Astral Destruction

[deadshapes]

[ Clementine and Mae appear on the screen. It’s a little girl and a cat girl. They’re standing in a room on the first floor. Clem has a crowbar in her hand, slung over her shoulder. Mae has her trusty baseball bat and a very cat-that-got-the-canary grin on her face.]

Hey, so… Mae told me about how she breaks shit sometimes and how it’s… cathartic? [ that’s the word she used, right? ] And I tried it with a light bulb. It felt pretty damn awesome so we thought it might be cool to have an official place where people could break stuff whenever they needed to deal with bullshit.

[Mae immediately picks up the thread, grinning wide.]

So we are super effing pleased to introduce…The Destruction Room.

[She pans the camera over to the sign on the door. It’s generic and straight to the point. Then she pans the camera around to take in the room. There’s rows of shelves filled with china plates, vases, glass figurines and other fragile-looking items. Along the walls are dozens of light fixtures and free-standing lamps, as well as just a metric ton of lightbulbs, both fluorescent and incandescent. All of it is very precariously displayed and it looks like it wouldn’t take much to just knock some of these shelves right over.]

Isn’t it amazing? We stocked it with everything that could possibly go smash.

[Clementine gestures then to have Mae pan the camera toward the wall on the side which has a giant weapon rack with every blunt weapon imaginable from bats to maces to hammers and more. ]

Over on this wall, we’ve got every blunt weapon you can think of so you can really make the breakables crack into a hundred awesome pieces. Also, it’s on the first floor, room 4 so if you hit yourself in the foot or get glass stuck in your arm or something, the clinic’s right next door.

Yeah, we pretty much thought of everything. Because we’re awesome.

[Mae holds out her hand to Clementine for a high-five. Clementine leans over, high fiving her back, with a smile. Totally awesome. ]

Anyway, yeah, come on down and get your smash on. Work out some of that pre-event anxiety or whatever.

Comments

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[fancylad]

[Angus can't deny it: there is definite appeal to a whole room dedicated to smashing the shit out of everything. But, ever the party-pooper, he can think of at least ten different ways it could go horribly wrong, including but not limited to:]

Um, but... What if your parents show up here and find out?

[He knows Mae's like twenty, so it's less about her and more about the kid who's swearing a bunch. Which gives Angus a little rebellious thrill too, but also there's that anxiety mixed in that always comes when a kid is cool enough to swear. That usually means they're too cool for him, and that usually means they're gonna pick on him.

And, yeah, Mae's probably got parents too, but Angus already knows she tends to run fast and loose with the law. He's... really not surprised she was involved in this.]

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[deadshapes]

[It's that polite kid again!]

Oh, I'm deffo not worried about my 'rents. They know I get up to all kinds of shenanigans. Plus I don't think it really matters? Everything we smash in there will go back to being unsmashed, cause that's how the mansion works.

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[shorthair]

( Her stomach sort of twists up as she folds her arms across her chest, but doesn't let it show. )

They'd have bigger things to worry about than me making a room for people to destroy shit in.

( Like how they died, how their whole world has become apocalyptic, and how Clementine's killed people for starters. That's probably at the top of their worries when it comes to her. )

Are you worried about your parents showing up?

[video]

[zackthekiller]

[You get a blurry video for about five seconds before the image of a shady dude covered in bandages who looks like he has questions.]

Can I bring my own weapons? And shit to smash?

Please?

[He kind of needs some sort of distraction right now.]

[video]

[deadshapes]

[Holy crap it's a mummy.]

Heck yeah. Just no guns or explosives. If you want to break shit with guns and stuff you should probably do it outside.

[video]

[shorthair]

( Who the hell even. is this guy. Clementine narrows her gaze. He's talking so not a walker, which is the important part. )

Depends on what kind of weapon it is.

But mostly, yeah. You can.

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[screwedontight]

Points to you both. That's a pretty good idea. You should get it on the arrival flyer thing.

I know when I got here I would have loved to have broken things... beyond what I broke in the attic.

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[deadshapes]

Right? This is literally the best idea I've ever had.

I didn't even know this place had an attic...is it creepy?

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[shorthair]

We should. People need to smash shit all the time in this place. It gives them plenty of reasons.

( Well, there's a full name including a last name that Clementine recognizes)

Are you Richie's brother?

[video]

[didntknowbest]

Um... are you certain that this is a good idea? It all seems quite dangerous, to me!

Somebody could step on broken glass, or get hit by random shards when something is shattered, or you may accidentally hit someone else while swinging your blunt weapon... and really, I do not think that is a very healthy way to deal with your problems in the first place!

I think that you should both try and find some other, non-violent methods of dealing with any anxiety!

[video]

[deadshapes]

Nah, don't worry, Toriel, that's why it's like right next door to the clinic! Like I said, we thought of everything.

And this is non-violent! It's not like we're hurting people. And it's just glass and stuff, not like, guns.

[video]

[shorthair]

Wonderland is dangerous, and I come from a world a whole helluva lot more dangerous than Wonderland. Dealing with stuff healthily went out the window awhile ago.

