Action + Video - I'm off on this super fun adventure

[teamfun]

[ARRIVAL; Action]

[It's been something of A Day for Louis. A roller coaster of some really awesome and some really horrifically terrible shit. One minute, he was standing over that absolute jackass, Abel, and the next he's stumbling out of the first floor storage room out into the corridor with some comedic arm flailing. He catches himself, then stills, glancing around the space that is definitely not Ericson's courtyard.]

Toto, we're not in Kansas any more.

[He lets out a soft laugh that's toeing a little too close to hysterical. Carefully, he slides what looks like (and turns out IS) a chair leg with nails rammed into the top from an inside pocket of his held-together-by-love-and-duct-tape trenchcoat. For the observant, there's a blood stain on the upper arm, dry, a few weeks old, but definitely there, and definitely around a recently duct-taped hole. He raises his makeshift mace as he edges to a window, peering out at the perfect, beautiful Walker-free grounds.]

Oooookay, Lou. You're having a little bit of a psychotic breakdown. That's okay, that's fine. It's been a weird day. You knew it would have probably happened eventually. It's all good. Someone'll snap you out of this any second now.

[If you're heading towards him or passing him by, congrats, you've got his attention, he'll wave at you with his free hand.]

Hi there, mental breakdown conjuration. How's it hanging? Good? Good. I'm great. Not freaking out at all.

[LATER; Video]

[Once he's been filled in on what's actually happening (but still not utterly convinced this isn't some kind of stress-induced hallucination) Louis picks himself a room. He has his first hot shower in literal years, and even trusts the (magic????) closets to give him a new set of clothes. Aside from the trenchcoat. That remains as filthy and duct-taped as always. He's not parting with that for anything.

He sets himself up in the kitchen, where he sets up his communicator with a few false starts. It's been a long-ass time since he got to play with actual electronics. He's got a veritable feast on the table around him- ranging from god-awful junk food to fancy-ass steaks. They never truly starved in the school, but when all you have to eat for nigh on eight years are variations of rabbit, fish or berries, you can't help but indulge. He'll regret it later, when his system freaks out from suddenly having too-rich nutrients again, but that is a risk he's absolutely willing to take. He grins, giving the camera a thumbs-up. He doesn't get what's happening at all, but he can't just sit still, this...this keeps him active.]

Hey there, fellow captives-slash-mental breakdown prisoners! The name's Louis and I'm brand new to this... whatever it is. AnyHOO, seen as it sounds like I'll be here for a while, I thought I'd get to know you a little better. [He raises a dirty, dog-eared pack of playing cards t the screen.] So! If any kids wanna come to the kitchen and share in my bountiful feast and have a good old game of War, you're totally welcome to. Highest card gets to ask a question to the other person, fun, right? Or, I guess, you can be boring and do it over the video instead. What'd you say?

Comments

action

[slapfight]

[You had to go and make a wizard of Oz reference didn't you, Louis?

Well, now there's a green girl. Kind of. She's in the process of checking her communicator when she notices that she's being waved at. She waves back, squinting at him.]

Actually, by the usual definition, you're freaking out a lot. [Oh stars. He's a new one. Well. Time to show him her expertise.] You just arrived, didn't you?

[teamfun]

[That sure is a green girl. A green triangle girl. This is not helping his not freaking out at all. Nope. No siree. ]

Holy shit, did you eat all the green crayons or something?

[One day, he'll think before opening his mouth and letting words just fall out. One day. Not today, though.]

Um...I think so? I just came out of [he points at the still open storage room door, which is clearly just a storage room and not a portal back from whence he came.] theeere?

[slapfight]

Are those meant to be eaten? [...Not that she eats, but boy has she been using them the wrong way if they're food.

Not important. She'll double check with Steven later.] Never mind. You've definitely fallen prey to the Wonderland system. Your real body is likely in stasis outside of the simulation.

[And this is why Peridot isn't allowed to greet newcomers.]

[teamfun]

Not unless you're three years old, I think, and even then it's not something you probably should eat.

[Peri, why are you like this? ]

Um?!! Simulation? Be kind, rewind please? What do you mean my real body is in stasis?

[slapfight]

[You're about to get the Peridot Experience.

She clears her throat.] This is Wonderland. It's a highly detailed simulation. You can tell by the way it changes on a whim to suit whatever its will is. Time doesn't move. The scenery barely changes. And you can only go so far in any direction.

But an organic body can't exist within a program, so clearly it abducts people, uploads their brain data to the system and puts them through a series of trials in this space.

Are you following so far?

[..... really though. why is she like this.]

[teamfun]

No???

[He has no idea what this tiny green person is saying at all.]

Look, whatever this...thing is? I can't do it. I didn't sign up for anything, and I really need to go back home. I'm in the middle of some stuff.

[slapfight]

[UGH. IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF PEOPLE UNDERSTOOD HER LONG-WINDED AND COMPLICATED EXPLANATIONS. THE PROBLEM IS CLEARLY NOT HER.]

Wonderland isn't voluntary. Your... stuff will be waiting for you when it no longer needs you, though I have no explanation for what holds worlds in stasis like that.

[thank god.]

[teamfun]

[The problem is NEVER HER, wow. This would have been a lot easier to deal with if he hadn't just watched his closest friends getting thrown into a cage and taken away. It would be super easier to deal with.]

