Max Caulfield (
mypartnerintime) wrote in
entranceway2018-02-04 07:13 am
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[Video / Action ] Backdated to the evening of Feb 1
[Video]
[Two years of Wonderland. And a year without Chloe, that closes on February first, without any fanfare and fuss. So far.
Max is on the roof, sitting cross-legged right at the edge. There's a bunch of stuff next to her: an ashtray, a guitar, a box of fireworks, and a worn notebook whose cover is decorated with a variety of stickers. The items peek into view of the camera as Max shifts.
Her face is lit with the soft glow of sunset. The sky is awash with its gentle hue, the large clouds a burning, orange color, pulling long shadows in the air. It clashes with the dull white snow on the roof- the world caught somewhere between the brightness of afternoon and the darkness of dusk. The golden hour.]
Hello. [She runs the tip of her finger along her cheekbone, her gaze shifting self-consciously between the horizon and the camera.] So there's this funky section on our devices that stores all the old messages and recordings... kinda like the internet. And I do mean literally all. You can bounce way back and find some of the things you broadcast before.
I just hit two years- in Wonderland age- and I sort of wanted a dose of blast-from-the-past. Just to see how much things have changed.
So here's a good old fashioned dare: show me one of your old network posts. Something that's funny or you're proud of. Or that really changed who you are. There's so much saved up and I kinda wanna skip to the good parts. As Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
[She grins at the screen. Sure it's a cheesy dare but... it does sound fun to her.]
Max out.
[Action]
[She'll spend the whole evening on the roof, willing to chat with whoever comes up. Then, close to midnight, she sets off the fireworks. The rockets and showers of light bathe Wonderland in shifting colors, and it goes on for a whole minute, turning the night into a spectacle.
She watches with melancholy and satisfaction, letting the sight distract her. It's comforting that the vastness of Wonderland, the dark of the sky, the thick silence- that these things are broken for a while by light and the gentle thud of distant fireworks. That this small, insignificant thing in the middle of their adventure is nonetheless captivating and lovely and marks this one night differently. In memory of Chloe.]
[Two years of Wonderland. And a year without Chloe, that closes on February first, without any fanfare and fuss. So far.
Max is on the roof, sitting cross-legged right at the edge. There's a bunch of stuff next to her: an ashtray, a guitar, a box of fireworks, and a worn notebook whose cover is decorated with a variety of stickers. The items peek into view of the camera as Max shifts.
Her face is lit with the soft glow of sunset. The sky is awash with its gentle hue, the large clouds a burning, orange color, pulling long shadows in the air. It clashes with the dull white snow on the roof- the world caught somewhere between the brightness of afternoon and the darkness of dusk. The golden hour.]
Hello. [She runs the tip of her finger along her cheekbone, her gaze shifting self-consciously between the horizon and the camera.] So there's this funky section on our devices that stores all the old messages and recordings... kinda like the internet. And I do mean literally all. You can bounce way back and find some of the things you broadcast before.
I just hit two years- in Wonderland age- and I sort of wanted a dose of blast-from-the-past. Just to see how much things have changed.
So here's a good old fashioned dare: show me one of your old network posts. Something that's funny or you're proud of. Or that really changed who you are. There's so much saved up and I kinda wanna skip to the good parts. As Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
[She grins at the screen. Sure it's a cheesy dare but... it does sound fun to her.]
Max out.
[Action]
[She'll spend the whole evening on the roof, willing to chat with whoever comes up. Then, close to midnight, she sets off the fireworks. The rockets and showers of light bathe Wonderland in shifting colors, and it goes on for a whole minute, turning the night into a spectacle.
She watches with melancholy and satisfaction, letting the sight distract her. It's comforting that the vastness of Wonderland, the dark of the sky, the thick silence- that these things are broken for a while by light and the gentle thud of distant fireworks. That this small, insignificant thing in the middle of their adventure is nonetheless captivating and lovely and marks this one night differently. In memory of Chloe.]
action
...D, did you wanna watch it again?
[ He keeps the device there still, turning his head towards her but not quite looking at her eyes. He's clinging on a small hope that she didn't notice his reaction to it. They've just met, they're not even friends! He shouldn't really bother about what she feels.
And yet.
It just didn't feel right to condemn it when he can't even find a reasoning as for why it's wrong.
Maybe if this was a few months back, he'd not even question it and just discredit her for it. He's getting more and more obviously awkward about this whole situation, but he's not brushing the issue off just yet. His free hand finds its way to the back of his own neck, scratching it like he'll figure it out doing that. ]
action
[Not in front of him. Not anymore. She's embarrassed, and feeling rather small. And hurt. And a little insulted, now that it's sinking in. Why should it matter if a girl likes a girl? Or a guy? Or whoever? As long as no one's getting hurt. She opened up, and... is he judging her for it? What would give him the right? They hardly even know each other.
But that's the problem, isn't it? They hardly know each other and Max dragged him into this whole... awkward situation. This whole reveal. And now neither of them know how to act around each other. Dumb move on her part.
Max gives a tiny sigh as she steps away.]
Thanks. For the help.
[She pauses and then... because she can't help it, because she's a little hurt, because she feels so strongly-]
We were really in love, you know.
[Not just experimenting, fooling around, whatever. Not just a phase. It was for real, and why should it bother her how he feels about it? But it does.]
action
W, wait!
[ He blurts before he even manages to sort his own thoughts out. But it feels like if he doesn't do it now, there won't be next time. ...Why should it matter to him? Again, they're not even friends. They just got to know each other. Why, indeed?
