06. [action/voice/text]

[not_a_troll]

[Since his brother isn't answering all the messages he is sending him Loki finally gets out of his bed to go to him. It is not that he is able to avoid the conversation he needs to have with him. He walks through the hallway and stops in front of Thor's quarters, knocking the door a couple of times.]

Brother? Are you inside? We need to speak.

[When there is no answer he contemplates to walk back to his own room but instead he opens the door to take a look inside.

It is empty, except for a closet and a bed. As if this room has never belonged to Thor in the first place.]

Brother...?

[Eventually Loki leans against the doorway and stares into the room, arms crossed. He knows very well its useless to start a frantic search. Or ask any other denizen of Wonderland for help.

He lets out a long sigh and turns around to walk off. But that walk turns into a run and eventually he is racing through the hallway, finding his way to the attic and up to the roof. He should not cry, Loki did not cry, but this might be one of those exceptions because once the tears start rolling he is not able to stop them anymore.

He runs to that far end where you can sit and look out over the forests, leaving his communicator a couple of feet away from him. It is on, but the only sound others can hear is the wind and very soft sobbing in the distance.

His brother killed him and left without a word.]


[[OOC: Feel free to encounter him in the hallways/the roof or laugh at the gross sobbing he's doing. He got himself killed during the event when Thor slammed him into a wall and Loki kind of broke his neck there.]]

Comments

action.

[doesntmiss]

[It's the running that alerts Clint, more than anything, as he hears Loki dash through the hallway, past his door, toward the attic. There's nobody else out there.

He goes investigate. First, to the door that's still ajar a few feet up the corridor, and, well, that's not the most cheerful news, but to Clint it's just one of many things right now. For the kid, though. That's different.

As he gets to the attic, his steps are quiet, but audible. He doesn't move fast, waiting, first, for how Loki will react to him being there at all.]

Re: action.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki isn't even aware of of anyone following him. He is busy with wiping away tears and trying not to break down. Because that is not something Loki does.

He has almost climbed out of the window to take the shortcut to the roof when he hears footsteps behind him. For a moment he stills, turning to look over his shoulder.]

Who is there?

[His voice sounds a bit small and very miserable, still he manages to keep his words free from awkward trembles.]

[doesntmiss]

[Clint hesitates a moment before answering.]

It's Barton.

[He doesn't take another step forward, either, and tells him as much. His voice is more quiet than normal, too. A bit more rough, too. Something's taken its toll.]

I can leave, if you want.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki sighs and he wants to say something, or at least feign that things are not as bad right now, but he fails miserably when a sob makes it past his lips instead.

Its strange to want someone around and everyone to stay away at the same moment.]

You...

[He huffs again.]

...haven't seen my brother around...?

[doesntmiss]

No. [Funny, how a single two letter word can weigh like a ton of bricks.]

No, I haven't. Sorry.

[He does get a bit closer to the window, now. Crying children were just the worst.]

[not_a_troll]

He could at least...tell me goodbye.

[He clenches his fists and finally straightens his back.]

I am not angry with him.

[Finally he gets to that point that it has no use to wipe the tears away. And when he speaks his voice gets louder and a bit more frustrated.]

I want him back.

[doesntmiss]

This place... doesn't really let people get parting words in, looks like.

[Hell. It stings just to hear the boy like this. Finally, Clint climbs that roof, too.]

action

[blackflamed]

[Roofs are nice. They're very high up, and the wind gets in her hair. Sort of like crossing the bridge in her town. There's no river like home. No place under an overpass to stay. But this might not be so bad, and besides, she spent most of yesterday in the garden. By the fountain. Not smoking. Just flicking the lighter on and off.

Getting up here is easy. Getting back down is the problem. So she walks, shoeless (because she lost them somewhere up here and now she can't find them) around for awhile, and the next time she looks up there's some kid in green up here, too.

There's no fog anymore. It's all gone. Poof. But there's still traces of it. Like the smell of smoke on her clothes.]

It's really far down, huh.

[She's missing someone, too, you see. But the thing of it is that he wasn't here to begin with.

Might not have been there, either.

It's hard to say. So she doesn't.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki shifts when he hears a voice behind him, his hand creeping up to his mouth to keep the sobs to a minimum.]

Aye.

[He wipes his nose and eyes again, straightening his shoulders and rubbing the back of his neck. He isn't looking at the girl who is speaking to him.]

