002 ↯ video

[circlejerked]

Um. All right, no one panic, but I may have underestimated these magic closets of ours and accidentally... done something.

<sub>[Anders' voice, sounding contrite. In the background, an unremitting stream of noise threatens to drown him out--it's meowing, rising and falling at different pitches like a tone-deaf a cappella group trying to harmonize and failing miserably.

The camera settles unsteadily on the hem of his robes before he sets it down and steps back. The source of the caterwauling then becomes apparent: in his arms are four young cats of various shapes and color, two tucked under each arm.

By the sounds of it, more are audible off-screen. Many, many more.]</sub>

I wasn't thinking... Well, I was, I was thinking how much more homey this place would be with a cute cat or two, and then--and then they were just there, and everywhere, and now there are a few more than two. If you have cat allergies, stay off the fourth floor.

_{[As if on cue, a kitten on stubby legs capers across the floor behind him. Anders, noticing movement on the screen, squints closely for a second, then looks for the real thing over his shoulder.]}

One's making a run for it. Alistair! Alistair, catch it, my hands are full.

_{[From somewhere off among the caterwauling comes a response, the owner appearing shortly after--]}

I see it!

_{[Alistair runs past in the background, two cats under one arm and what is presumably another squirming about down his shirt. He comes back into view a moment later, the escapee cradled in his free hand. Shoving the kitten in Anders' face--where it proceeds to bat at his nose--he frowns at the other man.]}

This is getting ridiculous. We can't keep track of all of them. Is anyone coming to-- Ow!

_{[The yelp comes as the squirming under his shirt grows more energetic and with a slightly panicked look Alistair disappears from view again, kittens in tow. The only hint as to his fate comes as an increase in the mewling and the sound of fabric ripping mercifully out of sight.]}

I'm getting to that part!

_{[Anders stares after him, eyebrows drawn up in alarm, before dragging his eyes back to the camera.]}

Uhhh, it's okay, everything's fine, we have things completely under control, but as you can tell, we're in possession of some cats who could use a loving home! Soft, furry cats! Adorable, see? They're domesticated, easy to care for, and make excellent house pets. That one doesn't appear to be a fan of Alistair's shirt, but some are more fashion conscious than others.

I don't know if I can take care of them all. If you'd like to take one, we'll be giving them away free of charge in the ballroom. First floor, you can't miss it! _{[Anders then points a finger sternly, though the effect is mitigated by the wide-eyed kittens holding onto his arm.]} But no funny business. If you consider cats a delicacy, I'm warning you now, we're both heavily armed. People wanting to make mittens out of their fur need not apply.

_{(OOC: Come find the log over here!)}

Comments

[ivehadbetter]

[ She squints at the video...before letting out a short laugh. Watching the King of Fereldon run around after cats was probably the most amusing part of this.]

Anders...what did you do? How did you rope poor Alistair into this?

video;

[circlejerked]

Nothing! Much. The last few days took it out of me and I may have let my mind wander when I shouldn't have... Just for a second.

<sub>[Anders slips one of the kittens he's holding into an inner pocket of his robes so he can scoop another one off the floor, sounding like a man guilty of forbidden magic. When the kitten keeps kicking all four legs in the air like it's still walking on the ground, though, he can't resist a smile.

Worth it.]</sub>

Poor Alistair? _{[He turns his attention back to the screen.]} He gets to play with kittens, who wouldn't enjoy that! It takes a confident man and a giving soul to take care of helpless creatures.

_{[And Anders may not have given him much choice. Same thing, really.]}

Re: video;

[ivehadbetter]

And how many pockets do you have cats hidden in? [She raises an eyebrow looking at him both critically and in amusement.]Are they crawling around all over you under those? The poor creatures.

Yes, I can see how much he's enjoying it. [He voice is so dry.] Well, if one happens to wander up to my room I wouldn't turn it away.

[That's as close as she will get to admitting that she might want one.]

[circlejerked]

_{[She has him there. He has more than a few pockets and compartments.]}

Now, now! _{[He makes a tsk sound.]} I don't just give away all my secrets for free. If you want to know what's going on under these robes, that'll have to wait for another time.

