video | Do I dazzle you?

[alsoagirl]

[ Good evening, Wonderland! Jessica's super perky and giggly. There's so much for her to be happy about! So now everyone gets to witness her trying to be a vlogger, because she is pointedly ignoring anything involving someone's dumb supernatural call out post. ]

There's so much romance floatin' around, I swear, and it's not even Valentine's Day. Not that I've ever known what it's like to be with someone 'round then, but whatever. [ She waves that off. ] People're gettin' married, it's sweater weather and time for cuddlin'... [ She sighs happily. ] It got me wantin' to read somethin' warm and happy for once.

[ She needed something to distract her from her burning desire for vengeance, okay? ]

But okay, so, I just started this series I've always being dyin' to read. Like, it didn't even occur to me that I could do it here! And now I can and it's so good.

[ Jessica's clutching the first book of said mystery series in her hands, the top of it just barely visible on screen. It's like she had to hug it a little to make her point. This shit's the best thing since sliced bread! ]

I know not everybody's from the same world, but somebody's bound to know about it, right? And I bet at least one person's read it, 'cause it's so popular. Like, it's a movie!

[ And so, the lion finally reveals to the lambs what book she means... ]

So, anybody read Twilight? I wanna talk with you all about it!

[ Yes. She is dead serious. ]

Comments

[Audio]

[shslliar]

[Kokichi was getting tired of waiting for a chance to troll whoever made the callout post response from the other guy, but now one of the local vampires is vlogging about Twilight?!

Hopefully she wasn't anywhere near the movie theater when she started recording, because she'd hear the gremlin boy laughing so hard at her taste in books.

Ah well, while he was here, he may as well go to the back and put on one of those cheesy movie versions before replying to her via audio.]

Read it? Why, I was about to watch some of it in the Movie Theater! They made movies of that book, ya know!

[Yes, that is the audio from the DVD menu in the background. It's for aesthetic.]

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[alsoagirl]

Whoa, hey! [ And she clearly sounds annoyed, even if she can't see what he's seeing. ] I'm not watchin' the movies till I'm done readin' 'em all! Cut that shit off so I can still be surprised!

[ NO ONE IS RUINING HER FIRST MOMENT WITH EDWARD. ]

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[screwedontight]

[For the most part, Seth is looking pretty much back to normal after mostly disappearing for the last few weeks. Mostly hiding and nursing his wounds because he didn't want to explain what had happened to him... more so who had done it. After realizing why, he figures he deserved the beatdown, and Kol shouldn't answer for it.

Or get congratulated for it, either way.

That said, he saw the video that Jessica makes, and he realizes he's really fucking confused over something. Either communication has failed, or maybe the two need a hand.

Or maybe he should keep his nose out of things, but anyone that knows Seth knows that is never going to happen. Which is why he sends back a quick message.]

Okay, from the guy that figured he'd only ever have his brother for the rest of whatever eternity we have, and found someone here...

Given how defensive the Mikaelson boy is over you and I know what that can mean...

[Given he would kill for Chloe or Maggie without thinking twice, so he couldn't fault Kol for what happened. Not really.]

Why are you worrying about books and not actually doing the whole cuddling, fall, whatever thing for real?

Also, is that the thing where they sparkle?

[alsoagirl]

[ Okay. Well. What in the fuck.

She has to let all of that process in her head a few times, because she can't believe most of these words are coming out of Seth's mouth. It was like trying to peel apart the world's biggest, grossest onion, each layer getting worse and worse with no sign of the center.

Jessica presses her lips together for a moment, really thinking hard on what she wants to say. Probably best to start with the easiest thing and work her way up. ]

Okay, one. Yeah, they sparkle. But that ain't important. Two...

[ She takes a deep, calming breath. Then she wildly throws her hands up. ]

What the fuck are you talkin' about?!

[ BECAUSE SHE'D SURE LIKE TO KNOW. ]

[talesuntold]

I've read the whole series. [She mocked them mercilessly and enjoyed herself thoroughly in the process. The question will be how straight a face she can keep while having a book club with Jessica.]

