hot mess? more like tepid disaster (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fractions) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2017-08-22 04:17 pm
fractions) wrote in entranceway2017-08-22 04:17 pm
#01 ▸ ( video )
[A young man sits before the camera, looking, to say the least, in pretty bad shape. Although only appearing to be somewhere in his early twenties, his eyes seem sunken and teeming with an exhaustion beyond his years, and his complexion is pallid.
He’s seated with bent knees, arms crossed atop them. His chin rests in his left hand, on which he's wearing a pair of nondescript black gloves with the fingers sloppily cut off. His right hand is holding the camera at a slightly odd angle, as it's been awhile since he's used a mobile device of any kind.
Making eye contact with the camera, he attempts a smile, which comes off looking unsure and diffident.]
Am I...
[A pause. While he's no stranger to speaking in front of a camera, addressing a group of strangers on a more personal level is a whole different concept entirely, and he's only just now aware that he has absolutely no idea what to say.]
Is this place... In my head? It feels real but I--
[Again he cannot finish the thought, as he's still overwhelmed with guilt due to the way things were left at home before he was brought here.]
...I'm sorry. [He looks down as he mumbles the words, ending the recording immediately afterwards.
When all else fails, apologize, although it's not like this method of communication has done him any favors in the past.]
He’s seated with bent knees, arms crossed atop them. His chin rests in his left hand, on which he's wearing a pair of nondescript black gloves with the fingers sloppily cut off. His right hand is holding the camera at a slightly odd angle, as it's been awhile since he's used a mobile device of any kind.
Making eye contact with the camera, he attempts a smile, which comes off looking unsure and diffident.]
Am I...
[A pause. While he's no stranger to speaking in front of a camera, addressing a group of strangers on a more personal level is a whole different concept entirely, and he's only just now aware that he has absolutely no idea what to say.]
Is this place... In my head? It feels real but I--
[Again he cannot finish the thought, as he's still overwhelmed with guilt due to the way things were left at home before he was brought here.]
...I'm sorry. [He looks down as he mumbles the words, ending the recording immediately afterwards.
When all else fails, apologize, although it's not like this method of communication has done him any favors in the past.]
no subject
[Are you afraid of anyone? Check "yes." Scratch it out a heartbeat later, and check "no" instead, because that's the answer they're looking for - because Mom is leaning over your shoulder and helping you fill out the paperwork and if you check "yes" and show it to her she'll think you're trying to get her in trouble.]
[So check "no" instead.]
[A muscle in Tim's jaw rolls slightly as he shifts on the spot.]
There's a...chance they'll show up at some point, same way you did. It's kinda hard to say.
no subject
Any chance is better than none, I guess. [Strangely, he finds himself not wanting to think about the possibilities of Shaun showing up here at all, likely because he can never seem to imagine anything past the "find him and say sorry for everything" step of the scenario. But if it happens, he'll figure something out. Probably. Maybe.]
Have you found someone you know here...? [He absolutely doesn't want to any personal questions, but this might be vague enough to be acceptable.]
no subject
[Which...he'd better start believing that some real impossible shit is capable of happening, because that's just the sort of place Wonderland is. You see dualed versions of yourself from a past you don't remember, and you see people you once knew lose everything they were, molded into something Wonderland prefers.]
Memories kinda work...weird here. [He doesn't dare suggest that the other guy might be used to it. Only freaks are used to things like that, right?]
no subject
[Okay, the memories comment throws him for a loop for a second, if only because it (ironically) brings up some bad memories he'd been trying not to think about.]
I imagine that's not something that's easy to get used to... At least not in my experience. [He's not great at thinking before he speaks, but he sure is skilled at oversharing.]
no subject
People come and go. Sometimes they remember being here. And, uh, sometimes they don't. It's kind of an adjustment.
[That's not something that's easy to get used to, in his experience. There's another tightening of his shoulders, a moment where his eyes dart up to meet the gaze across the screen. People with memory problems; Wonderland sure does like to attract them, doesn't it?]
[Maybe it likes kindred spirits.]
no subject
[This time he doesn't notice any shift in mood, too caught up in nervous rambling, and the half second or so of eye contact doesn't strike him as odd, or even particularly awkward. There's something bothering him, though, and he knows he won't stop thinking about it unless he asks.]
They didn't... Forget you though, right? [It's selfish, and he knows that, but it's so important.]
no subject
[One hand goes to the back of Tim's neck, his brows knitting together at that.]
