[VIDEO] speaking as a guy who's really got it going on...

[slapfight]

 [HERE'S PERIDOT, looking like a kid in a candy store at this point, she's got her face pressed to her omnitool for a brief moment before she adjusts the screen enough so that it's not a close-up of her pores- if she had pores- and shows more of her head, and, more importantly, the hustle and bustle of the strip behind her.]

Wonderland Log #3. 

We're in the middle of a new event, one that seems to be rather... recreational in nature. At first I was apprehensive. Wonderland rarely puts us in events that are meant strictly for our own enjoyment, but after careful analysis, it does appear to be exactly what it is- a, as Earth ones say, vacation. 

[her voice rises in excitement] And since my defection, I have never been farther than the Earth's moon. I can only imagine how amazing the rest of the universe is when I'm not viewing it through Homeworld's lens! This is going to be great! 

But fear not, my fellow victims to Wonderland's machinations. I know the wider galaxy is a vast mystery to Earthlings, so I'll be happy to act as an interpreter and guide. It may not be a system I'm familiar with, but heh. If you've seen one space hub, you've seen-

[Peridot's eyes track something on her left and she lets out a gasp of delight.] Oh my stars, what is that? Those are the most amazing shirts I've ever seen. The appearance modifiers here are so streamlined and elegant.  I must have them.

[and the feed clicks off, mid-log while Peridot rushes to a clothing store to indulge her inner fashionista.]

Comments

[slapfight]

... Appearance modifiers are called different things depending on where they're worn?

[WHY HASN'T ANYONE CORRECTED HER. Y'ALL ARE SLACKING. or are like Amethyst and think it's funny.]

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

i mean... i'm not an expert since i don't usually wear clothes....

but i'm pretty sure you're talking about hats...

[slapfight]

[grumbling] That explains why the humanoid running this store hasn't understood a word I've said this whole time.

[UGH.]

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

ah... sorry...

...did you find ant nice hats?

[slapfight]

[she vanishes off-camera and returns with a hat that most definitely doesn't fit over her hair/head. It's just sort of precariously balanced on the point.] What do you think? Am I "cool" yet?

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

you're so cool...

[slapfight]

[and her ego grew ten sizes that day.] Wow thanks. [she adjusts the hat, preening a bit] I have to give Wonderland credit- this event isn't actually terrible.

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

yeah, it seems really nice.... oh, uh, did you say you were from space?

[slapfight]

Originally. I live on Earth now that I've abandoned my Homeworld. [dismissively, as if that will make it easier to say:] It... was a whole thing.

pokes peridot's emotions with a stick

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

...do you miss it?

rood

[slapfight]

[awwkard silence]

It doesn't matter, does it? It's... not like I can go back.

for all their politeness, yeah, they tend to be pretty tone deaf

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

oh....

i'm sorry.....

i mean.... it does matter...but i understand if you'd rather not talk about it...sorry...

[slapfight]

It's not that I don't want to talk about it. [she LOVES talking.] It's more that I don't know how to.

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

i….. i get that….

sometimes it's nice if you…. remember it fondly….. it's okay to be sad but if the memories make you smile, that's important….

[slapfight]

That's the problem! I don't remember it fondly... I don't remember anything that I would have any feelings about at all. I did my job. I served my Diamond. That was all I had to do. Feelings weren't a part of that.