+ The Moral of the First Story +

[pig_and_pepper]

[ A transmission, you see, must be like a song: Voice and instruments alike, playing its tune. Her instruments are the pans and pots, the clinking and clacking, the bubbling and boiling, the rustling of pages from the book of recipes in her hand. Truth be told, this particular song may be a little out of tune. ]

Mustard, custard, cream of eel. Salt and pepper, same old-- herrings?

[ Her eyes frantically dart across the pages- ] No, no, no! [ -searching line after line for the origin of this atrocity. ]

Here. 'Twas the wrong page in the right book, and you-- [ The Duchess turns sharply and glares, glares at-- at you. ] --could not even think to tell me sooner!

[ She rips page after page from her book, and stuffs them all into a big pot. ] Of course I'll start again, what choice do I have? But you had better do better this time!

Comments

[watchthedetective]

It wasn't yesterday, though. It was just a few seconds ago.

[This seems like another warning, like the Red Queen had said, of another... crash, but this cook seems to be back to making very little sense. Is this one about food? Books? Redoing things?

Best to keep talking; Joan knows better by now than to just ask and expect a straight answer.]

[pig_and_pepper]

[ The Duchess sighs plaintively. ]

Time makes a fool of us all, ah, it has certainly fooled me!

[ She begins peeling away the lettuce leaves slowly. ]

But not you, not you at all, ah! You are far too observant for such nonsense! I will be as well, the next time, I do believe that, yes. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on me a second time, but that shan't happen...

[watchthedetective]

[Joan's definitely starting to see a theme here- time, and doing things better the next time around. Which still isn't a really concrete description, but at least sounds a lot less violent than some of them have been.

Maybe if she offers a little platitude of her own on the same lines, the response might be a little more informative?] Well, we live and learn.

[pig_and_pepper]

Or die and teach by example,

[ she adds cheerfully. ]

And that is precisely the moral of the story!

[watchthedetective]

[....okay, that's a lot less reassuring.]

I think I prefer the first option. Do you think that's likely to happen soon?

[pig_and_pepper]

Oh, indeed! Indeed, the sooner the better, my good friend, the sooner the better! Not- mhh, not today, mind. Perhaps not tomorrow either, they do say... I believe they say that it is better to put off further what you might do today or tomorrow, after all preparations are really quite exceedingly important, don't you agree?

[ This point is accompanied by her carefully folding the lettuce leaves in her hands and stapling them on top of each other slowly. ]