?

[Do dog-gods have puberty?

Sniffle.]

[forgottenmother]

[She "shrugs."]

I wouldn't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised.

[hamburellakind]

Yeah...

[John's chest feels tight. He doesn't know if he feels any better, but he's not crying for the moment.]

[forgottenmother]

...

[Slurps his cheeks to clean the tears.]

[hamburellakind]

Why does this place keep making me so sad?

[forgottenmother]

[Ammy shakes her head.]

I don't know, but you have friends here who will help you through it, if you allow us.

[hamburellakind]

[John nods, petting Ammy's fur absently.]

Maybe this is an event thing.

[forgottenmother]

[She nods in agreement while obviously enjoying the pets.]

[hamburellakind]

[John keeps up the petting since it's clearly a good thing.]

Thanks, Ammy.

[forgottenmother]

[The wolf licks his face and wags her tail.]