LOG DATE 7 16 2 [AUDIO]

[slapfight]

[when this message begins broadcasting, it’s very clear the person responsible has NO IDEA this is actually transmitting to a large population. in fact, the shrill voice just sounds like she’s calmly- possibly too calmly- talking to herself.]

Log Date Seven-One-Six-Two.

I seem to have found myself- inexplicably- in some sort of bizarre, unstable dimension. The primary population appears to be Earth humans, though they refer to themselves by specifications rather than the traditional names that humans identify themselves by. What’s more is these humans do not find rain to be…. pleasant, and would prefer to stand in awful, cramped conditions, rather than be out in it.

Earlier I drew the conclusion that these may not be humans at all, but rather some sort of strange herd creature that greatly resembles a standard Earth human. However, before I could test this hypothesis, something happened and I found myself in this strange, and thankfully, much more sizable Earth dwelling, which I am having trouble rationalizing, beyond that clearly the reality of this place is in some sort of state of flux. However, this is purely speculation and that suggests it’s more a fault in my perception of reality, than the reality itself.

As to why I am here, rather than back at the temple, or why this dimension exists, or if any of it is, in fact, real, and I am not so given to my current madness that my vision spheres cannot be trusted…. [a small, pained gulp] I have no idea. I can only continue to document my findings and hope that if the Crystal Gems discover this after I’ve well and truly gone far beyond being helped, they’ll remember that my destruction was entirely their fault.

This is Peridot, further tilting towards madness, signing off for now.

[and the feed clicks, so she can… curl up on the floor in a fetal position and cry for a moment, not realizing that PEOPLE HAVE HEARD THIS.]

Comments

[rosswood]

You're in Wonderland? And it's winter? Y'know, the four seasons?

[She seems...genuinely surprised about this. Oh geez. Is she like actually an alien because he was prepared to laugh at it he was not prepared to take actual responsibility for that

responsibility is scary okay]

Do, uh, do you have those where you come from?

[slapfight]

I know the name of this planet. [defensively, as if she has to defend the one thing she does know, even if she doesn't understand it.]

We don't have anything like that on Homeworld. And I haven't experienced a-

[by now she's started walking towards the front door to see this for herself, and when she shoves it open and sees the snow on the ground, she gasps.] ...Oh my stars.

[well at least her curiosity has distracted her from the fact that she's stranded on ANOTHER stupid planet with similar patterns to Earth and the cluster is going to kill the planet she betrayed Yellow Diamond to protect. Her life is a series of pointless incidents. But at least she has science.]

[rosswood]

It's not really a planet. More like a...uh, a place.

[Okay, so he doesn't have a big word for it but no one else explained that either, they just said you couldn't LEAVE and that's not likely to make Pi here feel any more at ease. He doesn't know what would make her feel more at ease, on account of her being a rock...alien...thing.]

Uhh, yeah, so that's snow. You've seen snow, right? It's cold and squishy and don't eat it, seriously. That's bad news bears.

[slapfight]

Every place is on some sort of planet. [it was not snowing in beach city at any point during her time on Earth, but she's distracted from his explanation by testing it in her hands.]

Frozen liquid. [he can see her squint up at the sky.] That makes sense. Atmospheric conditions and temperature fluctuations could change the state of the absorbed water so that when it falls back to Earth, it's in a new form.

[she's mostly talking to herself at this point, but as she dumps the snow out of her free hand, she still looks mildly disgusted.] At least one thing around here makes sense.

[rosswood]

[nerrrrrrrrd

but yeah she's totally right]

I dunno if it really counts as Earth. I mean, it looks kinda like it? But there's stuff that's, uh, different. Like, um. The mirrors. And the fact that no one can leave. And the events. And, uh. Wait.

[Hang on, she's the sort of person who likes information and official stuff, right? Definitely.]

Gimme a sec.

[Information...sending.]

[slapfight]

This is an extremely informal analysis.

[no shit, p-dot. she seems deeply troubled by it- probably because a lot of it she DOES NOT COMPREHEND. ugh stop defaulting to Earth language, you plebes. check your privilege. and beyond that, everything else is illogical and stupid.] But I suppose it will be sufficient if I'm going to be stuck here.

[alone. again. no homeworld. no crystal gems. why must this always happen to her, the great and wonderful peridot???] It's not as if I'm going to have anything to go back to, anyway. There's no way the Crystal Gems are going to save the Earth without me.

