002 ♚ audio

[boyhood]

_{[Whodunnits aren't really Peter's leisure activity of choice. Who's committed a crime and why aren't as interesting as what a person will do to overcome a challenge. Slapdash, violent, gleeful murder… it's a bit much. And rather hard to ignore after the first few bodies start appearing and the horrified reactions start buzzing amongst the people.]}

Lock your doors and shutter your windows, it looks like we're in for a nasty storm.

_{[Only Peter's boyish voice can be heard; there's no indication of where he might be, or what he might be doing. Maybe he's taking his own advice on this one.]}

If you don't, be careful who you come across in the halls. Or what you might find.


| private message to Emma Swan and Regina Mills |

I expect you'll be keeping a better eye on Henry this time. Don't wander off and lose your hearts. Someone taking them without magic makes an impressive mess.

Comments

text;

[madehervows]

Doesn't pretending care get a little old?

Henry will be fine, with or without your help.

[boyhood]

You'd be the expert after almost three decades of it.

But in this case, I do very much want to see you all survive.

_{[Isn't texting fun, Regina? Exchanging barbs through this medium is a new experience, he's enjoying it. Serial killer, what serial killer?]}

[madehervows]

Was that supposed to be an insult? You can do better.

I can't say the same about you, but your "concern" is noted.

[And discarded. Why bother worrying about a serial killer when Peter Pan is on the loose?]

[boyhood]

That was genuine. It's hard to gauge these things through text, I understand.

Going to all the trouble of using quotations tells me you don't believe me.

_{[Peter Pan's too busy inflicting deadpan humor on the unsuspecting to care about using other people's organs as fashion accessories.]}

[madehervows]

Frankly I'm surprised you even know how to use a phone.

Maybe if every other sentence out of your mouth wasn't a lie, I'd be more likely to believe you.

[Actual Children Regina and Pan.]

[boyhood]

Give me some credit.

I only told lies when my life was on the line, as any person might. Right now the only lives on the line are the most vulnerable among us. Your son. The fact that I'm bothering with you at all should be a sign of good will.

_{[We'll see you on the basketball court, Queen. Bring your lunch money.]}

[madehervows]

I will when you do something deserving of it.

The fact that you think you need to tell me to keep Henry safe says a lot. Are you just that dense, or do you truly not understand what it means to be a parent?

[Sure you want to whole school there to see you lose to a girl, Pan?]

[boyhood]

That's assuming there ever comes a time when your personal opinion resumes being relevant. It hasn't in a while, not since the Savior showed her face.

_{[He's giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming it'd had relevance at all.]}

Yes, tell me again how excellent a job you've been doing parenting lately. Let's not forget the personal lesson you gave me yourself.

_{[Steel yourself, girlfriend, he's better in a slap fight than most of your gender.]}

[madehervows]

If you actually think that, you don't know as much as you believe you do.

[R u d e. But I guess when you get killed, you start to fall behind on current events.]

How could I? But I'm sure it felt better for you than it did for me. Actually being treated like the child you so desperately want to be, instead of the man-child you actually are.

[boyhood]

No, I can't imagine failing to recognize the person you claim to cherish would feel very good at all. Hard lessons don't. :)

I hear children in the other land add these symbols to their messages.

_{[On the contrary, Peter Pan has the deep-seated immaturity of a child through and through. There's no "man" about it.]}

[madehervows]

And yet, I'm sure it felt better than the dagger in your back.

They do. But coming from you? They look foolish.

[This is just going to escalate until they're both physically at each other's throat, isn't it.]

[boyhood]

_{[He can't even take offense. If he's going to let her live, he's resigned to tolerating the Queen's single, tired tactic. Day in, day out, boring, boring, boring, just like Storybrooke, a static and unchanging show.]}

You're going to need to invest in some new material at some point. Something to keep you occupied during this emergency, perhaps.

_{[Always a possibility.]}

[madehervows]

[It's hard to get new material when the subject is dead, though.]

