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[Jefferson toys with the idea of publicly announcing his arrival for a long while. He had lived too long a hermit outside the fringes of Storybrooke society, and the idea of rejoining the thriving masses does not sound very appealing to him. Besides, there are other dangers to consider. Would the Queen of Hearts still be looking for him? Is the same Queen even in regency? He knows full well that nothing ever remains the same in Wonderland, and to expect the same as when he was here before would be absurd. He finally decides it is worth the risk.

How could he flush out his target without causing some sort of stir?

The video begins with Jefferson facing the camera directly, hands folded calmly in front of him and a darkened room behind him. He smiles easily, but there's something a little nervous in his demeanor. As far as anyone knows, he is new to Wonderland after all. A certain amount of uncertainty is to be expected. Little does anyone suspect how much time this man has spent in this nonsensical place. Or, at least, a fair facsimile thereof.]

Greetings, residents of Wonderland. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Jefferson, and I am a merchant by trade. Mostly rare fungi, but occasionally I dabble in trinkets... and hats. [He pulls a black silk hat into view of the camera briefly to illustrate his point.] I seem to have lost something of mine, and I wonder if any of you have seen it. It's about the size a breadbox. Cylindrical. Soft. Shabby-looking, I'm afraid, but very sturdy. If you feel you have found it, please contact me. I would hate for my something to cause a problem for anyone, so the sooner it can be back in my hands, the better.

[The smiles comes back, a little wider and more confident.]

And now Wonderland, I must ask you a very important question....

How do you take your tea?

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Much obliged. I would grow a little garden here if I could but I half fear asking the wardrobe for seeds. with Wonderland's sense of humor, there is no knowing what will grow from those.

[ alas. ]

[Jefferson isn’t entirely wrong in his observations, although he has no way of knowing that just yet. Neal doesn’t want to bring it up, but he can’t help but think how the last few events seem to have gone screwy; aside from that really mundane one with the hot springs, everything since December or so has lingered somehow. Things didn’t go back to the way they should be straight away, which had been why he ended up camping out in the basement way longer than he wanted.

Still, no matter how at ease the guy seems to be with everything he’s heard so far, Neal’s not telling that to a brand new arrival. Not to mention that Jefferson brings up something else that’s pretty interesting; other people talk about wanting to leave, but not that many mention methods how, and definitely not those. The question is, just how much does Neal want to reveal to this guy, given that their last few arrivals haven’t exactly fallen on the heroic side of the line?]

Never is. There aren’t even any magic beans floating around. [In the end though, it’s a risk he’s got to take. It’s not like Jefferson won’t figure out there’s people from stories around, or from Storybrook if it turns out he’s from the same world. And with Zelena making power plays, it’s better to figure out what side this guy’s on now rather than later.]

A thief. I stole rare trinkets and objects for a select group of clientele who paid me rather handsomely for my services.

[He doesn't want to ask. He doesn't want to continue this conversation and give Regina more opportunities to lie to him or try to trick him. It's Jefferson's own fault that he keeps falling for it again and again... but before he can stop himself, the words come out on their own.]

And what might that be?

[Look at this face. He's sick of your games, your highness.]

Edited 2015-05-15 06:52 (UTC)

[Jefferson tries to keep his tone friendly, but there's a vague edge of annoyance] You think you know who I am? Have we met? I think I would remember a guy like you.

[He sees that suspicion, and he imagines that this guy probably has read the Hatter's story. Or at least some variation thereof. Only Henry's book told things the way they actually happened.]

But in answer to your question, yes. I have been to other aspects of Wonderland before. Twice, as a matter of fact. It's a little different every time.

Edited 2015-05-15 07:00 (UTC)

[There's something ironic in that Jefferson is both asking for information from a kid and also is believing what he says with very little hesitation. But Jefferson knows Henry believed all the stories with the same conviction that Jefferson knew they were true. Henry was the only other person who knew about the Queen's curse and was the one to set the wheels in motion for it to be broken-- If there is anyone to be trusted to have good information, why not the savior's son?]

