entranceway | video; attention everyone: stan pines is the worst, probably

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video; attention everyone: stan pines is the worst, probably

[ Hello Wonderland! Have a girl who may or may not be familiar to some of you appearing on screen, curly hair wild and her face trying to hold a serious expression but failing. Her amusement is cracking through, and she's not doing much to stop it. ]

Hey everyone. You're probably wondering what this is about, but gimme a sec. There's just a little bit of explanation that needs to be out there first.

[ Just casually clearing her throat for effect. She wants to enjoy this, okay? ]

When I first got here about five months ago, Stan Pines and I made a bet. Very loose terms were negotiated. Stan lost, and I've been holding out on giving him his "prize."

[ Because she wanted to be able to spring it on him as a surprise, which she's finally doing today. Surprise, Stan!! Happy unbirthday. ]

I'm changing that today, though. That's why today, I'm calling Stan Pines out! I probably could have just gone up to him in person instead of broadcasting where everyone can see it, but where's the fun in that, right?

[ GRINNING. ]

Stan! ...Stanley? It's gotta be Stanley, right? [ She never asked what "Stan" is short for, in his case... ] --Whatever, you know who you are! You're officially being challenged. For losing our bet, you must run up and down one of the hallways of the mansion--I don't care what floor--in your underwear while screaming about how much you hate money. Make sure to sell it. No half-assed yelling, got it? Make sure the floors above and below can hear you.

[ Pointing at the camera now, Selina offers a cheeky look. Is this childish? Yeah, very. But what do you want? He was the grown man who agreed to such a ridiculous bet in the first place, he should have known what he was walking in to. ]

And in case anyone can't make it to watch, don't worry. I'll be recording it. You know, we should really start a Wonderland video scrapbook.

[ A laugh, and the feed cuts out. Hopefully Wonderland has a sense of humour. ]

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So if we see an unclothed man yelling like a deranged lunatic in the near future, we're not to worry. Noted.

_{[Anders doesn't have a clue who this girl besides the fact she'd been there to play with some cats, nor does he know how she'd pulled one over on the old guy, but who cares? This is gold. More power to the youth.]}

I hope he doesn't have a heart condition that this exercise is going to aggravate.

_{[But Anders doesn't look or sound all that concerned at the prospect of elder abuse. It's a prank that seems all in good fun, and if Stan does have a heart attack in a hallway, Wonderland is the best place to do it.]}

Basically. [ Snickering. ] I'm sure he'll be fine, though. If anything does happen, at least he'll be fine in the long run.

[ Considering death doesn't last, and all. But really, if she was worried about that happening, she wouldn't be doing this. Stan can handle it. ]

He's a tough old guy. The only part that'll kill him is having to say that he has anything against money.

[ Selina gives a blase a wave of her hand, but her amusement is still plenty evident. ]

The exercise'll do him some good.

_{[Nope, nothing to worry about at all. Old men dropping dead? No big deal. Nothing a little perversion of nature can't cure.]}

I did get that impression from our dealings...

_{[Anders smiles with a tone that clearly gives this enterprise the Anders stamp of approval.]}

But a person should know to be prepared for public humiliation or a few life-threatening trials when they enter into a bet. Winner's privilege and all. Anyone know if he kept his cat? If this does land him in the clinic, someone will have to feed it.

_{[The cat is the real victim here, obviously.]}

Yeah, he doesn't really try to hide it.

[ She'll take that stamp of approval, even though she'd be doing this regardless of whether anyone else found it funny or not. But, it's always a bonus when other people get a kick out of it, too. ]

Right? I mean, what else are you even expecting when you agree to a bet? There's a base minimum of a fifty-percent chance that you're gonna lose.

[ SHRUG. Granted, she'd been about ninety-percent sure she'd win this one and thus hadn't prepared to lose which means she's being completely hypocritical here, but whatever. ]

...Wait, he has a cat? Since when? [ She has to bug him about this???? ]

_{[Yeah, the materialism hadn't been much of a secret back when Anders had been negotiating his way into a tour of the Mystery Shack and its exhibits. That just makes Stan being outwitted by a little girl and her chosen punishment all the more appropriate.

Is he smiling? Oh, definitely. Paying debts is fun when it's not him doing the paying.]}

I hope he's a man of his word.

_{[He says this as though it's Stan's honor he's afraid for, but really, who wouldn't be rooting for this? Public shaming is quality entertainment.

Anders gestures vaguely at the question.]}

Since he got one from me. Or found one. I don't know if he still has it.

