Text, event day 2, also a little action

[ssmisery]

[For the record, by this general point in time, Lapis actually would be willing to make video posts, but yeah, not right now. Maybe she should've done this sooner, too -- do people still need to be told what's going on? -- but it's already been a seriously long weekend.]

this one is mine
people are in the items
please let them out

[Straightforward!]

Comments

[entreats]

What else are we supposed to do with the seas of time we have here other than think about things?

[ Because it's clearly not because she's still bothered. Obviously. It's not as if Lapis is seeing right through her to the truth or anything, and neither is it true that Ange spends every single moment carefully manufacturing a cool and unaffected image of herself to seem less vulnerable.

Clearly. ]

No one cared that I died back home either. Except for one person who didn't even realise who I was until I was already half dead. It'd be unfair of me to put expectations about it on anyone else then.

[ssmisery]

shut up

[That's horrible talk and Lapis doesn't like it, and she's not about to listen to it now of all times.]

maybe i don't understand it
maybe i'm just a bad person after all
i don't know what im supposed to feel or whatever
but
it's not that i don't care about you
i'm just really BAD at it
and i get it if thats not good enough
because i realize youre goingto hate this but
you actually do deserve better
so shove it

[entreats]

[ There's no reply for a good few minutes. Not because Ange is offended at Lapis' rather aggressive pushback, but more just since she's surprised by it. She's never really had that kind of pushback against the sort of stuff she just said before, let alone this kind. It leaves her entirely unable to know what to say for a few moments until she finally manages to reply. ]

I guess I can't refute it. You're right. Or well, partially right. I stopped thinking about stuff like "deserving" and whatever a long time ago, but I do.. want it. People caring. Even if it'd be kind of badly caring.

But it's scary to hope for that. Back in that mind world of yours, or whatever it was specifically, it felt like I was being called out for being an idiot in getting too carried away with the thought of "oh, I think I actually like talking to Lapis and would feel bad if something happened to her at this point, maybe she might even feel the same way." That's why I was upset. It was at myself rather than at you.

[ssmisery]

you COULD just get upset at me you know
but i guess that's an improvement

[Lapis also doesn't have it in her to actually start self-flagellating about it or anything. That's like the exact last thing she needs to start in on today; she has damn well earned her right to still be a bit of a jerk, anyway. There is a pause.]

maybe i don't understand maybe i can't
maybe you can't understand suffering for thousands of years
i still don't know
just
you're not dead HERE
and i'm actually really glad about that
okay

[entreats]

[ You have to do way worse than that for her to get upset, Lapis. Unfortunately Ange's standards are incredibly low. ]

That's actually what I wanted to hear. It's probably going to sound weird. Or.. less so to you, I guess, but the death part wasn't the worst. [ So specifically not caring about that one thing? Not as bad. ] It was just worried that you not caring about that meant you didn't care about me at all.

So this is enough. It makes me think that maybe still being alive isn't all that bad when there's some people who like talking to me sometimes. Who are alright with seeing me around. Maybe I'll get used to that feeling sometime.

And once I do, I guess I can get properly upset at you if you want it so badly. [ That last part is meant a little more lightly as a joke.. but it's already hard enough to tell with Ange's usual deadpan tone, let alone her text itself. ]

[ssmisery]

i'll make sure to get more irrationally defensive when that happens
we could really have had a better go at this

[The sarcasm is something she likes about Ange. Honestly Lapis is more surprised at how forthright the rest of this has been. Stars, she's tired.]

no offense
but does that mean we can get back to the thing where people are trapped in helpless misery, unable to even scream right now?

[entreats]

Yeah, sure.

[ Since she got the heaviest part out of the way now, at the very least. That was enough emotional thoughts for now, she's used up her whole week's supply of them in one go there. Time to recharge - once she's finished the puzzle of figuring out how to get this object-person back to normal and out of the room. ]

You don't have any recommendations on how to get them out? I don't exactly want to do something reckless and break someone's neck by accident.

[ssmisery]

[All right, back to this bullshit then. Lapis doesn't get any breaks from her angst today, but that's no fault of Ange's.]

from what i've seen most of them have a specific part you need to break off
or something along those lines
but they're pretty different
you could try to find someone who recognizes something maybe



but even if you don't figure it out
just
please don't forget that that's a person

[entreats]

I wasn't planning on forgetting. [ She almost adds something about possessing more empathy than that, but that might be kind of raw after the specific discussion they had just now, so she settles on not sending that part. Trying real hard to be tactful is difficult when you lost all sense of it years ago. ]

I'll try figuring it out somehow.

[ssmisery]

all right
if you have more questions you know where to find me

i mean not that i can actually help that much clearly
i don't know how wonderland wants this to work
but i guess i'm what we have

[entreats]

It's alright, it sounds like this is mostly just something we have to figure out for ourselves.

[ Since Lapis doesn't have all the answers either. And if she doesn't, then Ange would rather not harass her over an issue that clearly seems painful. ]

I hope for your sake that no one asks something particularly stupid.

[ssmisery]

[For a moment, Lapis almost wants to call attention to that. Aren't you curious, she might ask, or something along those lines with more layers of snark. She doesn't especially want to talk about it, and indeed appreciates the respecting of her privacy, nor would she really expect less from Ange, but she could couch it in sarcasm and they'd fence around it. But she doesn't know why she even has that impulse, since she doesn't want to talk about it; and either way, somehow, she definitely can't do that after the conversation they just had. That would also probably be bullshit. Lapis will just have to live with being treated considerately.]

i'll live