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[ the video feed comes on looking up at jesse. he's sitting with his chair leaning back against the wall, feet up, device resting on his leg. he's not nearly as relaxed as he may look however(fake it until you make it??). he's seen and experienced some weird shit in his life so really, waking up in wonderland doesn't even place in his top ten. no his problem is more with the fact that he's here, and tulip is back in new orleans bleeding out ]

I've been hearing a bit about these closets. [ he knocks on the door of the closet just off-screen next to him ] I hear they can conjure up just about anything. That true? [ 'just about anything' doesn't mean 'anything' so ] What's the limit? What kinda things will I and won't I be able to make it give me?

[ he tried testing the closet out with a pack of cigarettes. dream big, preacher ]

And anything else worth knowing about Wonderland?

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lol a priest?
were they all out of costumes for this one?

Nothing too personal or specific to your world.

[You could get variations on an item, but if you try anything that is one of a kind, the closet seems to have no idea what you mean.]

Depending on how important it is, you may have to take a trip to the vendors but those purchases come with a cost.

Apparently everyone was birds last week.

Either that or they put some really weird shit in the drinking water.

[He's still trying to decide which himself.]

Biggest thing I've found is that it's got to fit through the door, and you have to be specific or it fucks with you.

[Says the man that considers himself an expert on pulling out anything he can think of.]

Takes a bit to get really high end Scotch, and the brand names are likely nothing you know. Gotten everything from armor piercing rounds to a rocket launcher. Suits can end up being tailored already, if you do it right, and you may end up with a box of toys like what you're asking for but eventually you'll get it.

Also it will give you living things, so don't flood the place with nubbins or some shit.

excuse me?
yes a priest.

Damn.

[ the vendor thing sounds interesting though and like it could possibly come in handy. and he doubts cost will be an issue for him. he's sure he'll be able to get however much he needs ]

What kinda cost are we talking about?

A memory. That's the currency of most things here.

[The things that make them real and give them power, and Wonderland is more than willing to take what's offered - or what's not offered in some cases.]

You don't get to choose it, they choose for you.

I mean, I recently pulled a cat out which is not something I realized you could do. Sometimes you have to try a lot to get what you actually want -- my fiancé apparently pulled out a million ring pops before finally getting the engagement ring he wanted out of it. They definitely have their own unique sense of humor.

[there's a moment and then she adds:]

Have people filled you in on the mirrors, the creepy doppelgängers we all have that live on the other side?

[ he scoffs and raises his eyebrows. that sounds... decidedly inconsequential, all things considered ]

That's really all they want? Just a memory?

you really expect me to believe you're a real-ass priest? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
i mean i guess the judge wasn't necessarily bad place or good place
*Bad Place
*Good Place
but like
are their neutral priests?
purgatory priests??????
unless we got some demons and some angels
oo are u an angel i haven't met an angel yet
that'd actually be pretty interesting

It may seem like just a memory now, but it's not the only thing that can take memories from you. Events take memories. Events are built out of our memories. We lose memories when we leave this place and get them back when we return.

[She gives a small shrug.]

It's important to be sure that the things you're getting for them are worth it. Especially since you don't know which memory they'll be taking.

[ wow scott way to ease a guy into this shit! ]

Everyone was birds? How the hell does that work?

[ as an aside: ] I drank some pretty weird shit before and never thought I was anything other than me.

no you're right. i'm not a preacher, i just like the clothes and conducting sermons every sunday for folks who don't give two shits about god.

[ never mind the fact that those people are all dead now and jesse hasn't done... well anything priest-like since leaving texas. that's all totally irrelevant to his point! ]

no. no i'm not an angel. and meeting one would probably be a lot less interesting than you think

so you're a real preacher who's met real angels.
i mean there's definitely yahoos like that on earth but that seems like a stretch for convincing me this is wonderland thing is what it says it is and not some other weird experiment.

[Which...makes it more likely this guy is legit, she guesses. But still.]

yes i'm a real preacher who's met real angels and you know what? they were assholes. what does any of this matter anyway?

Alcohol, guns and clothes... [ he nods as seth explains, trying to commit it to memory for later testing ] Good to know. Those are certainly some things I was looking for. Probably wouldn't be looking for nothing living though.

So machines'd be the same thing then? Basically just trick the closet into giving it up?

[ because that's his takeaway from this: trickery ]

I got plenty I'm willing to give up. [ tho there is also plenty that he's not willing to part with so the idea that there's more than one way to lose memories here will probably make him think a little harder about the vendors ]

You keep saying events like that's supposed to mean something to me. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you'd said nothing specific to my world, right? The hell's that even supposed to mean?

Hell if I know. That's just what they told me.

Could be one of those 'fuck with the newbies' things, though. You know, like they do in prison.

[Or...at least, they did with Scott. ]

[ he's about to comment on the cat thing and the ring pops and just how much of a goddamn joke this place is starting to sound like when she mentions something that no one actually has mentioned to him yet. whatever smartass comment he may have been about to make isn't quite as important right now ]

No. No one's mentioned nothing about any mirrors or doppelgangers. And what do you mean 'we all'? Like, I got one too? [ but he just got here... ]

Can't say as I ever been to prison. [ locked up for a few hours? sure. but prison? nah ]

I see what you're saying though. Could all just be bullshit Probably all bullshit.

[ even jesse will only believe so much ]

Well, I mean, that's

what I heard

they do.

In prison, that is.

[He'd whistle innocently if he thought it'd help.]

I don't know about you, but I don't have a lot of experience with people who have the power to suck other people into books.

You only heard? You wouldn't be lying to a preacher now would you?

[ well the innocent whistling probably wouldn't hurt at this point! ]

No I don't have any experience with nothing like that. First I heard of anything like it.

It's true.

I have heard that.

[He's not going to lie, to a preacher. He's a felon, sure, but he's got respect. Still, he's gonna weasel his way around it. He's heard it, and it's also true. ]

Me neither, but convincing people they're birds could be in the program.

[ don't worry scott. whatever he may or may not have done, jesse's not actually judging. he may or may not have done things at least as bad ]

Convincing people they're birds is a hell of a lot different than people being birds. Convincing people they're birds ain't hard.

There's a lot more, but that's been my last couple of days. [Being turned into a bird is not sitting well.] But except for the collection of toys, it hasn't been that bad for me. Another guy was talking about getting exploding cigarettes one day.

[He ponders, considering that before nodding.]

Far as I know, sure. Though you may not get the exact thing. So if you know how to build it? Might be easier getting the parts than the finished thing and then doing it yourself.

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i'm so sorry in advance

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omg no this is delightful

GOOD i'm excited to play off the preacher peeps

EXCELLENT! bc i am already having fun with this cr

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