Maybe because he's trying to be a better person. Maybe because he doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore for no good reason. ]
I-- look, I just... I've never... y'know, encountered-- uh, I just, it's not... something I see often, I didn't know what to say, and I--
[ Goddammit, he's making this worse. Enough. ]
My bad. Didn't mean to offend you. I... I dunno much about love but you guys do look like you care a lot about each other.
[ Words. What are them. ]
'm sorry.
action
No, it's okay, I... forget that it's not... old news for everyone. [She rubs the back of her neck. Now she feels bad for making him feel bad.] And I dunno what I was thinking. Kinda nutso for me to just... dump that on you, it's just, you know, the fireworks...
[She sighs heavily, annoyed at her own inability to explain.
And in the back of her head there's this small itch to rewind this conversation away. She could, easily- it's still well within the period of time where her powers would work. But if she erased this conversation from existence, that'd feel a lot like sweeping Chloe under the rug.
So she doesn't. Let Mondo think what he wants to think. Tonight is for Chloe.]
...It's okay. [She mumbles more than speaks.] Let's just admit we were both being maximum weird about it.
action
No, I... you ain't bein' weird. [ He lifts his head, making sure he sees her eyes when he says this, even if he feels like running away. ] I didn't think yer weird at all. I've just... never thought of this possibility.
[ He swallows, fumbling. God, why does he suck at talking so much?! ]
I, uh. I know those kinda relationships exist, but guess it's... still somethin' when you see it for yourself. ...Ah. [ Immediately he lifts his hands, upon realising how that wording can sound. ] But I didn't think that was wrong or shit like that! It's just... new?
[ Ha haha ha. ]
action
Thanks. It's... not a biggie. Just awkward.
[She gives him a flat smile. She doesn't really believe half the stuff he said but... she's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. And she's willing to ignore his awkwardness over the "see it for yourself" comment. Boys. Ugh. Everybody's gotta make it into more than it is.
When she speaks again, her voice is more firm than sharp, as though ending the conversation without turning it into a fight.]
And for the record, there isn't anything wrong with "shit like that". But... anyway.
[She shrugs.]
...It's okay.
action
He puts his wet palm against his neck, like it'll give him an idea of what to say. Obviously, it doesn't. His head just lowers further in both guilt and shame. He, out of all people, should know what it's like being judged for what you do, for how you look ー what it's like being the 'outlaws'. All these years, he's been fighting the norms, and living the way he wants to live. He's always hated how much Japan worships conformity, and how limited everything is just to 'accommodate' other people.
But what's the difference with how he reacted? ]
Yeah.
[ He was acting just like the society that he hated. ]
You guys didn't do anythin' wrong.
[ There's nothing wrong about it. They aren't harming anyone else, unlike what he actually did. Then again, Mondo's not the most tactful when it comes to words. That's about what he can offer at the moment. ]
...'m really sorry.
action
No... I'm sorry. [She shakes her head. While the sentiment is sincere, it's obviously hard for her to express it. Her voice is still tight, but it's lost some of the firmness.] I shouldn't have made it into such a big deal.
[She stares at the ground awkwardly for a few moments.]
Let's just... call it even. Okay?
[He did help her with the video, after all.]
action
[ He swallows. ]
I, uh. I dunno what it was like back in your home, but your kinda relationship's... not somethin' usual in my country. People there're always scared of somethin' different. [ His fist tightens. ] 'The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.' It's the way things are there and I hated it.
[ More than anyone. ]
But... I pretty much did the same thing. So that's completely my fault ー it's a shitty thing to do. Sorry.
action
The nail that sticks out gets hammered down. What a scary phrase. And a really bad place to live.
She feels like she understands him a little more- and understands that his apology is coming from a really heartfelt place. That it's very much sincere.
Sure he blundered. Everyone does. But he's... really making an effort to fix it.]
...Okay. It's okay. [She gives him the smallest of smiles.] Just, uh. Be glad it wasn't Chloe you said that to. She would've totally lost her shit. [She pauses.] I'm glad that you're... not like your country.
action
...Feels shitty to admit, but maybe I'm more like 'em than I thought. I mean, I did what I did earlier. 'Course I've got no intention to ever do that again, but... y'know. I still fucked up.
[ He lifts his head so his eyes can meet hers. ]
Thanks.
[ He's not sure what in particular he's thanking her for. Thank you for forgiving him? Thank you for giving him a chance? Thank you for letting him see things in a different light? Maybe all of them. Anyway, he extends a hand towards her. Handshake! ]
action
I've never met someone who didn't screw something up. At least you tried to fix it.
[And she gets it. The culture where he came from was different... Stricter. You don't just shrug that off. So she understands... or she's trying to.
But what do they do now? Stand around awkwardly? She looks out from the roof over the Mansion grounds, in the dark, hand coming up to rub the back of her neck.]
I'm still... glad you showed me that video. So. Yeah.
action
I, uh. I dunno if you'll ever feel comfortable to, but if you ever need any help... y'know my name. You can always buzz me.
[ Wonderland has exposed him to a vast variation of cultures, it's like a mind-blowing revelation everyday just being here, learning about the people and their different point of views. He may not be able to agree with everything and everyone ー it's impossible for anyone to do that, anyway ー but he wants to learn while he's here. He doesn't want to break any more things. He wants to create, repair, and do what's good, even if it'll never free him from his past regrets. ]
Sorry for the bother.
[ He was the one who barged in to her safe space earlier, so he'll see himself out here. With a nod of his head, he heads towards the door. ]