It's why it's near the clinic, and if you've got suggestions for dealing with all the bullshit the world throws at us, I'd want to know, but breaking stuff really helps when you're feeling shitty.

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[powerofmabel]

You guys have noooo idea how much I needed this now.

[Last event was a jerk.]

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[deadshapes]

Dude so many people need this right now. Just like. Catharsis, yanno? We had a really shitty event and we're about to have another one that could be anything. It's the perfect time to smash.

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[shorthair]

Come on down any time you want. Break fragile stuff into pieces! It's fun.

( There's a pause then. Clementine saw Dipper afterward. She talked to him, and while she was not with Dipper during all that, Mabel must have been. She's so glad he wasn't alone for it, but it's terrible they both went through something like that. )

[private]

You doing okay? I talked to Dipper. Walkers are really shitty.

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[noreason]

Heh, I always figured that's what being outside was for.

[Then again, his way of destroying shit is...different. Doing something smaller scale might be more satisfying.]

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[deadshapes]

There's not enough breakable stuff outside. You haven't lived till you've intentionally dropped a china plate on the floor.

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[shorthair]

What's there to destroy outside? I mean, I guess you could take an ax to a tree or something, but that doesn't sound as good as glass shattering.

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[krmvgivv]

[Dipper's smile might not be as big as it would be in other situations, but it's still there. This is such a great idea.]

Wow. Count me in. This is brilliant.

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[deadshapes]

[She doesn't know what happened with him, but she knows a subdued expression when she sees it.]

Door's gonna be open year-round, if we can keep the responsible adults away from it. So come get your smash on whenever you need to, okay?

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[singloversing]

[Wow, Wirt has absolutely no idea how to feel about this.]

Uhhh...is this really like. Okay? Breaking stuff isn't usually a good thing...I-I mean I know Wonderland fixes things, but...

[Generally violence is bad, but also the last time he was told he could break things it didn't go super great for him.]

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[deadshapes]

[Oh God, it's Wirt. She knew objectively that people come back to life here, but this is...her first time seeing it with her own eyes.]

[Damn. Don't stare, Mae. Be cool.]

Well, if you think about it that way, I mean, a lot of people do actually keep their mirrors smashed. Like as a precaution? And there's some mirrors in here. So you can think of it as a precaution the same way! And also as catharsis?

I mean, seriously, it's a bunch of breakable stuff that doesn't belong to anyone. No one's really gonna care.

[Toriel and other responsible adults aside.]

Hey, uh, it's...good to see you again.

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[nomorules]

_{[Why is there a larger, girlier version of Morgana on his screen????? Who cares, it's blunt instrument heaven for a blunt instrument user.]}

Fuck yes!

_{[He doesn't need to hear any other selling points--just yes.]}

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[shorthair]

( Clementine laughs at his reaction. It was pretty much her own reaction when Mae and her came up with it together. )

Fuck yes is right!

Come down and smash shit any time you want.

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[poppycock]

[ a cat girl certainly isn't the oddest thing he's had to come to terms with in wonderland or in the cumulative experiences of his life, so klaus sort of skips over that. what he finds of interest to him about this rather delighted announcement is not only the call for cathartic expressions in hitting breakable objects with a baseball bat, but clementine's interest, practiced prerogative, and motivation to create (and share with others) that needful outlet to anger and helplessness.

he's proud of the little girl and he supposes by extension the other one too. as a friend, she can't be all that bad.

with a bit of the same delight, he says, ] Is there an age limit?

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[shorthair]

( clementine sees the delight in his expression. she sort of figured most adults would question how good an idea it is to have a room for destroying stuff, and well, even some of the other kids, they're not really sure about it. she's fine with it since she doesn't really care what most people think, but-

she can tell he likes the idea, and it makes her smile. it makes her feel sort of proud of herself too. )

No age limit.

It turns out people of all ages need to break shit sometimes. Instead of ruining your own stuff or trying to think of something breakable to pull out of a closet at short notice, there's a room that's already got it all ready for people.

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

[Normally Greg would be all over this. In fact, he'd just go right over and start breaking things. But after last event...]

What if somebody gets hurt?

[shorthair]

There's a clinic nearby for that.

So people can get healed if they get hurt. It's okay, Greg. I promise. I know things have been scary, but this helps people who- who can't really let out their upset in any other way.

[video]

[jivitadana]

[Why can't more public service announcements over the network be like this one? This is kind of all sorts of awesome.]

Thanks for this. If we smash something, should we replace it for you?

[Since light bulbs and other breakables don't fix themselves, so how would they maintain their stock? And it seemed like too much trouble to put them through to constantly have to check if there was enough stuff to be smashed at any given time. Or he could always bring his own things to smash.]

[video]

[deadshapes]

Nah, I don't think so. The room should reset itself since Wonderland fixes things, right?

[Orrrr maybe they've overestimated how much Wonderland is going to care.]

Hm, well if they don't replace themselves, then yeah, there's a closet in there for that purpose. Hey, that way people can stick some really unique shit in there!