_{[Until the second date, at least. Come on, he's a classy apostate, not some loose-lipped Circle apprentice.]}

Are you saying you're fond of cats? I didn't think you were the type. Huh, you learn something new every day.

[ivehadbetter]

[She smirks at him, amused. Classy her ass.]

Oh, I believe I've already seen what was going on under those robes, at least once, maybe twice, I think it was twice. In one night too.

[She was almost impressed.]

I'm not sure fond is the right word. [Except it is.] We used to have a cat on the ship, it would keep the rat and mouse population down. They are rather useful when you don't want vermin getting into your food stores.

[circlejerked]

There are still some things you haven't seen. I like to keep a few cards up my sleeve. And before you ask--no, there are no cats up there. Not usually.

_{[Isabela isn't at all subtle in her innuendo, and Anders' smile takes on a new depth, a warm and knowing nostalgia. He remembers being intimately acquainted with her sans her clothing, too, and he's not embarrassed to admit it.]}

Ah, there you go! You can have a new mouser for your quarters here if any talking rats decide to get any funny ideas.

[ivehadbetter]

Well now that just sounds like a challenge, Anders dear. Are you trying to get me curious about the things I haven't seen yet?

[ She's never subtle, unless she wants to be, and she rarely ever wants to be. ]

Do we have talking rats here? That sounds a little more worrying than regular rats. [ She pauses, glancing away from the camera. ] I don't require a cat...

but if a cat just decides to show up in my room and not leave, well, I wouldn't chase it away.

[circlejerked]

_{[The "dear" causes his smile to grow perceptibly.]}

Maybe, maybe not. Is it working? As for talking rats, since Wonderland seems to be home to every other kind of talking animal under the sun, I don't see why there couldn't be rats, too!

_{[No, Isabela truly isn't subtle, not even when she's pretending she's too busy to come and adopt a cat herself. Anders manages not to laugh at her, but it's hard. It's very hard.]}

And where might this room be, exactly?

[ivehadbetter]

Maybe, maybe not. [She smiles wickedly at him. Two could play at that game.]

Rats should not be speaking. If you come across any please send your army of cats to attack them. [Really, there are just some things she would rather never see in her lifetime. Talking rats was one of those things.]

How forward of you, asking where my room is. You could at least buy me a drink first, if you did I would tell you it's the room next to the bar. [Because where else would she live of she can't actually live in the bar?]

[circlejerked]

I get the sense I've had enough to do with stirring up armies in my lifetime. But you have my word that if the talking rats attack, I'll keep you safe. The cats'll help as well. Talking rats won't stand a chance with this many felines on the prowl.

_{[To Anders' credit, he doesn't look abashed even though Alistair could still be within earshot.]}

I thought you'd appreciate the show of initiative. To my recollection, you didn't seem to mind whether a room had closed doors or not in the past. Tell you what, I'll buy you a drink later, and you can tell me all about how a lost cat somehow managed to make its way to your front door. How's that?

[ivehadbetter]

[And here she remains blissfully unaware of the future trouble Anders causes. ] I would call you my hero but I get the sense the cats will do most of the fighting.

I do enjoy a good display of...initiative. That sounds like a promise there, Anders dear, I'm always up for discussing the merits of a good...cat. If you're lucky I might even look forward to it. [Spoilers, she is.]

[circlejerked]

I'll still assist.

<sub>[From the back, at a safe distance, like a proper mage.

The play on words isn't lost on him, and he's unable to repress a smile at her brazenness. Isabela is a special breed of woman, that much had been clear from the get go.]</sub>

Luck is so rarely on my side, that would be something indeed.

_{[But now isn't the time for that kind of talk, provided there is such a thing when the two of them don't even belong to the same point in time. Besides, there are impressionable sets of furry ears listening. Not in front of the children.]}

[ivehadbetter]

[ She sends him a smirk. ]

I'll see you later than, when you don't deliver me a cat. Gray if you don't mind.

[circlejerked]

_{[He taps the side of his nose in a "say no more" sort of gesture.]}

Oh, you don't need to worry about that. I'll be sure to not make that delivery as soon as I have an opportunity.

_{[So naturally before the day is done, the room beside the bar receives a knock on the door. When opened, there will be nothing there aside from a carrier case, and inside it a cat the color of Isabela's choosing.]}