[her tone almost contains genuine sorrow amidst her annoyance. she doesn't really... want Earth to die and she doesn't want the Gems to be shattered, but what can she do? She was stranded on Earth for unseemly amount of rotations without ever successfully contacting Homeworld. How's she supposed to fix this? That's enough to make even the toughest gem crack and she never claimed to be a tough gem. She's not made to be tough. She's made to be logical and she's stuck in a place where logic has no meaning.

Ugh.]

[rosswood]

Yeah, but it covers all the basics.

[The Crystal Gems. Is this rock for real. Who is he kidding of course she is.

He feels a little bad about it, cause obviously she's stuck trying to assign logic to a place that really has none to speak of. But still, there are plenty of nerds here, right? They don't have any problems with finding neat nerd shit to look at. But they're also human, so.]

Well, uh, if it makes you feel better, sometimes people get sent back. Kiiiind of without warning, but it's been known to happen.

[slapfight]

Greeeaaat. [exasperated sigh.] So it may not make sense in a way that's useful to me. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?

[aside from figure out how to get back, but she's certain that's going to be a moot point. it's all she has. there's no kindergarten to distract herself with. she's not like the other Crystal Gems- she still has to rely on what she was made to do, beyond a few indulgences every now and then.]

[rosswood]

Kick back and relax? And try not to die. You lose stuff if you die.

[He could console her by saying there's plenty of nerd stuff here to do but he doesn't actually know what that stuff is. Does he look like a nerd. Heck no.]

There's a library, if you're into that sorta thing. Might even find stuff from...wherever you come from. Is everyone rocks where you're from?

[slapfight]

[scoff] That won't be a problem.

[as if anyone on this dirt bomb of a psuedo planet knows how to kill a Gem. she has a lot of questions, but she knows he doesn't know a lick about what she needs to know, so she just has to bite her tongue and move on.] And the correct term is Gem.

[that's a yes.]

[rosswood]

Right, rightrightright. Gem. You are a real gem, you know that?

[lmfaooooo. he even does some fingerguns.]

I gotta say, I haven't seen any other talking rocks. Though I guess if any others show up you'll know. We gotta whole network thingy.

[slapfight]

[i am peridot's blank stare of "no."] That's exactly what I said.

[she might actually be being deliberately obtuse on that one, because puns. they're only cute when amethyst or pearl do them excessively.]

Convenient. I'll have to monitor this network for any sign of them.

[that's going to be fun for her... and everyone else.]

[rosswood]

Well, there you go, that's one thing to do.

[Look on the bright side here, right!!

nvm he's not very good at that.]

So you do know that everything you post here goes public, right?

[slapfight]

Indeed. I was... [shifty eyes] disoriented from multiple abrupt shifts in location with no warning. Of course I know the difference between a simple recording device and a communications device.

[rosswood]

Oh. Well now you know that.

[Yeah he's really not that good at the whole "welcome to the shitshow" thing. At least she's pretty distinctive so he'll definitely know if he sees her again.]

Anywho. I guess I'll see ya, rockface.

[slapfight]

It's Peridot, you... [SHE ONLY KNOWS GEM INSULTS HELP] you Earth clod.

[rosswood]

[He bites his lip to try to keep from laughing again - how old is she, seriously? She looks like a freaking toddler - and fails miserably.]

Hey, I just forgot. I'll be sure to, uh, keep that in mind.

[slapfight]

[SHE IS A PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE 200-1000 YEAR OLD GEM, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. hah.]

Yeah. You do that. You don't want to see the true power of an enraged Gem. [SO THREATENING. like an angry cat. especially since the best weapon at her disposal is she can slap things really hard.

or idk build a robot out of scrap to fight her battles. it's touch and go.]

[rosswood]

What'll you do, nerd me to death?

[He shrinks back, raising both hands in mock terror.

Not the world's best comeback, granted, but he's just...having a real hard time taking any of this seriously. Sorry, Peridot.]

[slapfight]

Why would I give up the element of surprise?

[that would be menacing if she were... menacing.]

[rosswood]

[ . . .

riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Real threatening.]

Very intimidating. I'm shakin' in my vans.

[slapfight]

Keep mocking me, human, if you must. But I'd sleep with one vision sphere open, if I were you.

[it's clear she's just

determined to get the last word here.]

[rosswood]

[Vision sphere is this for real.

Alex simply nods, fighting to keep his snickers to himself until he ever-so-slowly reaches over to his phone and

switches the feed off.]