Have you seen the movies yet, honey?

[alsoagirl]

Oh my God, you have? [ Jessica squeals. ] You are, like, the coolest ever! But no spoilers, though! I have even't started the second one yet!

[ She grins. ] And I'm not touchin' the movies till I've read everything, otherwise I might get too into 'em and forget all about the books.

[ Because whoever played Edward was fucking hot. ]

[jamminshield]

[This small boy is eager to agree with her! He nods happily.]

I know, isn't all the love going around so sweet?

[Then, he goes on mote curiously, because he loves a good book!]

...I don't think I heard of a book called Twilight, though. What's it about?

[alsoagirl]

Aww, hey! Never seen you before! [ She holds her cheeks. He seems so adorable already! ] Glad you could join me for this [ She wiggles her fingers daintily. ] ~romantic~ discussion.

But Twilight! Ohmigosh! Okay. [ She starts to sound breathless, she's so excited. ] There's this girl named Bella, and she's human, right? And she moves to this town and she's so depressed about it and thinks nothin' good'll come of it. I can sooo relate.

[ Jessica leans in, her grin so wide it's liable to split her face in two. ] But then she meets this super hot vampire named Edward and he totally sweeps her off her feet!

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[naughty_nurse]

It sounds a little familiar... But that was years ago, for me.

[she's been here for about 3 years, after all.]

What's it about?

[alsoagirl]

Oh, dang. Did they not have that book in China? [ Pause. ] I mean, Japan?

[ See! She remembers! ]

It's about a human and a vampire fallin' in love with each other. It's the best! Like, all ever anyone wants to talk about is the sparklin' bullshit, but that's hardly even a big deal!

[ She huffs. Losers. ]

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[twirlier]

[Misty has been dealing with a lot of emotions and thoughts that keep her mind occupied, so when Jessica posts a video talking about romance and cuddling and all those things, it truly hits to the heart of the things in Misty's head.

She considers that for a while, about what is on Jessica's mind and the things she's having so many issues with. Eventually, late in the evening when she's cleaned up and left the garden to head for the manor for a bit, she acts without letting herself over thinking it.

At least not anymore than she already has.]

Are you busy tonight? Or got time sometime soon? I wanted to ask you about some things if you've got time.

[alsoagirl]

[ Aaand Jessica's suddenly worried. Was that Irish asshole messing with Misty now? Like, that probably wasn't the issue, but with that post of his, she was paying way more attention to her friends.

Her text comes near instantly, mostly because she's beginning to master the art of texting at vamp speed. ]

No way, I can totally talk! Do you wanna do it on here or should I meet you somewhere? You're OK right?

[itchtokill]

[Sometimes, every now and then, Kol is painfully reminded of how incredibly young Jessica is. This happens to be one of those times. He's internally groaning even as he responds.]

The holiday is ridiculous and that book is even worse. What on earth do you find remotely intriguing about it? It's a farce, a mockery!

[alsoagirl]

[ WOW KOL that's a lot of unnecessary hostility over some of the best things ever! Like, jeez, she's never even gotten to enjoy Valentine's Day, and she hardly even got to touch normal books as a human. Let her live her life!

She makes such a face at him. ]

You hush up! The book is amazin'! Just 'cause they're not like us don't mean they're not way cool vampires!

[ Though it is kind of amazing that he has Twilight in his weird version of Earth, too. ]

And Jesus Christ, what did Valentine's Day ever do to you?

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[geekorthodox]

[ While the broadcast starts out a little overly sentimental, Patterson can get behind being happy for people. A lot of people are happy lately about a lot of things and that's kind of nice considering the gloom of the recent murder and just...the general suckiness of Wonderland in general.

But then she brings up...that book and. Yeah. Cringe fest. ]

I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that.

[alsoagirl]

[ Jessica squints. It's another new face, but this one she's suspicious about. Something about the way she said that makes her lips pucker. ]

Why d'you say that?

[powerofmabel]

Okay, so, like a creep, I ran and got a copy from the closet, and this is so much like True Vampire Blood: The Diary Journal Chronicles: Sequel Moon Descending! ...But the plot is way less complicated.

