entranceway | [002 ♛ Video]

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[002 ♛ Video]

[Until now, she had only seen the benign side of Wonderland, the quiet before the chaos. In a sudden flick, the emotions that she had been freed from rush back into her psyche with the full force of broken dam. Sobbing, red from tears, she has no choice to reflect on her past actions and feel nothing but remorse.

It was why she had to address those that knew her, those that she had wronged. For anyone else, they could at least learn from her example. Some good had to come from her existence.]

I'm so sorry. Dean, Sam, Jon, Mary, Bobby, Bela, and Crowley. I have done horrible things to you and I can't begin to express how terrible I feel. I'm sorry.

I've been a demon, but I made myself into a monster.

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[ Ever since he learned that he can do it, Dean has had his emotions permanently on the 'off' setting. It's a great freaking sensation to not hurt, and with soul ache hopping out at him around every corner of this place, it was definitely the right decision. At least he can breathe now.

It's a surprise to see Lilith weeping on the network like that, but the rage he would have otherwise felt isn't there. Instead it just doesn't make sense.]

Really? All that crap you pulled and you say you're sorry through a glorified text message? How about putting some effort into it. Saying it in person, at least. At least pretend you mean it.

I do mean it, but I haven't lost all of my sense. I know that if I tried to approach you both, you would attack me.

My actions against you both were publicly known, I might as well make my apologies public.

You're kidding, right?

[ Sam, like his brother, has his emotions switched off. It's better, really, though not exactly... good. As such, the younger Winchester scoffs, looking less than amused as he peers at the demon over the video feed. ]

Don't get all sappy on us, Lilith. We're not buying it.

I genuinely mean it.

[She'll even say it with evident tears in her eyes.]

My actions against you, Sam, were the worst. I made you into something unnatural all to suit my ends. I planned with Azazeal the course of actions that would lead to Lucifer's freedom, which meant two people you loved died.

I'm sorry. I just want this pain to go away. It hurts so much in my chest!

Okay, what're you playing at? Nobody would ever fall for the 'repentant demon' act.

[ Wait, have they fallen for that before with anyone else? He can't remember, in this moment, but... also, can't bring himself to care. ]

Yeah. You and your gang ruined my whole life. Apologizing for it for whatever reason doesn't get me jack. It's too late.

You believe Crowley, enough apparently to work beside him. He asked me to behave and not cause trouble. It's just now...I actually understand what he meant and want to atone.

I'm sorry, Sam. Even if you don't believe it or accept it, it doesn't change my sincerity.

[ ... This is weird. He doesn't have the emotions to really want to figure it out, though, but it's still interesting. As such, the younger Winchester stares blankly at the demon, thinking it'd probably be less of a gamble to just kill her, but-- ]

I'll humor you. Why now? Is it because you're all jacked up on whatever Wonderland put in the water supply?

[Yes. It clearly was that, but optimism in her refused to believe it was anything other than her own sincerity. It was such a strong feeling that she couldn't relinquish it to magic.]

Because it's time, long overdue.

Can I get it in writing, or a recording, so I can show you later? You'll be pissed that you said all this. You realize that, right?

[ But it'll be hilarious to remind her of it. ]

I'm pretty sure that your memory should suffice.

Yeah. Right. 'Cause you wouldn't just deny that you said all this when it wears off.

How do you know it will?

Because it always does. That's how Wonderland works.

[ He really hopes so, anyway, because she's pretty unnerving when she has so many... feelings. ]

I guess we'll see then.

[She didn't want it to go away or return to how she felt before. If it did though, she hoped that she would at least taking something away from this.]

Has it effected you?

'Course. It usually affects everyone.

[ Though, he's done the opposite of Lilith. ]

I'm surprised you didn't do it this way. Turn the emotions off. Makes things easier for a little while.

That is how I've spent my entire existence as a demon.

I suppose Wonderland wanted to give me insight into the pain I've caused others.

Nah, demons still have emotions, but it's all the bad ones. Rage, envy, lust, that kind of thing. This is different. It's just... nothing.

[ shrug ]

Yeah, well, you've caused a hell of a lot of pain, Lilith. If this is some kind of lesson for you, then I hope you learn it.

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[002 ♛ Video]

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