[blackflamed]

I wonder if anyone trips.

[Kerplunk.]

You know. And falls down.

[She's not completely oblivious. Just mostly. Sort of. A lot of the time.

Anyway, she can tell when people are upset. Really, she can.

But it's hard to talk about. So she doesn't.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki shrugs.]

Who knows. Who cares.

[blackflamed]

[She shrugs. Kicks a pebble or two off the roof. Watches them fall.]

They're probably gonna tell you it'll be okay.

[Like the narration said, not that oblivious.]

[not_a_troll]

Of course.

[There is a hint of sarcasm in his voice.]

Isn't that what they always say in films? 'Everything will be okay'.

[Nothing is going to be okay, and definitely not right now.]

[blackflamed]

Yeah, something like that.

[She breathes and wishes she had a cigarette. She looks a sad sort of confused. Not like the end of the world. Like listening to a lecture in another language.]

They just have to say the lines. And when they're done, they go home, see?

[For awhile, they can pretend. Like the real world doesn't exist out there.

But it always comes back. Nothing burns all the way down. There are always ashes. And when they say the lines, they remember what it's like out there, just for a little while. And how hollow it sounds.

That's why it sounds real.]

text; if he gets no response, he'll switch to video ;o;

[forevercapslock]

HEY.

;A; gross sobbing ahem, I mean text

[not_a_troll]

[Loki replies, only eight minutes later.]

Hello

text;

[forevercapslock]

[Jeeez Loki, Karkat had just finished typing out a long-winded message and now he has to delete it because you actually answered.]

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE DYING.
WHAT HAPPENED?

Re: text;

[not_a_troll]

[Loki takes his time with messages, he's busy rubbing his eyes and trying to stop all the crying he's doing.]

I have been. Not anymore.

[Two minutes later a second message arrives.]

I am alive now.

text;

[forevercapslock]

GOOD.
DYING SUCKS.
WHAT HAPPENED?

Re: text;

[not_a_troll]

It seems Thor has left.

[That took him 6 minutes. He contemplates to tell Karkat the truth but, well, in cases like this it is definitely better to just don't say anything at all.]

text;

[forevercapslock]

WHO IS THOR?

action.

[redhourglass]

[Natasha doesn't do children crying. It's not her thing.

But this is different. This is a very specific child crying, someone she's been tracking for the last few days and been on the watch for - two different sides of herself warring over whether or not to approach or stay away. The part of her that was a master spy demanded that she get closer, the part of her that hated emotional displays by others screaming that she stay ensconced in her basement room, safe from any sort of awkward attempt at sympathy.

In the end, it was a mix of the former and another part of her personality she liked to forget existed that had her on the roof in moments, moving up behind him silently. It was only when she was a few feet away that she allowed her steps to become louder, on purpose.

She didn't want to scare him.]

action.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki is unaware of Natasha following him around or keeping an eye on him. He is still sitting on the far edge of the roof, slowly pulling his knees up and trying to make proper sense out of everything.

Not to cave in to disappointment, not to think he is the one to blame, not to lose faith in his brother. After all, he tried to help. All he did was trying to help.

There is nothing wrong with coming to someone's aid.

He notices the footsteps when he moves his hands through his hair while chewing his bottom lip. Quickly he glances over his shoulder and he wishes he could crack some witty remark at Natasha, but well, wit isn't his forte right now.

Loki remains silent, still chewing his lip to prevent more tears from coming out.]

action.

[redhourglass]

[She's going to take his silence as an indication that her presence isn't too unwelcome and close the distance between them, settling herself next to him carefully. Natasha is careful not to stare - instead she surveys the view before them, only offering him a passing glance as if he were part of the landscape.

It's awkward, this situation. Not knowing what to say. What did you say to someone, when their loved one was gone? That was, assuming that Loki loved Thor. He had to, right? Otherwise, he wouldn't be reacting this way.

After a moment, she ventured with:]

Thor wouldn't leave you on purpose.

[She'd at least surmised that much by the empty room she'd passed on her way up here.]

Re: action.

[not_a_troll]

[The thing she says hurts him and he cringes visibly. His hands move to rub his eyes again.]

I know.

[He hopes his brother would not ever remember what had happened here. There is a long silence before he speaks again.]

It is not comforting.

[He touches the back of his neck, rubbing it slowly, its still rather painful and stiff there. And while doing so he mutters something really soft and more to himself then anyone else.]

...I miss you.