Billie, the Lizard (
squeakyslate) wrote in
entranceway2014-03-18 02:52 am
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[ Maintenance Operation #1 ]
[ What a wonderful day, Wonderland! Not only is the sun shining, not only are the trees and flowers sprouting the first hints of their bloom, no! The snow is finally gone, and all across the grounds the grass is luscious and green and- and moving. Rustling. Shaking with all the force--
With all the force of a standard-size hammer. Being dragged slowly up one of the Checkerboard Hills. By a standard-size lizard. ]
'Bout time, 'bout time, heeeeeere we goes now. [ That's awfully poor manners, talking with a mouthful of hammer! The lizard quickly lets go of the wooden grip, and smacks his jaw a few times. ] S'cuse me-- [ He sticks out his tongue, and rolls it back in. One last smack, and he's finally looking mighty pleased with himself. By lizard standards, anyway. Probably. ]
That's all better, right it is. Keep back there, ye hear me? Don't nobody come over snoopin' while Bill's at work; don't want ye lot go tumblin' over me tools, or wander all 'round and go get nails stuck up yer foot, or watch yer step none and get a plank to yer head, or tumble over me tools, or tumble me tools, me-- Me tool!
[ A speech so moving, it's even gone and moved Bill's hammer to slide all the way back down the grassy slope. He follows it flailing, tail and limbs all waving about, until the grip is back in his mouth. Mumbling with a mouthful of tool he makes his way back up the hill. ]
Me too late, eh? Eh? That'll be the day! Gots here just in time, I did, gonna make it look just right on time! "Bill," I says to me own self, "Bill, go on, make the Queen proud"! And lookit, here. I. Am. Right on the dot, all right on schedule, all in a day's work that is. You lot, don't ye worry none, I'mma fix it all right up, right on the dot right on schedule, right in a day's work, right... right... left... right, right again, don't wanna get a prick of me own nails, ha!
With all the force of a standard-size hammer. Being dragged slowly up one of the Checkerboard Hills. By a standard-size lizard. ]
'Bout time, 'bout time, heeeeeere we goes now. [ That's awfully poor manners, talking with a mouthful of hammer! The lizard quickly lets go of the wooden grip, and smacks his jaw a few times. ] S'cuse me-- [ He sticks out his tongue, and rolls it back in. One last smack, and he's finally looking mighty pleased with himself. By lizard standards, anyway. Probably. ]
That's all better, right it is. Keep back there, ye hear me? Don't nobody come over snoopin' while Bill's at work; don't want ye lot go tumblin' over me tools, or wander all 'round and go get nails stuck up yer foot, or watch yer step none and get a plank to yer head, or tumble over me tools, or tumble me tools, me-- Me tool!
[ A speech so moving, it's even gone and moved Bill's hammer to slide all the way back down the grassy slope. He follows it flailing, tail and limbs all waving about, until the grip is back in his mouth. Mumbling with a mouthful of tool he makes his way back up the hill. ]
Me too late, eh? Eh? That'll be the day! Gots here just in time, I did, gonna make it look just right on time! "Bill," I says to me own self, "Bill, go on, make the Queen proud"! And lookit, here. I. Am. Right on the dot, all right on schedule, all in a day's work that is. You lot, don't ye worry none, I'mma fix it all right up, right on the dot right on schedule, right in a day's work, right... right... left... right, right again, don't wanna get a prick of me own nails, ha!
video;
[That's definitely a talking lizard. With a hammer.
Will Wonderland ever even try to make sense.]
What are you using those tools for, exactly?
no subject
I'm gonna go sew me a pretty dress. [ Seriously. ] They're tools! What's anyone gonna use 'em for, if not for buildin'?
no subject
Okay, let me rephrase that. [Huff.] What are you building with those tools?