I know what Iiii'm doing this week.

[alsoagirl]

Wow. That's... [ She blinks. ] That's a friggin' long title. Jesus, it's like they took so much vampire stuff and shoved it into one book.

[ What a concept! ]

Oh, but! [ She giggles. ] That's not creepy! That's cool. You gotta tell me all your feelin's about it eventually! You're sooo gonna love it!

[ And she adds, just because Kol's being an ass about it: ] Though I feel like I gotta mention I don't sparkle, 'cause somebody I know's throwin' a fit over it.

[mollymocked]

[Okay but is it smut, because the only books anyone around him have read that aren't spellbooks are smut books.]

Definitely haven't read that one, but since you're so enthusiastic, go ahead and give me a little idea of what I'm missing.

[There's only so much one can do in Wonderland. Listening to Jessica describe her maybe-maybe-not smut book is bound to be delightful.]

[alsoagirl]

Um, hello. You're missin' the greatest shit EVER.

[ Jessica takes a deep breath. She was fucking born for this. ]

Y'know how they say opposites attract, right? Well, it's like that, but with a human and vampire. Her name's Bella and his is Edward, and she's new to a borin' town, and he's been livin' there with his super cool vampire family. And oh my gooosh, he tries to stay away from her, but he can't and...

[ Her lower lip wibbles. She might cry. ]

Sorry. Gimme a minute to collect myself.

[slapfight]

[meanwhile... Peridot is squinting.

She understands Fandom and the urge to Discuss. She would happily oblige this person her request... if she knew what the heck it was.

So because she can't ask nicely, she responds bluntly.]

What's so great about it?

[alsoagirl]

[ Ugh, so many of these people are missing out on so much!!! Fuck these places with no amazing vampire literature!

...Like the places with green folks, apparently. Jessica takes a moment to just. Stare.

But she'll move past it! She's seen enough weird shit in Wonderland already to let things roll off her back. Besides, anyone who shows interest in this book is good in hers. ]

It's, like, the greatest love story of all time! It totally made vampires way cool!

[ Or so she assumes. She was a tad divorced from the normal world as a human, but why wouldn't something this good do such an amazing thing? ]

( video. )

[wildwest]

I missed out on a significant portion of time, which includes a good portion of the literature that was available in that interim. Apparently that includes whatever this Twilight book is all about.

[ doc, no. you're better off not knowing. ]

[alsoagirl]

Well, hi there! [ Jessica perks up. She's been peeking around on the network to see who Wynonna's mystery hunk of an old fart is, and here he is in the flesh. Her grin's big and bright. ] You're Wynonna's old guy fiancé! I'm Jessica! I'm gonna be the one takin' pictures for y'all!

[ She giggles gleefully. ] And Twilight? It's the best human-vampire love story in the universe!

[ A bold claim... ]

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[ladydemocracy]

[ Oh. Oh no. Look, Leslie has nothing against Twilight itself, but she could only read ten pages of it and that was enough to know something was very wrong with Edward. Like, creepily wrong. ]

Hi there! I'm always happy when people read new things, but I hope you don't pull your standards for romance out of that one, honestly. It's not, you know...how people are supposed to treat one another? You can do so much better! Everyone can!

[alsoagirl]

[ Jessica's just blinking for a while. She swears adults just don't understand what a good relationship is!

But all right, she'll bite. She puts on the sort of know-it-all smirk that only a teenager could make so perfectly annoying. ]

Okay, but this is vampire stuff. It's different. I'd probably do half the stuff Edward did if I was tryin' to keep someone safe and show 'em I love 'em.

[ She'd already done the biting enemies stuff! It just...didn't turn out so well, but still! ]

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[efficacy]

People are getting married? Here?

[ You know what, she's not touching the Twilight thing. Live and let live, to each their own, etc. etc. ]

[alsoagirl]

Yeah, totally!

[ She grins...and then it fades. ]

Is...that a bad thing?

[ Did Wonderland curse marriages?! ]