Is...is this something to do with those Delta guys? I thought-

[That they were looking for soldiers. That Lilly woman said the camp was well off, but he didn't know it was this well off.]

I didn't think it was this.

[slapfight]

I don't know what that is, so no.

[Because if she doesn't know, then clearly it's not relevant to their situation.] Wonderland is controlled by some sort of superior being, and it's certainly something stronger and more intimidating than "those Delta guys."

[That's not how you describe superior beings unless you are her, and then you call them clods.]

[teamfun]

[RUDE.]

I dunno. They were pretty intimidating. Buuut I don't think they can be considered superior beings so there is that.

[He still doesn't really GET IT.]

So. You think this is some kind of experiment?

[slapfight]

What else would it be? Something of this magnitude can't be random. It's too controlled. It has a certain amount of internal logic. It reads thoughts and memories and produces environments for us to navigate through based on those things.

[she flails her arms. YOU GET IT??]

[teamfun]

[This is the kind of logical thinking Aasim would get behind and Louis lets out a soft groan at the thought. God, he'd be doing this here. Looking at the math and the science and forcing it to make sense. Louis has never been one for the numbers- he's the artsy music guy.]

Okay, so who's running this experiment? I mean, it's gotta end at some point, right? Once they get their results?

[slapfight]

...My data on those things is inconclusive. [Her expression deflates.] But I assume results are on an individual basis- once someone leaves Wonderland for good, then they're no longer necessary to the project.

[Except when they come back. Maybe there was inconclusive data on that end. Who knows. SHE IS DOING HER BEST.]

[teamfun]

[Lots of holes there, Peridot.]

I don't know, this sounds really weird. Like, if I had access to just pluck people from all over- why just put them in a sandbox and watch them scurry about like ants?

[slapfight]

So they can torture the ants endlessly and the ants have nowhere to go, because they're ants and they aren't clever enough to figure out how to escape. [This may tap into some unresolved issues for Peridot and she points angrily at the sky.] I am clever enough, you clods, and let it be known that I, Peridot, will not rest until I figure out the flaws in your stupid system.

[>...Yeah.]

[teamfun]

[Louis turns his head to look at where Peridot is pointing. Then, he lets out a low whistle. Hooo boy, suddenly he's feeling very much the NOT crazy one.]

Yeeeaaah. You tell 'em Triangles. I'm sure you'll beat the system and they'll never know what hit them.

[He is absolutely humouring this tiny crazy person. You don't cross the crazy people. They're 100% more likely to knife you. ]

[slapfight]

[Yeah, that's right, Louis. Embrace the insanity. And Peridot doesn't even realize she's being humored. She just looks deeply smug.]

Heh. Peridots are often underestimated, but cleverness and ingenuity are at the core of our basic molds. We live to solve problems.

[She seems to have noticed that Louis is still there and still in need of assistance, and she sighs.] I suppose I should take you to the mansion now.

[teamfun]

Is...is that what you are? A Peridot? Like the gemstone?

[Does we want to go with the crazy lady named after a shiny rock? Does he REALLY want to do that? He doesn't really have many other options, and he's pretty sure she would have killed him already if she wanted to.]

Yeaaaaaah okay?

[slapfight]

Exactly like that. I'm a gem.

[Whether he wants to follow her or not, she's leading... and still talking. Louis has been declared "a good listener" just by how baffled he is by her.] We're a spacefaring race designed to conquer other galaxies, though I've defected and protect life, instead. In fact, you're in the hands of the leader of the Crystal Gems, rebels responsible for the continued safety of the Earth.

[teamfun]

[She wouldn't be wrong in that assessment- though currently bafflement is indeed his go-to emotion. He follows her, because genuinely, what is his life right now. ]

So...you're the leader of a bunch of rebels, protecting Earth? That's...also made of gems?

[Why would he have any reason to doubt her, obviously, OBVIOUSLY.]

Thanks on behalf on Earth?

[slapfight]

Thank you! And it's not made of gems. Gems were made there. In kindergartens. Honestly, the fact that beings on Earth don't have extensive files on the old gem colony is ridiculous. It shaped their entire planet. No other race has survived a colonization to be able to keep records of it, and Earthlings just piddled it away.

[Ignoring that that was five thousand years ago. Humans had only just invented fire, Peridot.]

[teamfun]

I can tell you right now that that sort of thing is absolutely not taught in schools. There would be tacky-ass souvenir shops and an crappy lifetime movie about it by now if anyone knew about it.

...Like, kindergartens as in the place you put little kids?

[slapfight]

[She has no idea what "tacky ass" is or why they need souvenir shops for it and what that even has to do with what she's saying, and she was about to ask, but then... the dreaded assumption happens.

She grits her teeth.] No. For some reason the only thing Earth took from the Diamonds' failed colonization of the Earth was that word, and then they twisted it into something ridiculous.

[teamfun]

Well, I mean, it's not ridiculous to kindergarteners. It's kind of a big deal for them. Lots of meeting new people and appointments with paste and glitter glue.

Sooooo if it's not about that what is it?

[slapfight]

It's the beginning of all gems? It's where we come from! [HUFF] Look. You take an injector, you fill it with a special mixture, and then you stick it into a hole in the wall of a specific type of cavern that's enriched with minerals that the gem will then pull from the surrounding area as they grow. And when they're done, they pop out of the hole and begin their duties. It's basic gemology.