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[The young woman who appears in the feed looks unimpressed, almost bored, as she faces the camera. The garden spreads out behind her, but her eyes are trained on a spot down and to one side, disinterested in the scenery.]

I didn't know I could still be used as a piece after that sacrifice gambit.

[She's quiet for a moment before her gaze flickers up to the camera and her brows draw together in an irritated frown. Her hair slides back over her shoulder and the cheap, pink hair ties that hold her half-pigtails in place click together.]

What does this mean? Did Oniichan win or did Beatrice? Why did another game start?

[A beat during which she is very likely tapping her foot. After a few seconds pass and she doesn't get an immediate answer from out of thin air, her expression smooths back into bored disinterest.]

I'll find my own way out, then. Sankyuu. Shi yuu ah-gen. [Her last words ("Thank you. See you again.") are spoken in heavily accented Engrish before she cuts the feed.]

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[Well, he's definitely not anyone she knows, so her suspicion that this is not, in fact, Rokkenjima is growing.]

Try surprising me anyway. [Come on, bro, tell her what's up.]

[He cracks his knuckles and decides to take that as a challenge.]

Alright so. This is Wonderland. It's some...other world thing, and no one knows how we got here, or how to get out. We're stuck unless this place decides to spit us back out - no one actually goes home on their own, just because they wanted to.

With me so far?

[She crosses her arms and leans back on the bench she's sitting on, settling in for what might be a long explanation.]

I'm following.

Good.

You can take whatever room you want, and they all have magic closets that give you whatever and the kitchens do that too. Basically, it's just to keep you happy until events happen. And when events happen I highly recommend just becoming a hermit in your new room for a while. They're terrible and sadistic and no one likes them, which means they happen semi-frequently. You'll spend most of your time alternating between being bored off your butt and never wanting anything to happen in your life again.

[He sounds so bored explaining all this weird magic and stuff, but don't worry. The mansion's terrors have left him dead inside, that's all.]

It's kind of like magic prison. In a big house. So, uh. Magic house arrest, I guess.

[Ange glances around as though to say "But I'm outside..."]

What is an event? It's a vague term.

[Eh. There's a mansion. She'll find it.]

That's because it's a vague...thing. Every other week-ish, this place inflicts something on us. Sometimes just the scenery changes, but most of the time something ridiculously awful and stupid happens.

Awful and stupid are subjective. Give me an example.

[He looks sort of offended that that wasn't enough for her.]

That's kinda hard, because they're all over the place. I got turned into a giant once, and we've had spooky fog a lot. Sometimes the whole world changes. You'll start getting it quick when you have to go through them.

[Ange's quiet for so long it might seem like she's forgotten she's even got the Once-ler on the line.

But at length, she speaks.]

What should I call you?

The Once-ler. I'm the Once-ler.

[He says it like he's expecting her to question the titleness of his name and is preemptively annoyed.]

And what should I be calling you?

[Ange is so used to people being "the witch of blah blah" that she doesn't even care.]

Ange is fine.

Alright then. Ange.

[He says it like he's testing it out to see if he likes it.]

So, uh. Anything else you want to know? I've kinda been here a while.

How long is a while?

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