entranceway | Astral Destruction

[ Clementine and Mae appear on the screen. It’s a little girl and a cat girl. They’re standing in a room on the first floor. Clem has a crowbar in her hand, slung over her shoulder. Mae has her trusty baseball bat and a very cat-that-got-the-canary grin on her face.]

Hey, so… Mae told me about how she breaks shit sometimes and how it’s… cathartic? [ that’s the word she used, right? ] And I tried it with a light bulb. It felt pretty damn awesome so we thought it might be cool to have an official place where people could break stuff whenever they needed to deal with bullshit.

[Mae immediately picks up the thread, grinning wide.]

So we are super effing pleased to introduce…The Destruction Room.

[She pans the camera over to the sign on the door. It’s generic and straight to the point. Then she pans the camera around to take in the room. There’s rows of shelves filled with china plates, vases, glass figurines and other fragile-looking items. Along the walls are dozens of light fixtures and free-standing lamps, as well as just a metric ton of lightbulbs, both fluorescent and incandescent. All of it is very precariously displayed and it looks like it wouldn’t take much to just knock some of these shelves right over.]

Isn’t it amazing? We stocked it with everything that could possibly go smash.

[Clementine gestures then to have Mae pan the camera toward the wall on the side which has a giant weapon rack with every blunt weapon imaginable from bats to maces to hammers and more. ]

Over on this wall, we’ve got every blunt weapon you can think of so you can really make the breakables crack into a hundred awesome pieces. Also, it’s on the first floor, room 4 so if you hit yourself in the foot or get glass stuck in your arm or something, the clinic’s right next door.

Yeah, we pretty much thought of everything. Because we’re awesome.

[Mae holds out her hand to Clementine for a high-five. Clementine leans over, high fiving her back, with a smile. Totally awesome. ]

Anyway, yeah, come on down and get your smash on. Work out some of that pre-event anxiety or whatever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( Clementine notices how haunted his eyes look. It makes sense. It's nothing that people can just shake and have it go away. It stays, doing that- It stays. She smiles at him the same as always. Maybe with some understanding in her eyes. )

It's funny. I never thought about breaking shit before. Then I tried it, and I really understood. It's like it gets some messed up stuff out that I can't always figure out how to get out, and sometimes it's just fun.

Yeah, it's really fun. [A beat.] Hey, what do you think of having, like, vases full of paint or mud or whatever too? Only thing better than breaking things is breaking things and making a huge mess too, right?

That's a great idea! It's a really good idea, especially since we don't have to clean the huge mess too. We just get to enjoy making it. I bet there's room for another shelf so people can break vases or jars full of messy stuff. Maybe even give people some white t-shirts so the mess they make with the paint, they can take as a souvenir.

Like cool abstract shirt art! [Dipper bounces in place, looking more excited now.] There's actual shirt dye we could get out of the closets. Oh! Have you ever tie-dyed?

[It seems like the kind of thing that wouldn't get done much during the zombie apocalypse, but maybe she had a chance before it started.]

I did, yeah! I was a lot younger, but I made a tie-dyed shirt I loved a lot. ( Clementine can't help but smile when she sees him bounce all excitedly. It's good to see it out of him. )

I haven't ever tie-dyed a shirt with stuff I destroyed at the same time! You want to come test drive it with me?

I so do. [He grins.] I hope you're cool with me inviting Mabel too, by the way. I'm pretty sure she'd kill me in my sleep if I did tie dye without her.

Of course, I'm completely cool with it!

Both because Mabel is really awesome and because I don't want her to kill you in your sleep.

We'll be down soon. I'm sure she'll have tons of ideas for how to make this even more awesome.

Astral Destruction

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