video;

[graphis]

[A young woman's face appears, framed by bright red hair, her green eyes both confused and tinted with anger as she starts to speak.]

Alright, first of all, to those of you that aren’t totally crazy, my name’s Clary, and I’m new around here. [She’s aware that she’s not the only person here against their will at least, so they should probably work together. She’s screwed if she doesn’t make some allies or friends.] If someone could let me in on what exactly is going on around here, I’d really appreciate it.

Second of all, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with this alternate-dimension thing. [She’s trying to sound ultra-confident about this, and she’s mostly successful, though there’s still a sense that she’s agitated and confused.] So whoever’s responsible for this? I’m not just going to sit around and take it. You can’t keep me here, not when the people I love need me.

And third, if you think giving me a bunch of free clothes and a nice room is going to make everything okay, you’re out of your mind. [Her attempt at being intimidating falls slightly short, considering she doesn’t even know who exactly she’s supposed to be addressing in regards to all this.] This is still kidnapping, no matter how you try to spin it. I’m not about to thank you and turn into some Stockholm Syndrome case.

Comments

[graphis]

No, agreed. Definitely.

[You could have a relationship without getting married anyway, and it didn't really matter here, right? Who was making up the certificates and stuff?]

Wait...what? Has that actually happened?

[littledhampir]

Apparently? That or Simon is messing with me, which I wouldn't put past him but when you spend a few weeks in this place? You stop being surprised. Be grateful you missed the Zombies.

[graphis]

I already did the zombie thing at home. Sort of, anyway.

[More like someone else did and there was a corpse later. Whatever.]

Hard pass on dealing with it again.

[littledhampir]

[There's a hint of surprise in her eyes but she doesn't press for details.]

They came. They saw. They killed a bunch of people. [Okay so it wasn't quite as low key as her tone might have suggested.]

But this place has the whole, what's dead doesn't stay dead thing working for it.

[graphis]

Sounds like zombies. Were there a lot of them?

[At least when they showed up on her side, they'd been few, though apparently powerhouses.]

Wait, so they were actual undead, not just mindless? And how is that in any way a good thing?

[She does not think you're talking about people resurrecting oops.]

[littledhampir]

[Rose's face is just. She has no idea what Clary is talking about right now and no matter how she rearranges those words in her head, she's coming up blank.]

Uh... wait, the dead don't stay dead thing? Not the zombies. [A beat.] At least... I don't think? We die, we come back. They die... I don't know if you've ever seen a dead Zombie before but it's just a lot of gross.

[graphis]

They're gross even before they're dead, so I can imagine.

[Ew]

So people can literally come back to life like nothing happened? How is that possible?

[How is ANY of this possible I mean rly.]

[littledhampir]

[...] It happens...

[Says the girl who totally died that one time and came back to life like nothing happened. (un s u r e).]

Magic, I'm guessing. The zombie thing didn't go well for a lot of people around here.

[graphis]

I believe you. It's just...you know...

[Hard.]

I'm sorry.

[She feels like maybe she trampled across some bad memories.]

[littledhampir]

Weird? [Pushing those bad memories aside like it's nbd.] Don't be. Around here weird is the new normal. It's weirder when you start getting used to it.

[Yeah she knows that's not why Clary was saying Sorry but she's going to feig ignorance.]

[graphis]

I thought I had hit my quota on weird. I didn't think anything would be weird enough to be weird anymore.

[littledhampir]

[Pins gold stars to their chests for saying weird six times between them in two tags.]

Talking Raccoon. [...] There is one here apparently and that's weird even by Wonderland standards.

[graphis]

[Champions.]

That's...messed up.

[littledhampir]

[A beat.]

That's this place. It's when things seem normal that you start worrying because that means there's probably a nasty surprise around the corner.

[graphis]

So expect the unexpected always. Never get complacent. Got it.