First Case.

[just_fine]

Excuse me... I found this old phone on the ground.

[ And when he'd tried to dial a number for the police he couldn't get it to work, but it seemed to be working okay now..? If this feed was actually going to anyone, anyway. He sure hoped so. ]

I was wondering if anyone out there has a working phone? I seemed to misplace mine. I'd like to call a taxi if that's possible.

[ The last thing he wanted to do was spend the night in some weird large building. ]

Comments

[Text]

[shslliar]

[OMG. This guy thinks he can ask for a taxi outta here.]

[Time to mess with him.]

You asked for a taxi driver?

Where are you needing to go, sir?

[Text]

[just_fine]

[ Well this is different. So this thing does have a text function after all... ]

Preferably home, but I heard that isn't possible...
a place this big has to have SOMETHING out there though, doesn't it?

[Text]

[shslliar]

[No, duh. All old phones can text.]

Sir, we can't actually get you home if you don't specify where you live.

[Text]

[just_fine]

[ Hm.

There's something weird about this and he can't quite put his finger on it. Maybe the fact that it so heavily contradicts everything else he has been hearing. ]

Most taxis get the address after pick up. How far are we from Los Angeles?

[Text]

[shslliar]

Ah... Let me check...

[Kokichi's snickering somewhere. He pauses for a moment before typing something up.]

Right, according to the GPS, we are currently at least 9,999,999,943 miles from Los Angeles.

A trip like that will cost you about 5 million dollars.

[Text]

[just_fine]

[ ... Apollo hates that that actually sounds pretty legitimate, all things considered. ]

My paycheck could never cover that! I don't even have a retirement fund that could handle that!

[Text]

[shslliar]

I'm sorry, sir. That's the cheapest price I can offer you.

Would you rather have me drive you to the nearest airport instead?

[Meanwhile, Kokichi is totally cracking up.]

[Text]

[just_fine]

[ An airport would probably not take as long either---what was he thinking this HAD to be a sham. There was no way anyone else never tried to get away from here. ]

And how much would that cost.

[Text]

[shslliar]

[What's the matter? Are you doubting yourself?]

Let's see...

[And he's not gonna reply until the other guy texts back.]

[Text]

[just_fine]

Can't be any worse. If there really IS an airport.

[Text]

[shslliar]

Funny you should say that.

Apparently, the nearest airport was pulled out of existence during last month's event. We have no idea how long it will take to rebuild.

[Text]

[just_fine]

[ OF COURSE IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. ]

So in other words it's just like everyone else has been saying?

[Text]

[shslliar]

Yep.

Welcome to Wonderland. Enjoy your stay. :)

[Loooooool]