13; video

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji's MIA since Sunday morning. He hadn't thought to warn anyone about where he was going, since it wasn't supposed to take this long.

Now, Souji's lying on his back on his futon, on top of the blanket and fully clothed. The device is on the floor to one side, capturing a very boring feed of Souji not moving.

At all.

Then he gasps, the sound strangled, his chest heaving like he's never breathed before. He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling for a minute before sitting up, moving as though his whole body aches. One hand goes to his head and he sits there, disoriented for several minutes before getting up and walking out of frame.]

Comments

[eatsyourscience]

I won't do it again.

[masukukunai]

Well duh you won't. Unless you've got a death wish I don't know about.

[eatsyourscience]

No. [Just insatiable curiosity.]

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke look up. He seems frustrated.]

It's weird being upset when you don't seem to care.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji sits up straighter.]

What do you want me to do?

[He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again...what else is there?]

[masukukunai]

I don't want you to do anything, I just... I don't think you get it.

[eatsyourscience]

What don't I get?

[masukukunai]

[Oh, this is hard to explain. Mostly because it's embarrassing.]

I know you don't think... Well, whatever happened to you, was that bad. I don't know. Like it wasn't painful to you, or something.

But like--

[Just spit it out, Yousuke. Like ripping off a bandage.]

But like, you're the most important person to me here. Anywhere. Ever. I know things are weird here and death doesn't seem to stick, but if you were gone, forever, I don't know what I'd do. I'd be so... Empty. Like someone tore a chunk out of me.

[He sniffs a little.]

When you don't look like you care about what happens to you, it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job right.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji is quiet for a minute, taking that in, and taking in the fact that Yousuke made himself say it at all. He takes Yousuke's hand, twining their fingers together.]

I'm sorry. I'll be more careful.

[masukukunai]

[He takes a deep breath, and holds Souji's hand back.]

Do you know what love is yet?

[eatsyourscience]

I think so.

[masukukunai]

Tell it to me.

[eatsyourscience]

[He's quiet again, thinking of how to put this into words.]

When you're here with me, I feel warm inside and I can't explain where that feeling comes from.

When you got hurt, it was hotter, like a burn, and it wouldn't go away. I didn't know what to do.

[He stops, because he's not sure how that's different from friendship.]

...It's strange and it's overwhelming and I can't control it.

[masukukunai]

[If saying it himself was hard, listening was even harder. Maybe "hard" isn't the right adjective though. Overwhelming, like Souji said, that was better. Opening up and letting all that in; it was strangely painful, like it was squeezing his insides. The feeling of getting everything he wanted from another person...]

[His face is burning. He can't reply, because his throat is completely closed with that squeezing feeling. Yousuke barely manages to nod.]

[eatsyourscience]

...Is that not it?

[masukukunai]

[He shakes his head quickly.]

No. [Voice squeaking again God dammit.] No, that was pretty much it. Simple, but good enough. I think you've filled in the blanks.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji lets go of Yousuke's hand only to lean over and hug him.]

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke buries his head in Souji's shoulder and hugs him back tightly. The warmth spreads all over his body.]

Thank you. I'm glad you understand.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji nods.]

Me too.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke pulls away just a bit and brushes his nose against Souji's, wanting to kiss.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji obliges, leaning forward enough to kiss him.]

[masukukunai]

[Kisses, kisses! Yousuke never thought he'd enjoy this as much as he does, but what do you know.]

Don't ever leave here without me.

[Not literally all the time of course... Souji would understand.]

[eatsyourscience]

I don't intend to.