entranceway | 002 | text/action | (mostly) open post

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002 | text/action | (mostly) open post | event catch all

[Action for Tony Stark]
When morning comes the first day, Pepper decides to sleep in. She has no reason to rush out of bed, no urgent work that needs to be attended to. Particular not with the press of a familiar warmth against her back. She smiles to herself, still too deep in that sleepy haze to realize just what she's doing when she turns in bed to face him. She simply wants to cuddle closer, enjoy his embrace a little more.

Of course, that's easier said than done when the smoke fades and she has wings instead of arms.]

[Action Option 1!]
[After the chaotic mess that's her morning on Friday, Pepper heads outside to take solace in the sun. Not that it's entirely easy to recognize her among the flock of swans that seem to follow her around. But at the moment, Pepper is fine with that, content to swim in the fountain or fly over the gardens as she sorts out her thoughts. The tricky things about swans is that they can be aggressive when they see cause to be, so it might be best to approach with caution. Pepper isn't exactly in the best of moods.]

[Action Option 2!]
[Eventually Pepper does make her way back inside (quite possibly with a swan or two serving as escorts). She even transforms back into her human form and manages to get a set of clothing--though since she has no control over when this happens, there may be attempts at sneaking around to avoid possible awkward encounters. Ultimately she's going to be doing her best not to be thinking about any particular woes she may be having in her love life, so she can be found in any number of places inside. The pool or the roof are her favorite spots though: high places and water to swim in.]

[Anonymous Text]
[No, it isn't Pepper's typical avenue of confronting a problem. She'd much rather be direct when it comes to solving things. But with Tony once again hiding in the lab, she doesn't have too many options. Her circumstances are tricky ones, particularly since she knows she'd earn several unwanted I told you so's if the details got out in full. Her relationship with an outsider isn't at all secret, and also largely not approved of. Things have turned out badly enough without the naysayers in the family chiming in.

So, an anonymous text it is.]

Is there a time when you should give up fighting for something, even when it's what you thought you really wanted? Or if you still do, but it just feels like it's impossible to have?

[OOC: Event catch all for Pepper Liddell, possessed by the Swan. Please feel free to encounter her anywhere or contact her however you wish; I'm totally open for anything, planned or not, new cr or old. Either form is also fine; if you could just give me an idea of when/where/what she should be, that'd be great!

OH, also: the swans won't attack anyone outright. The worse they'll do is hiss unless someone wants an angry flock to deal with ~~or is named Tony Stark~~. :)]

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It isn't real? [Her bill parts in what might be the humanesque expression she can manage best: disbelief and exasperation over something Tony's said. But this goes beyond his typical lack of thought. He's claiming that what she's known her entire life, every struggle and sacrifice hasn't been real. She doesn't want to hear it, the nonsensical ramblings, especially not over something like this.]

I'm not what, Tony? Not cursed?! [But the evidence is right there in front of him, and her wings flare out in frustration.] How can you say that? What happened before is completely different. [Certainly nothing like the affliction she's known her entire life, and it's cutting that he even tries to compare them.

Then worse, so much worse, he tries to say the existence of others like her is somehow evidence that he's right.] Of course there are others like me. You know my family is here. [Cousins, siblings, the people who like Pepper share the curse of the possession. Of everything he's said, he's only right about the last. It isn't funny, isn't even close, and she doesn't understand where any of this could be coming from.]

Yeah, but-

[Both hands come up, and then drop to his lap. Of course. Of course this isn't going to go remotely like it should. Of course things can't be sane and rational and make sense. Of course.]

I figure there's more, yeah. But I mean more like me. Who know this is just... [Fake. Because it is, as real as it is, because he's not denying the fact that she's literally a swan. It's a little hard to, at the moment. But it's also entirely frustrating, because he knows none of this is the way things are supposed to be.

And there are so many gaping holes in this story that Wonderland's fed her that he doesn't know where to start pointing them out, or if he should.

And this is just entirely too much weird and wacky to have to deal with after just waking up. It is. Whatever's gone down, it's good. There's literally nowhere he can go to make this not get worse.]

All I'm saying is that this place...Runs on a schedule, and it's about time for another one. That's it. That's all I'm getting at.

Then maybe you're the ones who are being affected by whatever you think is going on. [Because Pepper is every bit as certain of her reality as Tony seems to be of his. She has memories of growing up among the Liddells, of entering the business world to gain experience for handling the family finances. Of the difficulties of hiding her curse outside of her family, and of growing so fond of Tony she dared to defy their will for him.

She can remember that moment when he decided it didn't matter; that he loved her more than he hated or feared what she became.