...depends on what you mean.
no subject
I guess I mean... [He chews on his lip thoughtfully for a moment, trying to think of how to phrase exactly what it is he wants to know.] Well, if they... if they came from your place, your home, and ended up here, and they saw you, they'd remember you, right? But if they left, and then came back, they'd still remember you... I hope...?
no subject
[Because that's, you know, a cool thing. Wonderland wasn't happy being complicated enough. You keeping track, Michael? 'Cause it's about to get more complicated, and Tim's wry tone probably isn't helping.]
Hasn't been the first time for either of us, actually. Not that we remember being here those times either.
no subject
[He nods.] I think I get it... Or at least the bare bones of it. [It actually doesn't sound that bad; okay, it does sound bad, but isn't it kind of tempting to know that any mistakes he makes here could be potentially erased? Because, he's sure of course, that many, many mistakes will happen.]
no subject
[That's the gist of how Wonderland works. Exciting for everybody, and even more thrilling, you get to deal with other people potentially remembering you. Hasn't happened to Tim yet - and he's hoping it never will - but more than a few people remember one Alex Kralie, and that makes things complex enough for Tim's liking.]
What's your name?
no subject
[...Oh. Of course he hadn't even realized he doesn't know this guys name and yet they're well-into a conversation about some pretty dark stuff. Yet another painful reminder of how abysmal he is in social situations. Oh well, though, at least he didn't have to be the one to ask.]
It's Michael... What's yours?
no subject
[Honestly, he's not even the worst Tim's ever met when it comes to socializing. Jay probably takes home that award, but then, if Jay is the metric by which Tim gauges everything, of course it's going to emerge a little skewed.]
[Maybe more than a little skewed.]
[It's an old instinct that has him turning the question around in his head before he utters it. Not everyone's fucking crazy the way you are, Tim. You're the exception, not the rule. Stop looking for shit that isn't there.]
[Stop trying to pry things loose from other people's skulls when you can't even handle living in your own.]
[But the guy asked if anything was real. If he feels like things aren't real very often, maybe there's small cause to worry. To be concerned.]
Look, are you...okay?
no subject
He's more okay than he was when he posted the original video, if that counts? By his own loose definition of "okay," he probably is, but by other people's...? He should probably just say "yes," because chances are high that Tim already thinks he's crazy, but that would also be lying which is bad and--]
...If you mean like, right this second, then yeah I'm alright. If you mean in general, I... guess I don't know. [Could've gone worse.]
no subject
[So, no then. It's not necessarily an honest answer, but Tim knows enough about fronting to know when "all right" isn't really all right. When "fine" isn't really fine. Sometimes you ask if something's real, if it's all in a dream, and if there's any going back. He's quieter than most people are, to start with. Solemn, subdued.]
[Maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. But they always say to deal with the quiet ones first.]
[He's dealing with it.]
It can be...kind of a lot to start with. Adjusting to all of it.
no subject
I guess it wouldn't be easy for most people to cope with just waking up somewhere completely unfamiliar with no memories of how they got there. [Disregarding that he's sadly accustomed to this, but he's known for almost his entire life that this isn't normal, so the statement still stands.]
[He almost asks if it gets any easier, but the likelihood of the answer to that question being "yes" isn't anywhere near great enough to risk the disappointment.]
But anything can seem like normal if you're exposed to it enough, and I assume being here could end up the same way. [That's a general observation, yes, but one he definitely learned from personal experience.]
no subject
[It's not prudent to mention to just anyone that, for others, that's not an unfamiliar sensation at all. It's not wise to go about broadcasting your status of grade-a freak to anyone. But anything can seem like normal if you're exposed to it enough. After a while, you learn to detect certain patterns.]
[Who else knows those sorts of patterns?]
I guess it's kinda weird to start with, [for most people, that is] but you learn to get used to it. Someone send you the, uh...pamphlet already?
[Yep. Someone made one of those.]
no subject
Weird's probably the right word, I guess, yeah. [He offers a nonchalant shrug and a nervous laugh.] I can't say I've gotten a pamphlet, though; is that essential?
no subject
[Yep. Someone made a brochure. Eventually he locates the right file and sends it along as a digital download.]
Hope you're familiar with PDFs. Some people around here are kinda from the Stone Age. I mean, uh - [WELL, HE'S NOT EXAGGERATING.] We get people from...all over, is what I mean.