Your mother brought us to Storybrooke with her curse. Is this another trick of hers, or someone else at work?

[and the pressing question] Who else from our world is here?

Eating any food native to Wonderland is taking your safety into your own hands. I can't imagine that gifts from the wardrobe(...?) would fair much better. [He hasn't quite figured out how this "asking the wardrobe for things" works yet, but a couple people have mentioned it] I doubt it is worth the risk.

But if I find any that is free from malice, whom may I call upon to offer a cup of peppermint tea?

Edited 2015-05-15 07:23 (UTC)

Is that so? Then there was a time when you and I may have been rivals.

I chose to hang up my hat for personal reasons, but I cannot help but be interested in what trinkets you might have found. Professional curiosity, you might say. Ever come across a pair of silver slippers? Those were the ones that got away.

[Jefferson has made a long career out of trying to escape from one place to return to another, Wonderland included. It would be remiss of him to not already be thinking about ways to get back home again. He'd 28 years trying to get out of Storybrooke, and now all he wants is to get back. Being unable to approach Grace out of fear of rejection is one thing, but being pulled apart from her again by a curse and across the distance of another world... that is something else entirely.

He clenches his jaw, anger spiking briefly at his own powerlessness.]

Magic beans. Aren't those extinct?

[It occurs to Steve that he's not exactly remembering his manners right now, thrown off by someone sharing Bucky's face like this.

He's not suspicious so much as confused as to why some fairytale character looks like his best friend, but Steve forces himself to slow down a little and explain.

He smiles a tight, apologetic smile.] Sorry. It's just... you look a lot like someone I know. And when I say a lot like, I mean exactly like. [It would be enough to make anyone kind of frazzled.]

But I also happen to know that most of the people from Storybrooke are fairytale characters of some kind. That, tea, and hats... it's not too hard to guess.

[But correct him if he's wrong.]

[Guy doesn’t look happy, but then again, does anyone ever when they hear they’re trapped here? What’s more important to Neal is what he says about the beans; for most people that’d just be a joke, bitter humor about one fairytale to reflect the fact that somehow they’ve been trapped in another. And even for the ones who take it seriously, Neal’s gotta guess that there’re only so many places where the supply of beans has dwindled down to the point that they really are only things of stories now.]

Pretty sure they are—in the Enchanted Forest, anyway. [So he makes the leap, figuring that the odds are on his side.] Sounds like we might be from the same universe, which means you probably know some people around here. Regina, Rumplestiltskin, Emma Swan…

[Those are probably the big three Neal could expect anyone from their realm to recognize. Might as well see how he reacts to that much information first, then figure out where to go from there.]

[Instead of asking 'why would my mom bring people here from places she doesn't even know?,' Henry just shakes his head.]

Nope. She has no idea how or why we're here. Oh, and when we leave, we won't remember. I've been here three times, and I don't remember. But people knew who I was before I ever met them.

[As for the other question...]

Emma and Rumplestiltskin. And people I don't know if you ever met: Robin Hood, Killian Jones, and my dad, Neal. His dad is Mr. Gold. Oh, and...there's Zelena...

['Rumplestiltskin' is too much to keep saying. And he trails off a little at Zelena's name.]

[Oh, but we're just getting started, Hatter.]

Why, [And she laughs.] memories, of course. Granted, the curse is long since broken and you're hardly alone in having two lives in your head...

[She clearly has to be going somewhere with this.]

But you have more reason than most to clear a few out, don't you?

Can't say that I have come across silver slippers but I daresay they would be a pretty sight to see. [Now Bela was the one to be curious about the kinds of things that he has come across in his time as a merchant.]

I came across a lucky rabbit's foot once, worth a lot of money to the right buyer. Unfortunately, the involvement of others made the foot lost to me and I couldn't collect that money.

I've found anything from jewel encrusted daggers to incredibly rare paintings. Every day was different.

I'd say it depends on the tea.

[ Kol's more curious about what problems his possessions may be stirring up for others. ]

What is it exactly that you've lost?

