Mark II [Action/Video]

[arrogantalloy]

[Tony wakes up at his desk, which no matter where he is is normal for him. He stretches  and heads to the wardrobe, where he pulls out a large coffee mug out and he clings to it as he heads to his bedroom to change into some clean clothes. He stops in the door way when he sees a child. No more than a year old, sitting in the middle of the bed.

He stares at it.

The baby stares back.]

JARVIS?

Sir?

That's a baby.

As always, sir. You are incredibly on top of things.

Why is it here?

My sensors didn't detect anyone coming in and leaving him there, sir. He seems to have just materialised.

In a weird pocket dimension, with wish fulfilment closets, and freaky mirrors. Then all of a sudden baby. You know, if I didn't know that horses could talk here. This would be disturbing.

It is still cause for concern.

Then you can concern yourself. Tell me if it cries or does something that it shouldn't be doing.

[Tony leaves the room and pulls the communicator out of his pocket, and turns it on to broadcast.]

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a baby here. Because I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be up for a paternity suit. Also, what do I do with it?

Comments

[paper_knight]

[Fatherhood pointers GO.]

You feed it, you clean up after it, you keep it engaged and happy and out of trouble. Full time.

[Mark has already gone and produced a bottle of formula from the closet for his weird mansionbaby.]

And if it goes and...sprouts fangs, or something equally in line with Wonderland's sense of humor, I'm sure everyone else would appreciate the warning.

[arrogantalloy]

[Tony looks back into the bedroom, where the miniature him is still watching him looking confused]

This.. Place wouldn't have nannies would it?

And really the kid does anything strange I'm locking it in a room and hoping for the best.

[paper_knight]

I'm afraid not. I'd say ask another resident, but I'm willing to bet everyone will be occupied.

[arrogantalloy]

You're probably right.

[He stares at his baby self for a long moment]

What do babies eat?

[paper_knight]

Milk or formula, baby food if yours is old enough.

Do you want a crash course? I can meet you in the kitchen.

/bb!Liet for now

[cautious_knight]

[A brown haired toddler stares back at him, scrunitizing the weird adult, and then starts to poke at the screen. That sounds like someone who really shouldn't drag around a baby.]

Did your wife die?

Re: /bb!Liet for now

[arrogantalloy]

What? Wait? No, I don't have a wife. No, so there's no one dead. Where's your uh... Adult?

[notchristian]

There was a man here who looked like we are related but he seems to be friends with Poland. He left because he seemed to worry about him and someone else.

...But how do you have a child if you don't have a wife?

[arrogantalloy]

Friends with Poland, huh? Interesting.

He's not mine, he's...

[Looks at the baby for a second before returning to the baby talking to him]

...Just some baby.

video;

[redhourglass]

It had to happen at some point, Stark.

[She's just going to make sure that her toddler is reasonably out of sight, for now.]

Re: video;

[arrogantalloy]

You know, you hurt me. JARVIS said there hasn't been anyone in here to leave the baby here. So this is obviously some kind of here thing. I jut want to know why they gave it to me.

I mean really? Hulk's probably better with kids.

video;

[redhourglass]

Him.

[You can't call a baby an it. It's too much, even for her.]

Maybe this place wants to teach you a long overdue lesson.

Re: video;

[arrogantalloy]

Him? What? Him who?

You worked at Stark Industries how long? Really, 'Natalie' if you think this place is being smart by sending me a baby, then well... We have to re-evaluate this places I.Q.

video;

[doesntmiss]

Pretty sure it's everyone, not just you. And you should probably look after him. Y'know, feeding, changing diapers, making sure he doesn't get hurt, basic things like that.

Re: video;

[arrogantalloy]

Basic things like that. How often do you think I've even been near kids that can feed themselves let alone toddlers? I'm not Cap, I've never had to kiss babies for propaganda.

video;

[doesntmiss]

Hence why I'm telling you they're basic. It's pretty common sense, but I guess that's not your line of work.

video;

[arrogantalloy]

I'm going to ignore the suggestion that common sense isn't something I normally run with.

Besides, if it's so common sense, how about you come over and help me with him.

[video forever]

[usskickass]

It's just you as a baby, like everyone else's.

[She is not unaware of how odd it is that she can say that so casually.]

[video forever]

[arrogantalloy]

Me as a baby?

[walks back into the bedroom and looks at the kid]

Are you sure?

[usskickass]

Yeah. Doesn't he look like you?

[arrogantalloy]

He's short, and doesn't have my sense of style.

[He shrugs vaguely]

It's a baby with brown hair and brown eyes. That's not exactly something rare and unusual about it.

[worldsaway]

[Thor isn't even going to try not to laugh. Even the baby is laughing, Tony, even the baby.]

[arrogantalloy]

No, yeah I get it. My confusion and distress is funny, to you. That's fine, really.

[Tony rolls his eyes]

Some superhero, you are. I barely deal with adults, I don't know what to do about him.

[worldsaway]

You do not seem distressed, Stark. And if you are, it is no more than I or any other who woke up to find a smaller...louder version of themselves.

Children are far smipler than adults! If they are crying, they want food! Or a change of dress, perhaps.

[arrogantalloy]

I'll have you know I caused no end of trouble for my nannies. And I never cried, which is what really upset them. So this kid is just as bad as me.

And if these are our 'smaller selves' better to wake up with me than you, I guess....Or Natasha's....