001 Video Billy + Teddy

[hulk_ling]

[The video clicks on abruptly in the middle of a rather heated discussion. Billy and Teddy are seated on a couch, their legs tangled together as they sit on opposite ends. In both of their hands they hold a bowl of popcorn that they occasionally reach into, taking a few pieces and tossing them at the other person who opens their mouth and attempts to catch the popcorn. It looks like something they’ve done a thousand times before - sometimes they catch the kernels, sometimes it sails over their heads, and sometimes it bounces somewhere around their face, pausing their conversation as they laugh.]

[It’s Billy’s voice that the video cuts in on, their voices alternating in an old debate.]

No, no never, Hawkeye could totally shoot an apple off Black Widow's head from that distance, he's Hawkeye.

Why would she be standing there with an apple in the first place? Unless it's Attack of the Killer Tree Fruit, I doubt Black Widow would need help regardless of Hawkeye's ability to outshoot William Tell.

Maybe she lost a bet? [He pauses.] No, you're right she wouldn't be standing there with an apple. But he could still do it. Ok, who haven't we done in a while? Oh I know Captain America without the shield vs. Thor without the hammer?

[Teddy crunches on some popcorn, thinking.]I know you love Cap but I’m going to go with Thor on that one. He’s an Asgardian! He didn’t need super-steroids to power up, again, no offense to Cap. Thor hits him without that shield, it’s going to hurt.

But in hand to hand? When Thor is so used to fighting with weapons? I don't know, I think my money would be on Cap. And what do you mean I Love Cap, Mr. Captain America is my favorite Avenger? [He tosses a few kernels at Teddy.]Your turn.

[Teddy tried to snap the popcorn out of the air and only succeeded in having them bounce off his forehead.] It’s because I love Cap that I’m able to talk truth. A Thor punch would definitely hurt. But, I’ll give you that it would be one hell of a fight. Ok. How about this - Tommy at half-speed and Kate with a nerf gun.

[Billy didn't even pause.]Kate. That was easy, go again.

[Teddy laughed and tossed a few pieces at Billy’s head.] I’ve got one - this is tough - Falcon versus a Falcon/Shark hybrid. Right? That would be the best. I mean, sharks that can fly? I’m surprised there isn’t a movie about it yet.

[Billy laughed trying to catch them in his mouth, grinning when he succeeded.] How would you get a falcon/Shark hybrid? Are we talking Falcon's DNA or just putting a jet pack on a shark? Also what do you think- wait, you haven't seen Sharknado have you?

Sharknado? Wait… is that a Shark in a … tornado? They made a movie of that and I haven’t seen it? I’m surprised the world hasn’t collapsed in on itself right this very second.

It's hundreds of sharks in multiple tornados. They are making a sequel. I mean, it's not as epic as piranhaconda, but it's up there in horrible acting.

A sequel? That’s it. B, you are showing me every horrible movie made that I’ve missed. I need this in my life.

Bad movie marathon? You don't have to talk me into that. Sharktopus vs Pteracuda needs to be watched too. And of course Piranhaconda.

Should we invite other people? Because odds are with us… in the dark… I don’t know how much movie I’m going to be watching.

[Billy laughed and threw another piece of popcorn at him, smirking when it bounced off his head.]You have a one track mind. We should. Wonderland bad movie marathon?

[Teddy wrinkled his nose and threw a handful of popcorn at Billy, moving the bowl off his chest so he could sit up.] That sounds like a great idea. You know another good idea? Speaking of one track minds…

[Teddy reached over and kissed Billy softly, his hand blindly putting the popcorn bowl on the small table in front of them. There was a clattering sound and the video suddenly tilted as Teddy knocked the device off the table.]

I’ll get that.

[The video rights itself again only this time it’s focused on Teddy’s face as he stares at the screen, a bit confused.]

Uh, Billy, do you know how long this thing has been on?

I didn't turn it on. [He moves over to Teddy peering at the screen. Well if everyone already heard.]

Ok Wonderland you're all invited to a bad movie marathon. Let us know if you want in and we'll tell you when.

{OOC: Billy and Teddy will reply to tags jointly following an a->b->c order.}

Comments

[impalementarts]

[This...well this is enough to throw him out of his funk. Hawkeye stares at the feed for a moment.]

...I can shoot anything off anyone's head and take out someone directly attacking them. What kind of distance are we talking about?

[hulk_ling]

From the SHIELD Helicarrier that was hovering over Times Square - while being attacked by the Skrull.

[Teddy glanced over at Billy and shrugged.]

I still don't know why Black Widow would just stand there with an apple on her head.

[heirtotheshield]

... Sharks in tornadoes?

[ He's not touching Cap vs Thor, but Cap would totally win, shut up. ]

[hulk_ling]

Sharks in tornadoes.

[Teddy emphasizes every word.]

The future is a beautiful place. I think... I might cry when I watch this movie. It may happen.

[whele]

[Blankest stare. He barely understood any of that, but a couple of things stuck out to William.]

Sharktopus? Sharknado? Are those actually things?

[hulk_ling]

Yes. They are actual things that exist for watching. And it's an amazing world we live in that someone actually put them on film.

[Teddy is far too excited about the thought of watching these bad movies that he is being a touch over dramatic.]

[Video]

[voiceinthedark]

Oh cool, that sounds amazing! I'd love that! It sounds brilliant.

Re: [Video]

[actualwizard]

[Theres a big grin on Billy's face because bad movies are his favorite.]

