ᴊᴏɴᴀᴛʜᴀɴ ᴋᴇɴᴛ﹣﹣ sᴜᴘᴇʀʙᴏʏ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kryptomight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2017-08-28 02:49 pm
kryptomight) wrote in entranceway2017-08-28 02:49 pm
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--there we go!
( the feed opens up to just his face, a satisfied grin plastered across his mouth now that he sees that he did, in fact, get this thing to work. it doesn't quite reach his eyes, though; they're a bit red, definitely swollen. don't judge him. )
Hi! My name’s Jon Kent. I’m looking for my mom and dad. My dad’s name is Clark, and my mom is Lois. My dad looks a lot like me, just bigger? My mom has brown hair. I’m sure they’re fine, but I haven’t been able to find them yet.
( the grin shifts into something a bit more sheepish, free hand raising to adjust the big, bulky glasses sitting on his nose. )
And uh. . how do I know which room’s mine? Why are there ogres outside--?
( the feed opens up to just his face, a satisfied grin plastered across his mouth now that he sees that he did, in fact, get this thing to work. it doesn't quite reach his eyes, though; they're a bit red, definitely swollen. don't judge him. )
Hi! My name’s Jon Kent. I’m looking for my mom and dad. My dad’s name is Clark, and my mom is Lois. My dad looks a lot like me, just bigger? My mom has brown hair. I’m sure they’re fine, but I haven’t been able to find them yet.
( the grin shifts into something a bit more sheepish, free hand raising to adjust the big, bulky glasses sitting on his nose. )
And uh. . how do I know which room’s mine? Why are there ogres outside--?
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Nonetheless, they are also telling themselves they could find a way to win.]
Oh, yes. Completely dead. They got swallowed by a gigantic prehistoric fish. From hell. A demon fish from hell. You're all alone here, so I wouldn't waste any time weeping over them.
I know that because I'm a demon too. The hell fish was my neighbour. We were in the same youth group.
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Crunch, went the hell fish, snarfing up your parents' bones. The hell fish loves bones. They're like baby carrots to the hell fish. Just can't stop eating parents, that fish.
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and even if he's really sad and upset, he doesn't want to destroy everything in a nine mile radius. ) M-my dad couldn't h..have been k-killed by a giant fish. . ! He's w--. . way t-too strong for that!
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The fish ate him first. It fried him with its laser eyes, which are a thing that it definitely has. He was fizzled down into a giant man-shaped chicken tender before he could even blink.
The hell fish dipped him in ranch, because the hell fish has terrible taste in condiments and dips.
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Where is it?! I won't let it get away with this.
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[I mean, technically, Chara has definitely beat up a fish before. This is throwing stones in a glass house. Even so, they're giving up on keeping a straight face. He's not crying anymore, so the fun part of the reaction is over. They're definitely smiling now - but they're almost always smiling, so that might not be so surprising.]
All because a complete stranger told you to go ruin its day?
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( so, obviously? what else would they have expected when they told him his parents were eaten be a giant demon fish? he. doesn't really think anyone would be mean enough to lie about something like that! )
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[They're giving up on the ruse. It is tempting, sure, to stick with it - to see what else they can make this kid believe about gigantic groupers from beyond the gates of Hades - but it's probably not gonna get funnier than this.
So they just start laughing.]
I was just fishing for a reaction, and you delivered in spades. What, did you think a portal to Hell just popped open and this massive tuna came strolling out?
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Why would you just lie to me like that?! ( he's raising his voice, maybe a bit too much, but he's angry. it's--one thing to tell a funny joke as a white lie, it's another to tell someone their parents are dead. )
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[They shrug.]
Don't be such a baby about it. Now when I tell you that your parents aren't here and you're going to have to live with maybe never seeing them again, it doesn't sound so bad at all, does it? I mean, at least they weren't eaten by a fish.
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( he wants to deny being a baby so bad but he did just start crying. on camera. he's never going to be able to get over that, is he. thanks for nothing, weird kid. )
Lying isn't funny. Lying just to trick someone is even less funny! Didn't anyone ever teach you how bad it is? How would you feel if someone told you that your parents died?
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Well... no, that's not quite true. I killed them with someone else's hands, technically speaking.
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Why would you do that?
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I believe our official excuse was "I thought it was the only way," but I'm quite sure that you could also throw "to see what would happen" or "because they killed us first" at us and it wouldn't be entirely wrong.
Maybe I just like killing people for no reason at all?
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You're a murderer. ( as if that wasn't obvious enough from what they've already said. ) A murderer and a liar. Back home, they put people like you in jail. ( he realizes he can't really take action, like this--it'll ruin his secret identity, won't it? and he's not supposed to let that out, even here--kara said as much. but the way that they're saying is a bit--confusing. what do they mean, their parents killed them first? but they keep going on about it and honestly he's getting really confused by all these different reasons. still doesn't change the truth though. )
So why aren't you in jail here?
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[They laugh brightly. Nailed it in one, crybaby!]
Unfortunately, there is no jail here. No school, no CPS, no prison, no nothing. We're basically barbarians.
[Chara shrugs, their smile widening.]
But you could do something about one of those things, I suppose. Here is a murderer, a liar, someone clearly deserving of punishment. What will you do about it?
You could maybe try locking me in a room. Or kill me a few times. Wonderland gives us five freebies, and I've already used up one or two lives. Or just beat me up, maybe? Violence is the only language creatures like me understand, I hear!
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jon would never kill anyone, that's wrong, it would make him no better than the murderer he was trying to take down, right? and he definitely doesn't have any authority to lock anyone up, nor is he going to abuse his strength to beat someone else up. )
I'll tell Supergirl! ( yeah. . yeah, this works. ) And Superboy, and Rob--wait maybe not Robin.
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[They answer flatly, disbelievingly. Superboy and Supergirl? Wow! Those are probably the most generic fake-sounding superhero names they've ever heard! Surely that can't belong to anyone real, let alone iconic and definitely right here in Wonderland. Surely.]
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( both of his arms raise, crossing over his chest as his jaw sets tight. don't be rude, wow. just because they're super generic doesn't mean they're not real. )
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Passing the problem off to someone else doesn't fundamentally change the problem, you know.
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I don't know, something! They'll figure it out! They always do!
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Well. Guess I've got no choice, then. If nobody is going to stop me, then I'll just have to keep being my lying, murdery self all over your Wonderland.
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