entranceway | 18th side; video

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18th side; video

So... This is an event, right? Everyone's acting so weird, and that lady that showed up before...

[Yousuke's been having a particularly hard time with this one. He has memories, years worth of memories here in the mansion that suddenly feel like they don't exactly line up, with what people have been telling him and the theories they've worked out. And yet what he knew before, memories of his world-- they had to be true. The emotions he had then and the emotions they caused now couldn't possibly be fake.]

[Terrible things had happened. Terrible things because he wasn't good enough. Strong enough.]

[He's acting completely different than usual. The normally cheerful, bold and pushy Yousuke has given way to a sullen and shifty-eyed individual. Depressed, and unsure, like he can't even trust the words coming out of his own mouth.]

We know everyone else isn't right, but we're convinced we're the same-- how is that possible? Are we being tricked?

[Very quickly, that mistrust turns into shaky anger.]

I don't-- I don't like being messed with! Don't fuck with me! I want answers!

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You... You...!

[Yousuke jumps Souji, pinning him to the floor, holding his arms down at either side. His eyes are wild, nostrils flaring in anger as he holds himself back from doing any worse.]

You had him in your grasp, and you didn't... Do you know what happens? The shadows came and there was nothing we could do! The fog and the shadows can't be stopped! The world is falling to pieces!

Everyone I called a friend I saw die! Chie and Naoto, Kanji, Rise, Yukiko, even Ted... They're all dead, and you could have stopped it, but you wanted to be a nice guy!

[Tears fall and patter on Souji's shirt. Yousuke shakes his head and gasps.]

I need you to fix what I got wrong! You're all I have left!

[Souji winces as his back hits the floor, though more because he knows he deserves this reaction than because it actually hurts. He's silent, letting Yousuke say his piece.

He had guessed what might have happened with the fog and the shadows, but he didn't know if stopping Adachi would change the outcome. He had no way of knowing. What if the two weren't related to begin with? What if the fog taking over was inevitable regardless of anything Adachi had done?

Either way, he let a murderer go free. Adachi might not have killed Yamano or Saki with his own hands, but their deaths had been the result of his actions. He was responsible and now so was Souji, for not doing what he knew he should have.]

....I'm sorry.

[He doesn't know what else he can say.]

Sorry... Sorry?

[Yousuke trembles with emotion as he holds Souji down, every fibre of his being completely convinced that this was all real. It was so hard to try and dissuade himself from believing this memory, that the pain was false, that what he saw meant nothing-- It didn't mean nothing. It was impossible, when he felt this knife in his chest now as clear as day...]

How could you? You betrayed us all! We always counted on you to make the right decision! Not give in to some stupid hope in a person you knew was a murderer!

[There's nothing Souji can say that will make this better. Any explanations or excuses will just dig a deeper hole for him to lie down and die in. He knows he was wrong--he knew it the minute Adachi started laughing in the interrogation room after he burned the note--and Yousuke's right. He betrayed all of his friends who had worked so hard to find the truth, not to mention the people who had died.

Tears well in his eyes and he looks away without speaking. There's absolutely nothing he can say.]

[Yousuke loses control and sobs. He gets off of Souji and moves away to lean against the wall, curl up and just cry. He doesn't want it to be true. He hopes it's not true. But the plain and simple truth is that he just doesn't know. He can't convince himself of anything... Not like this.]

[Souji finally sits up, wiping away the tears in his eyes. He doesn't have the right to cry. He hasn't gone through what Yousuke has.]

...What if we're both wrong?

[His voice is desperate. It's hard to imagine.]

...Of course I want that to be true. [He wipes at his face, tears snot and all, with his sleeves, running his hands through his hair again, all sorts of nervous tics and gestures.] But what I feel... It's not changing.

[Souji forces himself to move over to the wall and put his arms around Yousuke.]

...Same here.

[Yousuke tenses up for a second and his breath hitches, but...]

It's weird... I should hate your guts, but still...

[This feels right. At least, it was something that happened enough that his body felt used to it.]

I know I deserve it.

[Despite those words, Souji holds him more tightly.]

[...Slowly, Yousuke shakes his head.]

My mistake was just as bad. It was just for a different reason.

[Giving into anger instead of hopes of kindness.]

...It's the first time I ever yelled at you.

[It had taken a lot to get Yousuke to calm down. Under the circumstances, Souji's still not sure how he managed to stay calm enough to stop Yousuke, Kanji, and Naoto from killing Namatame.]

If you had been there, you would have yelled at me, too. Brought me to my senses.

I deserved it. I was out of my mind.

[He pauses, and looks up.]

Why wasn't I there? How did you keep it from me? From us?

...After we left the hospital, we went around trying to find new information. We even talked to Namatame about it all. But all of us were at Aiya, and we couldn't figure out anything new. [Souji's voice is vague, speaking his memories as they play through his mind.] Me and you and Naoto were outside and it started to snow and...I remembered the note.

The way it was written, it couldn't have been Namatame who wrote it. It was someone else, someone who could come to my house without anyone suspecting anything strange. And Adachi was over there all the time...

[His voice trails off and he's silent for awhile. As much as he betrayed everyone by helping Adachi, he was betrayed, too. And it was his own fault. Even though he spent so much time with Adachi, talking to him and learning about him, he got played just like everyone else did.]

[Leaving the hospital, going on a search, seeing the snow... no, he didn't have any of those memories. This was definitely where their paths separated.]

So you had a hunch, but you just didn't tell us? For how long?

[It was something even he or Naoto didn't figure out?]

...I never told you. Or anyone.

[Initially he'd kept it to himself because he wanted to ask Adachi himself, but then when he'd burned the letter...he couldn't tell anyone. And the longer he stayed quiet about it, the more impossible it became to broach the subject.]

...You were able to keep it a secret?

[The sense of betrayal in his voice is evident. He pushes away from Souji a little.]

What did that dumb cop ever do to deserve your misguided mercy...

[Souji lets his arms fall away from Yousuke.]

...I thought he was a friend. [He'd almost felt like family, at times.]

...One of those... bonds? That makes your personas stronger or whatever?

Yeah. But the person I thought he was was something I imagined.

[...]

[Yousuke doesn't know exactly how to respond to that. It's a mistake everyone makes-- a mistake we all fear making, because we don't want to lose something we care about.]

...You're dumb for destroying evidence. Giving him an out like that. Then no one can catch him.

[Souji's not sure what else he was expecting, but it's still like a physical blow to hear that.]

...I know.

So it's your responsibility now. If you don't want what happens in my future to happen to everyone... You have to figure out some way to stop it.

I don't even know how they're connected.

But he obviously does.

[Yousuke gives him A Look. Tie him up, point a gun at his head, I don't care. You'd rather let everyone suffer?]

18th side; video

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