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[A young woman's face appears, framed by bright red hair, her green eyes both confused and tinted with anger as she starts to speak.]

Alright, first of all, to those of you that aren’t totally crazy, my name’s Clary, and I’m new around here. [She’s aware that she’s not the only person here against their will at least, so they should probably work together. She’s screwed if she doesn’t make some allies or friends.] If someone could let me in on what exactly is going on around here, I’d really appreciate it.

Second of all, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with this alternate-dimension thing. [She’s trying to sound ultra-confident about this, and she’s mostly successful, though there’s still a sense that she’s agitated and confused.] So whoever’s responsible for this? I’m not just going to sit around and take it. You can’t keep me here, not when the people I love need me.

And third, if you think giving me a bunch of free clothes and a nice room is going to make everything okay, you’re out of your mind. [Her attempt at being intimidating falls slightly short, considering she doesn’t even know who exactly she’s supposed to be addressing in regards to all this.] This is still kidnapping, no matter how you try to spin it. I’m not about to thank you and turn into some Stockholm Syndrome case.

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Well, I have good news and bad news.

[Mostly bad news. Dipper spreads his hands in front of him.]

Unfortunately, it's less a who so much as a this entire place and the odds of leaving on your own terms are pretty low. I mean, we're all working on it, but so far no luck. But on the bright side? No time will actually pass on the outside while you're here, so when you do get spit back out the people you love will be no worse off than they are now!

[Comforting....]

So, uh, welcome to Wonderland? I'm Dipper.

How do you even know that if you're stuck here? Did someone tell you that or are you just assuming?

[Also she's not sure that qualifies as good news. Decent, maybe. If she can even believe it. Also what the crap kids are getting kidnapped too? That's horrible. ~~Never mind that Clary is barely an adult herself hush.~~]

You say you're 'working' on it, but what does that even mean? How long has this been happening?

Well, Alice has been here for a century and a half. So at least that long.

[They know so much less than what they don't know.]

We're stuck, but people do get sent home. And then sometimes they come back. Also, because I know people here from before or after my point in time and they didn't notice us vanishing for over a year so that's... a pretty good indicator.

[A beat.]

This all makes a lot more sense if you don't think of time as a fixed thing.

Seriously? We're talking real life Alice in Wonderland here?

[Did she somehow get dragged into a book? Is that even possible?

There are a lot of thing she thought were impossible not all that long ago, so...]

I'm so glad I already wrapped my head around alternate timelines or I think that would have just broken my brain.

[She's not entirely sure she gets it but...she's trying.]

Yep, like the story. And yeah, understanding alternate timelines puts you lightyears ahead of a lot of people who come here. Some people don't even realize magic is real. That's always a fun conversation.

[Dipper has believed in magic since before he even had proof it existed. He was ready.]

Anyway, there's an informational pamphlet or two I can give you, and I'm pretty much an expert so if you have any questions? I can help you.

[Understanding is a bit of an overstatement. She visited one, though, so good enough for her to qualify in her mind.]

Believe me, I can relate.

[She was the person on the other end of that conversation already. It was not the best time.]

I'll take whatever you've got. [A beat.] How long have you been here?

Over a year. [He shrugs like it's not a big deal. It is. He never really thought he'd be here this long.] It's part of why I know so much.

Holy crap. [So much dnw.] Is that common?

It varies a lot. Some people leave almost immediately. Others... have been here longer than me.

Like Alice.

[Though Alice is a part of the story, so of course she as.]

This is crazy.

Really is. Anyone tell you about the Mirrors yet?

[For the child that was already paranoid about constantly being watched, the Mirrors are a special nightmare.]

I read about it in the brochure someone sent me. The whole thing creeps me out, to be honest.

It should. They could be watching you from anywhere there are mirrors, and even when you cover them, they can still hear you.

...That's way too Big Brother, okay.

[Dipper does... not get the reference. Does she have an older sibling that's always watching her? Not important. The sentiment is clear.]

I recommend playing music loudly if you want to talk about something privately. Or going somewhere outside the Mansion where there are no mirrors. The caves are good. And seriously creepy!

[Obviously, the creepy level is a good thing.]

I'll remember that. Thanks.

[She tilts her head.]

Are these caves creepy because they're dark and spooky or because they're filled with monsters?

[BOTH OF THESE THINGS SHOULD BE BAD DIPPER]

More the former. We don't really get monsters--well, monsters that want to eat you--except during events. There are a few monsters who live here, but uh, they get kind of offended if you talk about monsters like they're a bad thing. Or even a potentially bad thing.

[An eye roll. He may have had some arguments about the terminology.]

Oh. Right. Shoot.

[She met Sans, okay. She didn't even think about it like that.]

I met one of them, actually, and he was actually really nice. Guess I better watch what I say, huh.

Yeah, I guess. It's pretty dumb. Not like I'm going around insisting humans are universally good. Which one did you meet?

I can kind of see where they're coming from, though.

[Mundane. Downworlder. She's seen plenty of true descriptors with negative connotations. It's not her place to decide what's offensive.]

His name is Sans. Looks like a skeleton?

Yeah, I know him! He... is a skeleton, actually. Nice guy.

Right, I just mean he wasn't...someone else's skeleton at one point. Apparently.

But yeah. He is.

Yeah, no, he's just... a skeleton. I don't get how that works either, besides... magic.

That seems to be the explanation for a lot of things these days.

Well, once you accept that it's a real thing, it's amazing how much it covers.

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graphis - 2016-06-06 03:27 (UTC) - Expand