002 ↯ video

[circlejerked]

Um. All right, no one panic, but I may have underestimated these magic closets of ours and accidentally... done something.

<sub>[Anders' voice, sounding contrite. In the background, an unremitting stream of noise threatens to drown him out--it's meowing, rising and falling at different pitches like a tone-deaf a cappella group trying to harmonize and failing miserably.

The camera settles unsteadily on the hem of his robes before he sets it down and steps back. The source of the caterwauling then becomes apparent: in his arms are four young cats of various shapes and color, two tucked under each arm.

By the sounds of it, more are audible off-screen. Many, many more.]</sub>

I wasn't thinking... Well, I was, I was thinking how much more homey this place would be with a cute cat or two, and then--and then they were just there, and everywhere, and now there are a few more than two. If you have cat allergies, stay off the fourth floor.

_{[As if on cue, a kitten on stubby legs capers across the floor behind him. Anders, noticing movement on the screen, squints closely for a second, then looks for the real thing over his shoulder.]}

One's making a run for it. Alistair! Alistair, catch it, my hands are full.

_{[From somewhere off among the caterwauling comes a response, the owner appearing shortly after--]}

I see it!

_{[Alistair runs past in the background, two cats under one arm and what is presumably another squirming about down his shirt. He comes back into view a moment later, the escapee cradled in his free hand. Shoving the kitten in Anders' face--where it proceeds to bat at his nose--he frowns at the other man.]}

This is getting ridiculous. We can't keep track of all of them. Is anyone coming to-- Ow!

_{[The yelp comes as the squirming under his shirt grows more energetic and with a slightly panicked look Alistair disappears from view again, kittens in tow. The only hint as to his fate comes as an increase in the mewling and the sound of fabric ripping mercifully out of sight.]}

I'm getting to that part!

_{[Anders stares after him, eyebrows drawn up in alarm, before dragging his eyes back to the camera.]}

Uhhh, it's okay, everything's fine, we have things completely under control, but as you can tell, we're in possession of some cats who could use a loving home! Soft, furry cats! Adorable, see? They're domesticated, easy to care for, and make excellent house pets. That one doesn't appear to be a fan of Alistair's shirt, but some are more fashion conscious than others.

I don't know if I can take care of them all. If you'd like to take one, we'll be giving them away free of charge in the ballroom. First floor, you can't miss it! _{[Anders then points a finger sternly, though the effect is mitigated by the wide-eyed kittens holding onto his arm.]} But no funny business. If you consider cats a delicacy, I'm warning you now, we're both heavily armed. People wanting to make mittens out of their fur need not apply.

_{(OOC: Come find the log over here!)}

Comments

[villainously]

I didn't see, but considering the look on his face, I suspect there might have been.

( it's so nice to have an ally in bothering Alistair. he didn't even realize he wanted that. but apparently he did. )

No, I suppose I don't, but the closet can fill in those odds and ends, I'm sure.

[circlejerked]

Sounds like a good read.

_{[Anders' smile takes on a sly quality. It's a promising lead and one he'll keep in mind. Maybe it's a book he might want to check out if it can fluster even a hardened Warden.]}

You never know, you might warm up to your new companion given time. Having company while this backward place does its tricks isn't the worst thing that could happen.

_{[Is it?]}

[villainously]

I'm not sure owning a cat has ever done anyone any favors, but I suspect you'll disagree with me on that one.

( he's basically the most begrudging cat owner in the entire world. but Anders isn't totally wrong... that company is what is most appealing about the stupid creature. )

[circlejerked]

I do! My cat led darkspawn off my trail once. Wouldn't have been able to catch them off guard if it hadn't been for him.

_{[Using his cat as bait to get the jump on foes clearly isn't beyond this enthusiastic cat owner.]}

And the ladies love them. They're a great way to break the ice.

_{[See? Perks.]}

[villainously]

( did this guy just suggest using cats as bait? ? ? Anders are you really a fan of cats after all? Hook doesn't even like them and he's not sure he'd do that. )

Your cat is possibly the most proactive I've ever heard of the feline race. I'm sure he's the exception, not the rule.

And while I'm certain I've already throughly broken the ice with my lady, I shall keep that in mind.

[circlejerked]

_{[Maybe he did, maybe he didn't--his jocular smile certainly isn't giving any hints. First rule of Warden club: what happens in the Deep Roads stays in the Deep Roads.]}

He is a bit on the unusual side, I'll allow.

<sub>[A prince among cats, truly. If Anders could be said to have a true love at the moment, let's be honest, it's probably the cat.

Hearing that this half-dressed, hook-wielding debonair has evaded single status has Anders giving the screen a sly, knowing look. Oh, so someone has a lady already, do they? Good on you, ser, good on you.]</sub>

Ahhh, and is this lady here with you? How does she feel about cute, fuzzy animals?

[villainously]

( yes, just look at him, how could he possibly be single! ignore the fact that he totally was, and for about three hundred years at that. now he's definitely not though!!! #HappilyTaken #Mr.EmmaSwan )

I've never asked, but if I had to guess she'd probably be a fan. Her boy has a dog and she seems to enjoy it.

[circlejerked]

_{[It must be the chest hair. Everyone loves the chest hair.]}

Maybe you'd win some points bringing home an equally charming cat? It's already attached to you, and a cat isn't any more difficult to care for than a dog.

_{[He raises both eyebrows. Wink wink, nudge nudge.]}

[villainously]

( somewhere between the chest hair and the incredibly handsome face, he'd managed to snag one, despite his personality. it really was remarkable if you think about it. )

I'm sure I'll find a place for it. Don't you worry.

( go ahead and think it's for the lady. it's better for his reputation. )

Try not to think so much about cats from now on, mate, the last thing we need is a second swarm of these creatures.

( pirates are apparently allergic to goodbyes, they need to mock you instead. but this is an indication that Hook is planning on the conversation being over. )

[circlejerked]

<sub>[All right, all right, you win, Hook. He can't expect everyone to take on the burden of a pet, but the eternally optimistic side of him had hoped he could ferret out a few soft touches in the crowd and entice them to keep a cat or two.

Whatever the man chooses to do with the kitten, Anders feels he can trust that it won't come to harm, at least. And if it doesn't work out, the man knows his name and how to contact him.]</sub>

You have my word I'll be more careful next time.

_{[But his smile remains blithe as he takes one of his kitten's paws in his fingers and waves goodbye. A swarm of furry sweethearts isn't the worst thing in the world, is it? You're missing out, Hook.]}

We should get back to it. You know where to find me if you run into any more cats that have gotten into any places they shouldn't be.

[villainously]

( what he's doing with the kitten is really not as secret as he makes it out to be. but if you ever see him with white fur on him, Anders, it's probably just coincidence! )

I will that.