Great! Let us know of you have any recommendations or requests.

video;

[hyperkinesia]

Now we all know what you talk about when you're left to your own devices.

[ And by 'you', he means your whole group. ]

Sharknado is the best worst movie.

Re: video;

[actualwizard]

That was nothing, we once had a very long debate about who would win in a science fair, Tony Stark, Reed Richards, or you.

[They were really the apitome of cool, really.]

It really is. Does that mean you'll be joining us? I'm going to see if the closets will give me the sequal.

[sorryitasedyou]

[Oh. My. God.]

Wait, are you guys really planning on watching Sharknado or are you just teasing?

[Because Sharknado...]

[actualwizard]

We would never tease about something as awesome as Sharknado.

[Because Sharknado is the best.]

[video]

[assembles]

[Given that Steve's been victim to Wonderland's propensity to film without warning all too recently, he doesn't really hold any of this against them. It's a little odd that these two sit around and talk about hypothetical fights between the Avengers, but...

He may as well weigh in.]

Thor packs a pretty big wallop. [Steve offers a strained smile.] I think I may be able to give him a run for his money, but I don't know that I could actually win against him without the shield, even if he doesn't have Mjolnir.

[Thor's strength is on a whole other level. It's a good thing they're allies and not enemies.]

Is it a pastime of yours to talk about stuff like that?

[He'll just politely ignore all the comments about them both being fans of his. It's a lot easier to just behave as if they're allies, rather than getting into the I'm-you're-biggest-fan stuff.]

Re: [video]

[actualwizard]

[It is embarrassing to be caught talking about people here, but at the same time Billy is used to people looking at him and Teddy strangely. Especially when half the time Teddy is big and a green. Plus, it's not every day Captain America can actually weigh in on their crazy debates.]

Ok, I guess I can concede that battle to Thor. [He smiles kind of sheepishly.]

It is actually. That's how we became friends. In our world we grew up watching The Avengers save the world over and over, and reading comics about it. Hard not to be a fan, even after we became Avengers ourselves.

[Don't worry Steve, Billy usually doesn't fanboy to someone's face, unless he's accidentally recorded.]

[Video]

[possiblymad]

[Why... was he even doing this? Curiosity? Stupidity? The fact that some part of him from that other life was happy to see the pair getting along romantically had nothing to do with it and he would deny that to the bitter end. The bitter, frozen end to his very lengthy existence.

He has already raised a skeptical eyebrow by the time the video starts, looking at the pair on the screen. Let him just continue living up to his legacy of making all the wrong decisions.]

My brother, even sans Mjolnir, is still a force of nature. Take the word of someone who has faced him with and without his weapon. Now, the green mon--[He stopped mid word and recollected his thoughts and wording for the sake of diplomacy.]--the Hulk could certainly give my brother a run for his title in terms of strength.

[But he was not touching that movie night offer with a ten foot pole, for so many reasons. The strange creatures, however?]

What are these abominations of which you speak? I know not how one could find pleasure in observing them in your films. [Cue confused Asgardian brow crease. He'd already forgotten 'that' part of being a human teenager.]

[actualwizard]

[ If Billy was surprised at the face that appeared on the screen he didn't say anything, even as Teddy tensed beside him.] We've never been able to decide who would win that battle. I say Thor, Teddy always says The Hulk.

[ Amusement played over Billy's face at Loki's confusion. The teenaged version of the Asgardian would have loved the movies. ] You mean you can't see the value of entertainment a shark octopus hybrid would cause?

video;

[superagent]

Are you boys from Kate's world? The one who's here?

[ He remembers meeting the littlest Hawkeye or at least a girl claiming to be Hawkeye. He's still pretty curious about that whole thing and he's going to follow any leads that might fall in his lap. ]

Re: video;

[actualwizard]

[It takes Billy a moment to place Phil. He's not very familiar with him in his world, he just knows he's a Shield Agent. ] We are. Billy and Teddy, or Wiccan and Hulkling. [He gestured to both of them.] Which ever you prefer.

You've met Kate?

[luckynumberthree]

Your world has movies about Sharknados?

[ Simon is delighted. He misses terrible movie marathons. Despite having lived through one. Not at all the same. Stupid zombies, interrupting his timeline before he got amazing works of art like Sharktopus vs Pteracuda. ]

I am in. When and where is this happening?

[actualwizard]

It has two movies about Sharknados, only I haven't seen the second one yet.

[Seriously Simon, you are missing out.]

Our room, I think. We haven't ironed out the details yet.

[Video]

[widows_kiss]

[ There's almost too much information here for her to know where to start teasing them, but Billy and Teddy always seem good for this. Either way, there's one she just can't resist poking at and she flips on the video feed with a bit of a smirk. ]

An apple? That's way too easy on him. At least make it challenging, like a grape or something.

Re: [Video]

[actualwizard]

A red grape or a green grape?

[This was an important question. Green grapes were easier to see.]

[intelligently]

You could get any movie you wanted and you're choosing bad movies?

[hulk_ling]

Why not choose a bad movie? Bad movies can sometimes be so bad they're amazing. Never knock a terrible movie. There's a fine art in creating something so bad.

video;

[mph]

[ Oh wow you two are just jerks. ]

Wow, this is what you're doing while I'm trying to get us work? Talking trash without me and making a public porno? Not cool, guys, not cool.

And PS you're so wrong, me at half-speed is still way faster than Kate and her killer aim.

video;

[actualwizard]

[ Billy can't resist... ]

Did you want to make a public porno with us?