06. [action/voice/text]

[not_a_troll]

[Since his brother isn't answering all the messages he is sending him Loki finally gets out of his bed to go to him. It is not that he is able to avoid the conversation he needs to have with him. He walks through the hallway and stops in front of Thor's quarters, knocking the door a couple of times.]

Brother? Are you inside? We need to speak.

[When there is no answer he contemplates to walk back to his own room but instead he opens the door to take a look inside.

It is empty, except for a closet and a bed. As if this room has never belonged to Thor in the first place.]

Brother...?

[Eventually Loki leans against the doorway and stares into the room, arms crossed. He knows very well its useless to start a frantic search. Or ask any other denizen of Wonderland for help.

He lets out a long sigh and turns around to walk off. But that walk turns into a run and eventually he is racing through the hallway, finding his way to the attic and up to the roof. He should not cry, Loki did not cry, but this might be one of those exceptions because once the tears start rolling he is not able to stop them anymore.

He runs to that far end where you can sit and look out over the forests, leaving his communicator a couple of feet away from him. It is on, but the only sound others can hear is the wind and very soft sobbing in the distance.

His brother killed him and left without a word.]


[[OOC: Feel free to encounter him in the hallways/the roof or laugh at the gross sobbing he's doing. He got himself killed during the event when Thor slammed him into a wall and Loki kind of broke his neck there.]]

Comments

action.

[doesntmiss]

[It's the running that alerts Clint, more than anything, as he hears Loki dash through the hallway, past his door, toward the attic. There's nobody else out there.

He goes investigate. First, to the door that's still ajar a few feet up the corridor, and, well, that's not the most cheerful news, but to Clint it's just one of many things right now. For the kid, though. That's different.

As he gets to the attic, his steps are quiet, but audible. He doesn't move fast, waiting, first, for how Loki will react to him being there at all.]

Re: action.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki isn't even aware of of anyone following him. He is busy with wiping away tears and trying not to break down. Because that is not something Loki does.

He has almost climbed out of the window to take the shortcut to the roof when he hears footsteps behind him. For a moment he stills, turning to look over his shoulder.]

Who is there?

[His voice sounds a bit small and very miserable, still he manages to keep his words free from awkward trembles.]

[doesntmiss]

[Clint hesitates a moment before answering.]

It's Barton.

[He doesn't take another step forward, either, and tells him as much. His voice is more quiet than normal, too. A bit more rough, too. Something's taken its toll.]

I can leave, if you want.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki sighs and he wants to say something, or at least feign that things are not as bad right now, but he fails miserably when a sob makes it past his lips instead.

Its strange to want someone around and everyone to stay away at the same moment.]

You...

[He huffs again.]

...haven't seen my brother around...?

[doesntmiss]

No. [Funny, how a single two letter word can weigh like a ton of bricks.]

No, I haven't. Sorry.

[He does get a bit closer to the window, now. Crying children were just the worst.]

[not_a_troll]

He could at least...tell me goodbye.

[He clenches his fists and finally straightens his back.]

I am not angry with him.

[Finally he gets to that point that it has no use to wipe the tears away. And when he speaks his voice gets louder and a bit more frustrated.]

I want him back.

action

[blackflamed]

[Roofs are nice. They're very high up, and the wind gets in her hair. Sort of like crossing the bridge in her town. There's no river like home. No place under an overpass to stay. But this might not be so bad, and besides, she spent most of yesterday in the garden. By the fountain. Not smoking. Just flicking the lighter on and off.

Getting up here is easy. Getting back down is the problem. So she walks, shoeless (because she lost them somewhere up here and now she can't find them) around for awhile, and the next time she looks up there's some kid in green up here, too.

There's no fog anymore. It's all gone. Poof. But there's still traces of it. Like the smell of smoke on her clothes.]

It's really far down, huh.

[She's missing someone, too, you see. But the thing of it is that he wasn't here to begin with.

Might not have been there, either.

It's hard to say. So she doesn't.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki shifts when he hears a voice behind him, his hand creeping up to his mouth to keep the sobs to a minimum.]

Aye.

[He wipes his nose and eyes again, straightening his shoulders and rubbing the back of his neck. He isn't looking at the girl who is speaking to him.]