Now none of that seems to exist for him. He's insistent that she's the one confused, that her world and her life is the lie. She knows it can't be easy to think that way, but being pushed back to a place of doubt she hasn't had to experience in years isn't any more pleasant.]

Whichever one of us is right--[and clearly, that's a point they aren't going to agree on]--we still have to deal with this. This is what I am.

Yeah, no, you're right. We...Just have to deal with it. [Acquiescence so fast, especially from Tony, is always a dead giveaway he's going to go right ahead and do what he wants or thinks is right, and even now he knows she knows that.

But what else can he do at the moment? She's convinced it's him, he's convinced it's her (well, more is very aware it's her memories being tampered with, not his own), and there's honestly no middle ground there.]

No, you're right. I mean, it's an event, right. Everything will just...Go back to the way it was before in a few days. [He hopes. Everyone's certainly reassured him that's the case here, that it never really lasts longer than a week.] We'll get through it. I mean, c'mon, Pepper, we've been through worse.

[Him almost dying, for one. Him actually dying here, though that's...Still processing.

He stands, giving ever pretense as...It just being another normal day in Wonderland. It's not true, of course. The minute he can get down to the lab he's going to get plucking at. Pun not intended.]

I'm gonna get dressed, go get some coffee. You want anything? [Just a normal day, yep, like she's not a swan.]

Edited 2014-06-08 03:10 (UTC)

[Of course she knows. He's pulling himself away from the situation in every sense now, not only avoiding looking at her or touching her but now trying to end the conversation entirely simply by giving in. It's far too easy, and as he goes on, stands up and moves away from the bed, she has to wonder if he's trying to reassure her or himself with the words.]

No. I don't need anything. [Nothing he can give. Pepper already knows where he'll go to, where he'll run for comfort and control. Maybe more than anything else that's what hurts most: that he doesn't come to her for reassurance, and instead looks at her like she's a freak. It's every fear that's been nurtured in her since she had been born, and she lowers her head to the bed, unsure how to make him stop.]

[If it was about comfort or reassurance, true enough, he tends to keep things to himself until he just can't anymore. She knows that. But it's not. At least not this time. It's not about being weirded out she's a bird or whatever. He's not - at least not in the way she's thinking. Or Wonderland's making her think. Or...He doesn't even know anymore. A lot has happened, just in the span of a week, including his getting up close and personal with the idea of mortality, and the only way he knows how to get a little control over everything is to work. If he works, he can figure it out. If he can figure it out, he can make it stop.

But he won't deny it's a lot harder to actually talk to her like this than it normally is. But it's because he knows - is absolutely sure, without a single doubt - that it's Wonderland screwing with them. Again. So he pulls a clean shirt over his head perhaps a bit more forcefully than is absolutely needed, reaching up to achieve some semblance of order with his hair.]

Pepper. [Really, when he finds out who's actually behind all of this? The Queens or whatever? And he can actually make it face to face? It's not going to be pretty, because this isn't fair. And not even in the life isn't fair way. This is, really, just unnecessarily stupid and cruel, and screwing with him, yeah, sure, he can handle that, but screwing with the people he cares about is that big red button.]

Look, I'll go get coffee, and then we can figure this out. I just need a jump start. That's all.

[Part of her wants to ask how much caffeine he really can need, considering his morning started with an apparently inexplicable swan in his bed. But that's her temper coming to the fore, and Pepper knows it won't help either of them to turn snippy.]

Alright. [And if it's a test in a way, well, Pepper only feels a little guilty over it. But she needs to know if Tony will keep to his word, if he'll come back as promised or run away to his lab because he truly can't handle it. She knows she'll wait for him, even after she's transformed back, even if it leads to the heartbreaking reality that he's chosen to abandon her. But what does it say that she thinks it's a possibility? Does it speak of their relationship, or her own fears, particularly now that they're surrounded by her family and their harsh judgments?

She waits for him to go, then flutters off the bed. She can't fly to the closet; there isn't quite enough room for it, even in the substantial space they live in. And it's just as well, for by the time she has to figure out the best way to turn the knob with her beak, a second cloud of smoke covers her as her body once more shifts forms. It's a simple matter to get dressed then, and when Tony does come back, he'll find her not in business attire but a simple white sundress, loose and flowing on her frame.]

[What is he supposed to say? That he needs a minute to get his shit together? Because, yeah, that's sure to go over really well, given the circumstances, and given that he's already tried to impress upon her that this isn't real. It's not, none of it, from whatever fake memories she's been given down to the swan thing. Oh, it's real, sure, but it's...Not the way things are supposed to be.

