+ The Moral of the First Story +

[pig_and_pepper]

[ A transmission, you see, must be like a song: Voice and instruments alike, playing its tune. Her instruments are the pans and pots, the clinking and clacking, the bubbling and boiling, the rustling of pages from the book of recipes in her hand. Truth be told, this particular song may be a little out of tune. ]

Mustard, custard, cream of eel. Salt and pepper, same old-- herrings?

[ Her eyes frantically dart across the pages- ] No, no, no! [ -searching line after line for the origin of this atrocity. ]

Here. 'Twas the wrong page in the right book, and you-- [ The Duchess turns sharply and glares, glares at-- at you. ] --could not even think to tell me sooner!

[ She rips page after page from her book, and stuffs them all into a big pot. ] Of course I'll start again, what choice do I have? But you had better do better this time!

Comments

[surpassedentropy]

[ Homura raises her eyebrows, slightly startled. Seems like the unhinged Duchess knows more than most. ]

My Duchess? [ She has to be a native resident of this place. Homura starts wracking her brain for what she can remember from the stories of Wonderland. ] I wouldn't know of any selfishness on your part, I was only curious to see what you would advise in order to do better. [ She definitely remembers pigs being a big deal when it came to the Duchess. ]

[pig_and_pepper]

Tch! My advice is to do it differently than the first time, how else would you do it in order to do better?

[ She waves her hand angrily. ]

It can hardly get worse still! Or can it...

[surpassedentropy]

[ Talk about being obtuse. Homura decides it's probably time for a new strategy. ]

It can always get worse. [ It's just a fact, she doesn't sound overly sad by it at the moment. ] What are you planning to do with what you're cooking?

[pig_and_pepper]

[ The Duchess has turned away now, engrossed in her culinary adventure. She hangs a strainer over the pot-- ]

Like your questions, foolish child, they get worse every time you ask another!

[ --and takes two cartons of juice from the fridge, pouring the contents of both through the strainer. ]

It will be served and then it will be eaten, and if it will be eaten before it is served then the whole ordeal will do no good at all! None!

[surpassedentropy]

[ She is not equipped for these whimsical shenanigans. Homura just frowns. ]

Using that logic, nothing will ever get better then.

[ Despite the demand for better from the Duchess. And now that Homura thinks about it, she doesn't remember seeing the Duchess before. Actually, most of the native residents of Wonderland show up just before an event occurs... ]

Why did you decide to show us your cooking today? Is something about to happen?

[pig_and_pepper]

Perhaps you might unask them in future, think on that with your logic!

[ Whimsy or shenanigans there may be none on the other end of the line, but the conversation seems to displease her all the same. ]

I, however, decided nothing, you decided to watch, and should we not choose to stand in place mute then of course something is about to happen, something always happens, even if it is merely nothing, nothing of interest I should say...