[blackflamed]

I wonder if anyone trips.

[Kerplunk.]

You know. And falls down.

[She's not completely oblivious. Just mostly. Sort of. A lot of the time.

Anyway, she can tell when people are upset. Really, she can.

But it's hard to talk about. So she doesn't.]

[doesntmiss]

This place... doesn't really let people get parting words in, looks like.

[Hell. It stings just to hear the boy like this. Finally, Clint climbs that roof, too.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki shrugs.]

Who knows. Who cares.

[not_a_troll]

[While Loki climbs the roof he returns to wiping his eyes again. The moment where he reaches the top he turns around.

He hesitates, debating if its wise to trust Clint. After all...Thor...
But Loki cuts that train of thoughts off immediately.]

He should know that...I hold no anger for what he did. He wasn't of reason, it was foolish of me to approach him.

I can't say this to him.

[Wasn't everything his fault to begin with?]

[blackflamed]

[She shrugs. Kicks a pebble or two off the roof. Watches them fall.]

They're probably gonna tell you it'll be okay.

[Like the narration said, not that oblivious.]

[doesntmiss]

[Clint, still at the edge of the rooftop, just crouches there for a bit. He won't approach abruptly. Doesn't want to, anyway.]

Wait, slow down. What did he do?

[not_a_troll]

Of course.

[There is a hint of sarcasm in his voice.]

Isn't that what they always say in films? 'Everything will be okay'.

[Nothing is going to be okay, and definitely not right now.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki huffs and wipes his eyes, taking a couple of steps back. He tries to make a right decision. But the words come out even before he could carefully think this over.]

He took my life...and left.

[doesntmiss]

[And for a moment there Clint just... just stares. Curses, barely audibly, under his breath.]

He-... [he what? But then Clint remembers.]

Because of the fog?

[blackflamed]

Yeah, something like that.

[She breathes and wishes she had a cigarette. She looks a sad sort of confused. Not like the end of the world. Like listening to a lecture in another language.]

They just have to say the lines. And when they're done, they go home, see?

[For awhile, they can pretend. Like the real world doesn't exist out there.

But it always comes back. Nothing burns all the way down. There are always ashes. And when they say the lines, they remember what it's like out there, just for a little while. And how hollow it sounds.

That's why it sounds real.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki nods shortly and turns around, walking a bit further onto the roof. He still remembers his brothers face quite well, even though he died. The last thing he has seen was his anger and his disappointment.]

...I do not know what to do.

[He sounds sincere, and he actually is. Because honestly, he really doesn't know what to do with all of this. It hurts.]

[doesntmiss]

[Clint follows, his steps habitually silent. He's not sure what to say, what to advise.]

Sorry.

[He's not that good with words.]

[not_a_troll]

It is a hollow phrase.

[Loki looks at her for a couple of seconds.]

Things are okay...when one decides they are. And they aren't.

[It crosses his mind again how much he misses his brother already. And that he longs to hear his voice.]

They aren't.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki walks up to the edge of the roof and sits down. He is at a loss. Slowly he pulls away his black hood and moves a hand through his hair afterwards.]

Do not be sorry.

[He moves his hand over that part of his neck that kept feeling rather stiff after he woke up.]

I do not deserve your apology.

[doesntmiss]

And why's that?

[He walks over. Finally sits down behind Loki, his side turned to the boy.]

You haven't harmed me in your life, kid.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki fights to not give in to self-loathing or bitterness, since those were the same emotions what turned his older!self into the horrible person he had been.

But it is surprisingly hard right now. He is in doubt if he is responsible for the fog when its obvious that it has been this realm's doing.

So he cries. The kind of crying where he is not able to stop his shoulders from shaking with every sob.]

[doesntmiss]

[Clint looks over to him, and doesn't know what to do. He just doesn't. He can't make himself give the boy a hug or anything like that, to be sure. So instead, he tries to find words. It's slow going.]

The fog wasn't your fault either. Thor... losing it like that. Not your fault. You know... I heard him. Didn't want to be anywhere near him though, not the way he was there.
Makes you a lot braver than me, you know. To try anyway.