But it's easier to take a minute away, collect his thoughts from the four corners of the earth they've decided to stray to, do exactly as he said he would and get some coffee, and then hesitate about going back. But only for a moment. As much as he'd love to confirm there are at least some people he knows not being change by this event, first thing first. Which is why he makes his way back to their room from one of the tea rooms.

And when he slips back inside, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief that he'll at least be able to read her face.]

See? [He holds up the coffee cup a second, a little awkwardly.] Just coffee.

Yeah. [She can see the cup, at least. Silently she can't help but wonder if there hasn't been something stronger added to the coffee, but Pepper doesn't want to question too much. Not when he's kept true to his word and actually come back so they can talk, rather than absconding to his lab like he so often does. Instead she opts to take this for the good sign she genuinely believes it is, with the issue of purity tabled.

She's perched on the edge of the bed, plenty of space near her should he wish to be closer, though Pepper can't guess if he will with how this morning has gone so far. Instead she smiles faintly, not quite happily even if she's still so glad to see him.] So you really don't remember anything?

[There's a saying about gift horses and looking too closely, after all. Not that he'd admit anything one way or the other (though, actually, there's nothing to admit - for the moment). But he did come back, and there are a lot of reasons for that; some he would admit to, if pushed, like not liking the idea of leaving Pepper alone so closely behind his own miraculous resurrection and her memories compromised, especially since he can't remember anything beyond stepping into the kitchen for a sandwich. The others - the reasons he won't bring up - are a little less-defined, in the sense that there's not a lot of comfort to be found in the lab here. It's his lab, the lab he'd build if he didn't have to scale back what he really wants to do with it, but at the same time, he can look around and tell it's not home. Just looking out through the glass is enough to remind him of that.

And he doesn't have his vast resources to pull from here, with no recourse beyond a library that's actually a library, and a place known for playing host to the resident Asgardian demi-god. He's definitely not up to another verbal scuffle right now, not with everything going on.

But he comes over and settles on the bed, putting just a bit of distance between them because, after all, she'd apparently hugged him and poofed. And he has no idea how this is supposed to work (even if she apparently thinks he should).]

No, I don't. [Because there's nothing there for him to remember.] I'm pretty sure that this is a big enough thing I wouldn't just forget it. [Even if, it seems, it's entirely possible for Wonderland to do that; to screw with memories to that extent. But he's pretty sure he's right in this.]

[Pepper has always been of a practical nature. That's why, when she thinks about it, she understands the distance Tony keeps between them. All he knows is that a form of contact triggered her earlier transformation, and he's trying to avoid it. It's simple logic, neat and easy.

But only when she thinks about it. Emotions move quicker than thoughts, spark unbidden, and that gap is enough to make her chest tighten. They've been intimate in so many ways, from small touches to making love. He should know all the ways he can reach across that gap, be able to choose to sit just behind her, or to rest his head in her lap.

Instead there's the distance, one he doesn't even reach across with his hand. And worse, worse, he's still insisting that it isn't real. Pepper stares at him, hurt and frustrated, because her memories are as sure as he thinks his are.]

That's more possible than you might think. [The family can make people forget, they have in the past. But why do so now, when things have been working so well for Pepper and Tony? Why leave them in bed together, only to wake up to that disaster.

Why make her have to fight for something they never wanted in the first place?]

I know what I am, Tony. That isn't going to suddenly change.

[There's the sudden urge to point out what's happening now, and what happened last time, and how this certainly isn't going to be the end to whatever Wonderland pulls, and he's talked about this, to her, to Bruce, to anyone that he knows and trusts that will let him babble on theoretical usage of the memories it takes and what the real purpose of foisting other people's memories on them actually means. He's done that, so many times, it feels like now, to the point where he feels like she should know his theories on things as well as he does.

And the likelihood is, she does.

And even with that knowledge, it's proving to be very hard to be bluntly honest about this, and tact is not, and never has been, his strong point. Which is why he meets that look as long as he can, before dropping his gaze to coffee he's cradling in both hands.]

Yeah, I know what you are, too. And whatever Wonderland's put in your head, that's not it. [Whoever said honesty is the best policy needs to be taken out back and given and old-school beat down. Because clearly it's a lie.] There is no curse, Pepper. Not really. Someone here has this memory, okay, that's how these things work.

[Of course she knows his thoughts on those things; she hasn't forgotten about the events or even how they work. But Pepper is just as certain of her own notions as Tony is of his. Her memories are real, from childhood transformations and family warnings, to the moment when she decided to deny everything she'd ever been taught for the man beside her now.

