journal entry #1 [video]

[voidfished]

[When the camera turns on, it's focused on an older woman, easily in her late 50's, with short, white curled hair. Her deep blue robes and ornate staff, coupled with her rather serious expression, make her a rather imposing figure. She's holding a blue and silver bound journal, which she seems to be scribbling fervently in until she notices the device is on, and she re-steadies it quickly to give her message.]

I would like to request an audience with whoever seems to have summoned me to their, uhm... lovely home. I understand that there are many who require my attention, but my situation is rather urgent, and I can't spare any time at the moment.

[As the message goes on, she seems increasingly tense, gripping harder to her staff and seemingly obviously distracted.]

Provided this is broadcasting to more than one person, any help would be appreciated.

[Quickly, she reaches out, fumbling with a few buttons before the feed cuts.]

Comments

[voidfished]

It wasn't your fault.

[She's sure of it. She doesn't know the full circumstance, but she-- she knows. She thought it would only take her a year to get the relics back. She knew how each of them worked, and being the only one with knowledge of them, along with previous intel about where they were last seen, should have made it easy. But the longer it took, the worse it got. The more she lost all control, until she lost her 20 years in Wonderland. She had been so close then, she thought, so fucking close, all for nothing.

She knows something about the destructions of best-laid plans.

Lucretia can't smile, really, with everything that's gone on. But if Lup doesn't turn her away, if Lup wants her, she will never send her off alone. She slides her hand across the floor, lightly intertwining their fingers.]

Lup, I've missed you for so long. I could never turn you away now.

[Somewhere quieter, for the two of them. She has no doubt the discussion will continue eventually, but all her aching heart wants is to be home.

At least now she has it here.]

[restinglichface]

[Everything is still too heavy on her slight shoulders, but Lup allows Lucretia to twine their fingers together, her own squeezing lightly against the other woman's. No matter what happened or how much time has passed for one of them, Lucretia's back here with her and Lup couldn't ever turn her away either. Not now, not ever.]

Hella. [It isn't full of her usual spark, but she'll get there again. They can both come back from this and fix whatever lingering hurt remains between them. Lup just needs a little extra time to shake something this big off of her. Losing Taako has been the only thing on her mind since she arrived. Finally having an answer for why he didn't remember her was both a relief and just more added worry.]

C'mon, let's bounce. [Still holding Lucretia's hand, Lup pushes herself up off of the ground and helps her friend to her feet.] You can crash with me as long as you want.

[voidfished]

[Lucretia isn't at her best after this, either. But the fact Lup still wants anything to do with her is it's own victory. Part of her still feels like this could be a trick; something devised by the Hunger to bring her up, so close to where she wanted to be, only to fall again.

But Lup seems so real. And Lucretia finds herself so, so desperate.

She keeps her hand in Lup's, rising with her, but tugging her a bit across the foyer.]

Let me get my things. It wouldn't be safe for me to leave that staff just sitting around, after all.

[A Grand Relic, especially with nearly the entire Light of Creation inside. It certainly shouldn't be left unattended. But... she also doesn't want to let go of Lup. So she brings her with, scooping up her staff and journal one-handed, pressing it to her chest. It's a bit clumsy, but it works.]

Let's go.

[restinglichface]

[Lup allows herself to be tugged across the foyer, her gaze drifting down to the staff in Lucretia's possession. It's a physical reminder that there is still so, so much more that Lup needs to ask Lucretia about, an entire decade for her to catch up on, a million details she has to learn to be caught up to the rest of her family.

But Lucretia kneels to retrieve her items before she's looking back at Lup expectantly, her face aged but her eyes just as familiar as ever. Lup has time. Maybe not all the time in the world like they'd all felt during the early cycles, but she has plenty of time to ask what she needs to later.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow she'll ask.

For now, the elf curls her fingers around Lucretia's hand and tugs her once she's ready for her, already heading towards the stairs that will lead to her room.]

First things first, Luce. [Her heart is impossibly heavy, but Lup can't help the way her mouth curls.] We really need to have a chat about that outfit.

[Whatever happens, Lup has a feeling they'll end up fine.]

[voidfished]

[Lup drags her along, and she feels more like herself than she has in a decade.

It's weird, to think about that. To tie your identity so heavily to another person, to think of who she is only in relation to someone else. But she's been bouncing off this image of her so long, this persona she's had to keep up to save the world, that having even a moment of safety between clasped hands is the best relief she can ask for. She exists in the dichotomy of the items clutched at her chest- her journal, of her past, and the staff, of her future.

Right now, Lup's hand in hers is more important than all of that. Whatever is coming for her at home, if it is truly waiting, it can wait. It's selfish, but she's taken nothing for herself in so, so long. She'll take this, and give what she can, even between the subtle sting on her face from other places Lup's hand has been today. But a step at a time can be taken. Lup wants to find her way back to Lucretia, and in her desperation Lucretia will let her.

Maybe she shouldn't. But she will.]

What, you don't like it? I think it's rather fetching.

[And she follows, dutifully. They've been in unfamiliar situations before.

They'll work it out.]