That's a good answer. Most people treat all teas equally, or think it's all the same. It's a shame, really.

[He reaches off screen to fidget with something just out of view, and he chuckles softly]

If I wanted to state explicitly what it was I've lost, I would have. But if you'd like [he places the silk hat on top of his head at a skewed angle] I can give you a hint.

[Jefferson hadn't though about this in a while. He has better things to worry about these days, but no harm came from a little reminiscing ....yeah, right.]

I've seen my fair shore of paintings and daggers. Weapons are a popular target, but the trinkets tend to be more valuable. A crystal ball, a pair of shoes, a pocket watch... [The look on his face suggests that he regrets bringing that one up, and he very nearly ends the conversation right there.] There's a lot of weird stuff out there that people will pay anything for.

What was so special about that rabbit's foot? Must have been some rabbit. [He's not had much luck with those creatures in the past]

Whichever pleases you most. [it's a hard storybrooke life, honestly.]

I trust you remember the Wicked Witch of the West.

[after all, he'd sent him to Oz to steal the damned woman's shoes and to avoid going there himself. Cowardice when it's practical is all right.]

You are not a stranger to this realm.

[ an observation not a question. how curious. ]

miss Elphaba, as it happens. Miss Elphaba Thropp of a realm named Oz, if you ever heard of it.

[That's the truth, and one of the many reasons why Jefferson is only known by one name. He's uncomplicated like that.]

She's a hard person to forget. [haha of course he remembers. As if he has any choice but to remember everything. However, he does have distinct memories of that particular trip to Oz being a particularly lucrative transaction even if he only returned with half of what he'd gone in for.

...wait.] Don't tell me that she's the situation.

"Exactly" like? I don't have any brothers, so I find that pretty unlikely. [Although that wasn't strictly true, as far as he knew, but it's true enough for this conversation.] Are you sure?

[He regards the apologetic smile with a somewhat skeptical expression, but the next statement sparks his interest.]

And you believe it? All that stuff about fairytale characters in the "real" world? [The question comes off sounding incredulous and frustrated. Jefferson's gotten used to just being written off as crazy and/or ignored for saying things like that.

But he's also not going to correct the assumption.]

[This guy managed to pick three names Jefferson is most familiar with (for better or worse) of all the inhabitants of Storybrooke. And if Neal thought Jefferson looked unhappy before, that is nothing compared to the expression on his face now.]

We've met. [Although it may be hard to tell which of the three he's referring to]

But you and I haven't, Neal. Why is that?

[Kid, Jefferson doesn't know why your mother does anything. Why drag him from Wonderland and into Storybrooke and leave him cursed to remember both lives? She'd already beaten him, and he was useless to her without magic. Apparently, she just really loved to torture him. Who knew why?]

Like someone you've never met looking you right in the face and calling you your fairytale name. That much I get. [but not remembering a forced trip to Wonderland after you leave it? What a blessing.]

[So this isn't Regina's fault after all. Being disappointed in that news doesn't change the fact that he is still stuck back here... and with that list of names, Jefferson's face falls into a sour expression. This is going to be a troublesome imprisonment.

He tries to recover at least a little. Can't blame the bearer of bad news.] Quite the illustrious set of grandparents you have.

[The worst part about it is how tempting the offer sounds. That never, ever boded well. Especially coming from Regina. Especially with the tone of that laugh.

While it is true that ever since the curse was broken, everyone had the burden of two lives worth of conflicting memories... but he had quite the head start on the other residents of Storybrooke. A head start that had taken a heavy toll. He shifts uncomfortably.]

If it won't help, why would I risk it? [risk losing a memory he can't afford to be without. Of Grace. Of his family. If you're trying to make a point, your highness, you're losing him. Tricked one too many times, and he suspects this time is no different.]

Not a native either. Just a traveler who would rather have never come back to this place.

[...now that is an curious statement to make as well.]

A pleasure to meet you, Miss Elphaba. I've heard of Oz. I even went there on a business trip. Took the time to see the Emerald City. It's just as green as they say.

Edited 2015-05-18 08:11 (UTC)

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