We can always talk about the last event, if you'd prefer. I'm sure the boy who never grew up just loved the threat of being forcibly aged.

[boyhood]

<sub>[First the Dark One's assault, and now the Weeping Angels'. It would seem the Evil Queen is trying her very best to get a rise out of the higher power in this situation. Not very smart, but then that's never struck Peter as being her strong suit.

Brute force is what had earned her Henry's heart back, not artfulness.]</sub>

In that case, I'd most prefer the tale of the boy who did grow up.

I'm curious if you understand Emma's plight with her own parents better now.

_{[And if she never senses the waves of "I will dance on your grave" seeping from every cell of his being, that's a story for another day.]}

[madehervows]

[She can talk herself up all she likes, but intelligence has never been her greatest asset. But she's smarter than the Charmings, and that's what she cares about most.]

It's hardly the same thing. Henry returned to his true age at the end of the event.

[And thank god for that, because the thought of Henry growing up without her was too painful to think about.]

But we were talking about you, Pan.

[boyhood]

If that's how you see it.

_{[He doesn't need to type the ellipsis for it to be there in spirit.]}

You were talking about me, actually. Is this our belated get-to-know-you? If you felt ignored in Neverland, you only have to say. I'll spare you more attention if you like.

[madehervows]

That's how I see it because that's how it is.

[And she'll claim that until she's blue in the face.]

It'd only be fair, wouldn't it? Everybody knows my story, and yet all I know of you is what little I gleaned from your display in the street and from the pirate's tales.

But Peter Pan never plays fair, does he.

[boyhood]

_{[No amount of believing will make that true, Regina.]}

Suddenly so interested. I wonder why that could be.

I don't expect you of all people would understand fair play. It isn't how you've gotten where you are. There are people like me who do what they have to, and people like you who do what you do. Our game was unfortunate, but necessary. I didn't relish it.

<sub>[And he knows the Evil Queen has relished every one of her underhanded and vindictive tricks in the past, because she's a villain. Perhaps he is, too, but hardly in the same way. As ugly as their business had gotten, it hadn't been personal, it'd been to save his life. Events in Neverland had escalated simply because the others had refused to lose and Rumple had refused to enjoy the happiness he'd had in Storybrooke.

Given her sordid history, Regina challenging him on the grounds of unfairness is laughable. She's the biggest cheater there is, and with no regrets about it. Comparing themselves to each other is akin to comparing apples and oranges.]</sub>

[madehervows]

[LA. LA. LA.]

No? It certainly seemed that way.

[What with all the taunting, the thinking tree, every single part of Pan's sick game.]

But I don't recall saying I ever played fair, merely that an exchange of information would be. How are we supposed to believe in Pan's word, if we know nothing about him besides the fact he has no qualms about kidnapping a child?

[Nevermind all the things Regina did to children. Hansel & Gretel spring to mind; after all, if the curse hadn't been cast, they'd still be wandering in the Infinite Forest searching for their father.]

[boyhood]

_{[Is Regina asking him if he's a delusional narcissist with a really short memory and a self-serving spin for everything? Then yes, yes he is.]}

A mere twist of words.

_{[The Evil Queen will undertake whatever underhanded move she must, and that's exactly his point. Some people don't even care for the illusion of good form.]}

But what would you like to know about little old me that you haven't already decided for yourself?

[madehervows]

Just one thing.

Did you actually expect to win?

[boyhood]

_{[Oh. This is almost precious.]}

I haven't lost yet.

[madehervows]

No? You've lost where it matters, Pan.

Remember that.

[boyhood]

<sub>[He won't, because where she sees ground under her feet, there is none.

So long as he exists somewhere, then he hasn't lost the most important thing of all: his life. The rest can be rebuilt.]</sub>

And you should remember that if not for this place, you might have lost everything that does matter, Your Highness.

[madehervows]

[Until Wonderland chews him up and spits him out.

They both owe Wonderland, in that respect.]

Perhaps.

But do you know what is so absolutely infuriating about that family? They're always finding each other.