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[The video comes on to someone noisily eating. They're taking ramen noodle packets and ripping open the flavor packs, and pouring the stuff into their mouth. Honestly who would do this.]

Man am I glad Pearl isn't here. I can just hear her right now. [Amethyst transforms into a thin, tall, pointy woman and her voice turns to that high, mocking voice. You know the one. Everyone does it.] "Don't eat mysterious food from strange Gem constructs, Amethyst! You can't know what it's made from! I know everything!" [She takes a huge, ungraceful bite from the dry block of ramen noodles before transforming back.]

Whaaaatever. The food's good. I don't care if some closet spit it out. Probably trying to make me stay forever or something. This is a pretty intense simulation this gem's got going. The room even looks like my old room. Sorta. I kinda have to fill it with stuff still. It looks all empty.

Anyway, since someone might give me a hard time if I take too long and this place is big, if anyone sees a gem that looks like it's powering this place, go ahead and tell me on one of these phones. I mean, I could just look through every room myself, but I really don't want to. And if a bunch of humans are all hanging out here doing nothing anyway, I figure it won't be much more dangerous if you guys help out.

Uh, if you run into a room and it's some kind of death maze or something, though, run away.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What the...

[How can he not stare at that. She literally just burped up bubbles from eating laundry detergent.]

Are...a-are you, um. Not. Human?

[Is that insensitive? Can you really just ask people if they're human or not?]

What, did the purple skin not clue you off or something? Nope, not human one bit! I'm a gem, guy.

[She pulls her shirt down a little to show off the amethyst in her chest.]

See?

Well, there's a green woman here? But I'm pretty sure she's just a woman who's green - human, I mean. I-I didn't want to just go around assuming.

[It seems kind of rude? Maybe even a little racist? Anything he's encountered that wasn't human has been really obviously not human, so assuming it on skin color alone seems pretty bad. ...That gem in her chest sure is a thing though.]

I didn't realize gemstones could be...I-I dunno. Alive and sentient?

[He does sound a little impressed though. Maybe he should be more concerned, but he's seen a lot of weird things and it would explain the inability to die from ingesting cleaning products.]

A green woman? You're sure she's not a gem? Is her name Emerald or Jade or something?

[He sounds impressed with her, so she looks pretty proud about it.]

Normal gemstones you find in mines and stuff aren't, but we are. My gem is like my life force. My body's a part of it, but the gem's the bread and butter. [Pearl could explain better, but you gotta give Amethyst credit for trying.]

I'm not squishy like humans are. Well-- I mean I'm squishy, but I bounce back. And I can eat whatever without getting sick.

I'm pretty sure? Her name's Elphaba.

[It's not the most normal name he's ever heard, but it doesn't really sound like a gemstone to him.

The entire concept of a gem as a life form is entirely foreign to him, but really fascinating. It's not like anything he's ever heard of, but the explanation makes enough sense to him. Ever since he first wound up in the Unknown, he's taken a lot of things at face value, even if he can't logically explain them himself. Somewhere in the back of his head he wonders if his response to learning this should be something more than "oh, okay" but he can't seem to make the skepticism happen.]

I guess that makes sense...I mean, regular gems are pretty durable so even if it's not the same thing it still sounds sort of right.

Alphabet? [Okay, so not a gem. So there are people with magic technicolor skin who aren't like her. That's new to her, but she can roll with it.]

Yeah, dude! We're like rocks. [Wait, it sounds a bit lame to put it like that.] Uh, cool rocks that are way tough and can summon weapons and stuff!

[She reaches into her gem that has begun to glow and pulls out a whip, simple black but adorned with purple gemstones. She snaps it.]

See? Totally cool, right?

[Maybe he should be defending Elphaba's name a bit more, but he's very distracted by the weapon Amethyst just pulled out of her chest gem. He's never seen anything like that before, nothing like real magic.

He's never heard of rocks that could do that and she looks a lot more like a person than a rock, but you know what? He's not gonna question it. ...but he is going to stare a lot.]

That's...wow! Y-Yeah, really cool! Being a gem gives you super powers?

[She looks at her nails casually with a smirk, a day in the life and all that. She's acting cool but really, she's soaking up the praise and it is definitely going to her head.]

Yeah, guy. That's just how we were made. We can do all sorts of stuff.

Really? ...What else can you do then?

[She definitely has his attention now. He's never known anyone who actually had magic powers before, and he's sort of fascinated.]

I can change shape into whatever I want. And I'm really tough, it takes a lot to actually hurt me. Oh, right, and I can fuse with other gems! We dance and then come together and get bigger and better!

You...dance to do that? [That's definitely not what he would have expected.] That's kind of neat. A-All of this is amazing actually! I've never met someone with superpowers before.

[There's Beatrice, but she got cursed so that doesn't really count. That's not really a power. Then there was Fred the talking horse, but that doesn't really count either. He's a horse; he can do what he wants.]

Yeah, every gem's got the same powers, basically. Different weapons, but otherwise it's pretty much the same. So it's pretty normal for me. No radioactive waste spill that made me special or anything like that.

Well, that's...good, I guess? A radioactive waste spill would probably be super bad anyway.

Unless it gives you all the powers of a puma or something! Or the ability to fly! Or walk through walls.

I'm...pretty sure it would still be mostly a bad thing, actually.

[He's no fun.]

You're no fun! Don't you watch superhero movies or anything? That's how the regular ol' human gets their powers!

Does that actually happen to people? I thought it was just a movie thing...

[She's the superhero so she'd probably know, right?]

Totally. Happens all the time. You should try it out sometime! [Pearl isn't here to tell her what a horrible idea this is, trying to goad a human into soaking himself in radioactive waste. Who let Amethyst out of the house.]

Uh...I'll pass, thanks.

[Wirt has no faith and also no sense of adventure whatsoever.]

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