_{[Hopefully he hadn't let the little guy disappear like Carver and Fenris and their menagerie of animals.]}

[ Ah, anything that had happened in the Mystery Shack was a prime example of Stan's passion for that cold hard cash. Selina had been lucky, she got out without him even trying to scam her or get her to buy anything, but to be fair, they'd both been having a good laugh over Stan's stories of past scams. ]

If he's not, I'll make sure he is from now on. [ The sweetest, most innocent smile. ] He's not getting away without doing this one, at the very least.

[ Stan finding a cat and keeping it? She finds that hard to believe, but if it's true, it's amazing. ]

Ohhh, you're the dude with the cats. You should be thanking me, you know. I took eight of them off your hands.

[ Mostly because she couldn't say no to those tiny faces and Alistair had kept shoving them into her arms, but whatever. Same difference. ]

Now I have to check, though. I mean, I don't think he'd do anything to a kitten, but... [ Yeah, she'll just...trail off there... ]

All the power to you.

_{[That's a smile he recognizes--he's worn it more than once himself. Go forth and bust some balls, kiddo.

"Dude with the cats" is an apt enough description that Anders doesn't try to protest it; he smiles in acknowledgement, silently accepting his fate as that guy who'd been outsmarted by his closet once upon a time.]}

That many? _{[Color him impressed. He'd only taken on two full-time.]} That speaks to your character. I'm grateful they're being looked after by a cat lover of your caliber, and I bet they are, too.

_{[Anders isn't being entirely tongue-in-cheek when he says it. Her quick jump to an innocent kitten's defense earns a smile.]}

I warned him he'd be getting a lightning bolt to the backside if he got any funny ideas. Let me know if it's my turn to keep to my word.

Yeah, that many. Your buddy kept shoving more at me, trying to get rid of as many as he could. [ HER ROOM IS A MESS NOW. ] I hope they are, though. Better than 'em wandering around the mansion and living in the tea room.

[ Kittens need a lot of attention and care, after all! That, and maybe she'd been worried about what might happen to them during events, or around the less-than-kind people she's sure are living here, too.

...Also, she's got a soft spot for cats. ]

Will do. [ She gives a two finger salute and a grin. ] I was just gonna kick his ass if he wasn't looking after it, but a lightning bolt sounds way better.

_{[He smiles to think of Alistair pawning cats off on the unsuspecting. Does Ferelden's new king have a hidden talent for fostering homeless animals they don't know about?]}

I'd say so. I joked to Stan that you can't be too sure who's liable to think cats are food around these parts to convince him to give the kitten a shot--truth be told, there probably are characters like that around.

_{[He shrugs, lifting his hands as if to say "it's an odd world out there." They have a colorful cast of residents to contend with.]}

It was good of you to take them in. You can consider me and my lightning bolts at your service as my thanks.

_{[That last part was a joke. Or was it? Hmm.]}

[ Well, he's at least got a talent for it when he's pawning them off on a teenager with the biggest soft spot for cats ever. ]

Part of me is surprised that worked. ...And all of me hopes that there aren't people around here like that. Especially since I'm assuming you didn't find homes for all of those kittens.

[ Dude. Someone eating kittens is worth more than that reaction. Doesn't matter where someone's from, that's just messed up!!! Selina is horrified at the very idea and immediately wants to stop thinking about it. That's one more concern on the top of her pile regarding whatever's left of the kitten flood. ]

Awesome. You'll be the first I call the next time I need to smite someone.

[ Mostly joking, but really, it'll be handy to have lightning bolts at her disposal. Man, she should adopt kittens more often if this is the result! ]

To tell the truth, part of me is surprised it worked, too. He didn't strike me as an animal person. I'd be less surprised to hear he handed it off to someone else.

_{[Selina, rapidly making herself out to be a curly-haired guardian angel of cats, gets a reassuring smile for her concerns.]}

You don't have to worry about them, I wouldn't let anyone turn Wonderland's cats into appetizers. That's what we have a magic kitchen for. People's standards need a boost if they're still living in the dark ages, hunting and foraging.

_{[Anders isn't naive to poverty; he's known people of little means who'd consider a cooked cat on their dinner table a blessing from the Maker himself, but they're nowhere close to living in those kinds of conditions, not here. Not with luxuries heaped on them daily.

He makes a finger gun out of one hand. Or... the mage equivalent, anyway, seeing as how the closest thing to a firearm they have back home is a crossbow. Dolling out magical clobberings in the name of today's youth and disenfranchised cats? Sure, why not. Sounds a lot more manageable than becoming a revolutionary and pitching the Free Marches into chaos.]}

Just ask for Anders.

Yeah, that would be unsurprising. Guess I'll find out when I check in.

