one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

[scathefires]

[Jason woke up inside the mansion, gave it all a cursory look-through, and promptly noped the hell on out of there. Ain’t nobody got time for this Wonderland theme park bullshit - especially not the Red Hood.

Of the available options, the forest seemed like the best way out, so that’s where Jason is now, trampling through the brush, snapping twigs underfoot as he mutters his complaints into the comm device:]

This would be going a lot easier if there had been any vehicles worth taking …

[The sounds of movement stop, and Jason sighs loudly. He is Officially Lost, and he wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, so he’s understandably a little tense in addressing whoever might be listening.]

All right, this is officially stupid, and I don’t have time for stupid. Got much bigger fish to fry, so I’ll get right to the point. Whose head do I have to stuff in a duffel bag to get a map of the way out of here? Tick tock, losers, answer fast – Daddy doesn’t like being kept waiting.

Comments

[postictal]

because she’s been here forever and probably knows this place better than anyone for one

[scathefires]

thats not scary

that just means shes old

[postictal]

yeah people don't really age here
congratulations you're stuck looking the age you do forever

[scathefires]

guess thats not the worst thing ever

[postictal]

not really
unless youre a kid

[Seriously, major sympathy for, like - all the kids here.]

wonderland has the rest of the worst covered

[scathefires]

not a kid but thanks for the concern anyway

[postictal]

no just someone with the emotional maturity of one

[scathefires]

tomayto

tomahto

[postictal]

great
glad we got that squared away
dont set fire to anything important ok

[scathefires]

if its flammable how important can it really be

[postictal]

amazingly we dont rank the importance of anything here based on how flammable it is

[scathefires]

seems like an oversight

ill have to speak to someones supervisor about this

[postictal]

like i said
try the librarian

[scathefires]

thanks for the tip

[postictal]

have fun making a total ass of yourself

[scathefires]

gotta have goals in life right

why settle for half ass when you can total ass

[postictal]

borderline inspirational
put that on a cat poster

[scathefires]

graphic design isnt really my thing but thanks anyway

[postictal]

neither is diplomacy

[scathefires]

neither is underwater basket weaving if you wanna get technical

[postictal]

glad we got that one cleared up
since youre here anyway i'd recommend reading up on the brochures
we've got a few of them now

[scathefires]

already checked em out thanks

gotta say though they read like stereo instructions

[postictal]

you just got abducted to another world with no escape and you're gonna waste time criticizing the reading material

[scathefires]

theres always time for literary criticism

its like jello

[postictal]

i think your analogy needs work