The man who can't seem to look at her for more than a few seconds at a time anymore.

Tony continues to insist that she's been tampered with somehow, and Pepper sighs as she stands up.] So everything I've ever known is wrong? Or is that just what you want to be true? [Because that would be easier for him, wouldn't it? He hates what she turns into; Pepper can already tell, and it tears at her from within.] You have to face this, Tony. It is real, and I am cursed.

[For a few days or her entire life, it's still true right now. She crosses her arms in front of her, folding them at her waist.] You've barely even looked at me since I turned back.

[And...That is actually how he did not, in fact, want this to go.

He flounders for a moment, because that's not true. He gets the memories are probably very real, he remembers the last event and how for him it had almost ended in a very bad way. He gets the events have a pull, and there's not a lot that can be done once it's in full swing, but at the same time, why would he lie?

Which is why he sets the coffee cup at his feet, before holding up his hands.] Okay, hold up, that? Is not true. I'm looking at you right now, aren't I? And I get it, right now this is real, and believe me, I'm not happy about this place screwing with your head. I mean, what can I do? I can't stop it. Yet, anyway. Until I get it figured out, I know we have to just deal with it, but I'm not going to lie to you.

[He gets to his own feet then, unable to just sit still.]

I'm not gonna pretend it's always been this way, because it hasn't. This isn't a curse. Or not a real one. It's not permanent, whatever one it happens to decide it is. It's somebody's event. This is somebody's memory, but it's not yours. You think you'd believe me by now.

[Her mouth falls open as she stares at Tony in shock, half unable to believe what she's just heard. Not only does he absolutely refuse to think of what happens if he's wrong, but now Tony's accused her of simply not believing him, as if she's the one who should immediately dismiss her memories, the truth she's so sure of, just because he's said so.]

Oh, so I should believe you, but there's absolutely no reason for you to believe me? [To consider that her concerns might go deeper than whether or not this is temporary, or expect it to simply go away in a few days. Her gape shifts into a glare as he stalks around the room, so wrapped up in needing to be right that he's not considering anything else.] I've given up a lot for you, Tony. Maybe you can't remember it, or you don't think it's real, but I do.

[And having him refuse to even think about that feels like he's slapped her in the face.]

Didn't I say I believed that you believe it? Because I do. I know it's real to you. But it doesn't change the fact that it's not. [Which is his entire point. He gets it. It's not that he isn't thinking about it, because he is. Because she's certain, he's certain, no one's going to win here. And he halfway wonders if Wonderland doesn't get off of the strife.]

It doesn't change the fact that one of us is wrong. [And he doesn't believe it's him. He really, honestly, does not believe it.

He pauses, having made his way back to the bed, and looks around the room a moment, as though he'll find the magic phrase somewhere on the walls. He doesn't need to be right. What he needs is for Wonderland to not, because this certainly isn't helping anything.

Finally, he just reaches up to rub his face, because there is literally nowhere to go with this. No direction points to the ending where they stop fighting over something stupid like a Wonderland event. Honestly, he's not sure, if it's going to be something this ridiculous each and every time (because he's not forgetting the last one, either), how he's going to handle it. Especially now that he's had more than a brush with death.

He'll crack, that's what.]

Alright, I don't know what to tell you. All I have is the truth, and that, apparently, is completely the wrong way to go with this.

[Except he doesn't. He can't, not when he insists on tacking on his belief that she's wrong, that her life is a lie every time. No, no one's going to win, but Pepper can see a way to make this better, if he'll treat this as something other than an inconvenience that will be over in a few days. He says it's not about him being right, but he keeps harping on that very thing, as if she might suddenly decide to abandon what her mind and heart tells her is real.]

I don't want you to lie to me. [Far be it from Pepper to let him get that notion in his head. She sighs, not sure of what she wants him to say either. But that isn't true, is it? She wants him to say that if she's right, if her truth turns out to be the way of the world, that he's still going to love her. That he won't stare at her like that every morning, or move awkwardly about until her feathers fade into smoke.

She wants to hear that, desperately. But if it only comes from him as an echo, does it have any meaning?]

I'm going out. [To walk around, to swim, to think. She doesn't know how to handle this any better than he does, and being locked in this room suddenly feels suffocating to her. Pepper knows how wrong it is, especially after she worried about him throwing himself into his work in favor of turning to her. But she can't see how to keep this from getting worse. Maybe they do both just need to breathe after all, and Pepper heads towards the door.]

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002 | text/action | (mostly) open post | event catch all

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