[ Though she's undecided on whether or not it'd be better for Stan to have kept the kitten, or for it to have been handed off to someone probably more competent and willing to keep a pet. ]

Good. I mean, it's not the only reason I'm worried about them, but it's officially one I can scratch off the list.

[ As long as someone's watching out for them though, she probably doesn't have to worry about them at all. Or at least, not as much as she still is. Probably won't stop her from checking in on them when she can though. ]

Can do. And uh, hey, I'm Selina.

[ Since they haven't really been introduced and he just gave her his name, seems only fair to do the same, right? Right. Plus if he likes cats so much, he can't be a bad person. Seems worth it to know each other by name, at least. Especially if she does have some access to that smiting power. ]

Better wait a while before you do. He'll need time to catch his breath.

_{[Old man humor never gets old.]}

Selina. Always nice to put a name to a face. If telling me won't break the terms, what was this bet about, anyway?

Good point. You think a day is enough, or should I give him a week?

[ Old man humour is always great. It's probably why she spends so much of her time bugging all of the old men in Wonderland. ]

Pfft, nah, it doesn't break the terms. It wasn't even that interesting a bet, really. He just thought I'd change my mind about liking it here after a couple weeks and I suggested we make it a bet. Obviously he lost, and I'm still enjoying my time here.

Compromise with a mid-week check in?

_{[He shrugs as if to say that seems fair to me.]}

But I suppose to be fair to our wily friend, the odds were in his favor. Who would have guessed he'd make a bet like that with someone who actually likes it here? Were you lying? You can be honest, I won't tell.

Sounds reasonable.

[ She nods as though this is a very serious discussion. ]

I dunno about that, I said that I was liking things so far. If anything, his odds were 50/50. [ The question of whether she lied just makes her snicker. ] Nope, wasn't lying. As much funnier as it would be if I pulled a win from him by lying, this place is better than where I come from.

_{[70/30, at the least, taking into account Wonderland is one giant treacherous shithole, but you know. Whatever.]}

You don't strike me as the type who enjoys captivity and being told what to do.

_{[She must come from quite the miserable place to make Wonderland seem like the more appealing option.]}

[ 60/40. That's the best she'll give him. She's got good reason for liking it here, okay? ]

You'd be right. Buuut I'm not really told what to do around here. Even if I am, s'not like I have to listen. Yeah, the captivity thing sucks, but at least we're not in a stupidly confined space. Plus all the food you can eat, whatever you need out of the closet, free shelter, and some pretty cool adventures in some of the events?

The place as more pros to it than cons, in my opinion.

[ SHRUG. Gotham is totally miserable and she's fighting almost constantly for survival, even if she never makes a big deal out of it. Here? Things are pretty damn cushy. ]

If you can get past jumping through hoops for Wonderland's amusement like a show dog, then who am I to argue?

_{[Anders shrugs back.

He's known plenty of mages in his time who prized shelter and routine above all other things and loved the Circle for it--that's their choice. Him? He's not sure he'd call himself a steadfastly principled person, but he'd rather go back to the Circle threatening to kill him than this.]}

I'm just picky. I like knowing a sea monster isn't going to kill me or magic isn't going to send me walking in circles if I try to leave.

[ Wow, uhm. He's the first person to actually make her think twice about her decision.

Although, she ultimately ends up in the opinion she started with anyway and just finds herself annoyed under the implications of what Anders has said, instead. She's not jumping through hoops for anyone's amusement, man. Hell, most of the events she's dealt with have been fun and/or exciting for her. ]

Maybe don't go swimming if you want that certainty.

[ The words are a little brusque, but this conversation started out so well and she doesn't want it ruined by one differing opinion, so Selina dials it back after that. ]

Not everyone has something better than that to go back to. I'd rather focus on the positives than the negatives if we're all gonna be stuck here for any length of time.

And give up on my dream of beach side property? No way.

_{[Anders smiles, having meant no harm by what he'd said. But the fact of the matter is, omnipotent forces aren't supposed to have a monopoly on oceans, and forests, and sky. That's not how it works and not how it should work.

Touchy subject, apparently. But everyone's running from something.]}

So hop a ride to another world--maybe one with sentient cats. I don't see why that can't be possible. We all got here one way, and if there's a way in, there's a way back. I'd hitch a portal somewhere else if I didn't have things to do back home. It's not much to get excited about, either.

_{[But staying here of all places? Anders can't help but be a little worried for her if she's married to the idea of setting up shop in Wonderland. She deserves to have hope for a future. Somewhere she doesn't have to worry about having her mind flipped inside and out at random.]}

I wouldn't want this place to wear down that plucky spirit of yours.

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