Chara (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fulllifeconsequences) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2016-08-11 04:51 pm
fulllifeconsequences) wrote in entranceway2016-08-11 04:51 pm
[video/text]
[Chara's outside. They have their device on the ground, propped up against a rock, so their hands are free. They're crouched down in the mud, on the shore of a pond somewhere - there's a bush of purple flowers in the background, mostly obscuring the maze of massive tree-trunks. They're out having some kind of childish adventure, presumably. Two things sit by their feet: a thermos of something-or-other and a freshly-gathered bouquet of white flowers.
They're washing that favourite old switchblade off in the water. Must have cut the flowers, not picked them. They flick it dry, click the blade shut, and pocket it. Pick up the bouquet, hold it up so their face is all but hidden by the lovely white blooms.]
Pretty, are they not? Narcissus. A member of the daffodil family. They get their name because... well, I'm not entirely familiar with the myth, actually. I know Narcissus was some guy who loved himself. He loved himself so much, he died.
[A very abridged version, and they might be wrong, but they think they've got the base details down. They shrug, smile, start to neatly divide their bouquet: a pile of flowers on this side, and they pluck all the leaves off and set them down on the other side.]
It is a tangent, Wonderland, but I wonder. Could you get me up to speed on what we know about the mirror side? Can we cross to that side if we want to? Can the mirror folk cross the barrier as they please? If not, is there someone or something in charge of the decision? I'm curious.
[Their flowers sufficiently... de-leafed... they pick up the thermos. Ginger tea, sweetened with honey. Good for queasiness. Honey makes it taste better, soothes a sore throat. They think, fleetingly, of Asgore. Because they think of Asgore, they think of Toriel. Don't... quite know how to approach the topic of Asriel. Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it. Don't want to bear acknowledging they live in a world without him again. But is anyone else... checking on them?
...Couldn't hurt. Maybe. To just... maybe not about him, can't utter his name. To just... say hi.
They cut the video feed. Reach for their phone, type some texts out.]
[Private text to Asgore]
I was going to attach a picture. I've started work on a sweater - pink again, if that is okay. It's back in our room, though, and I don't think I'll be back there for a couple days.
I suppose I just wanted to let you know you'll have something to look forward to. =)
[Private text to Toriel]
I know it is unkind to gossip, but perhaps you ought to know that Sans took poorly at the end of this last event. I am aware he is a friend of yours, so I feel you should be aware. Perhaps he would feel better if someone came to check on him? Company always makes a hard time easier.
Here is a joke that the both of you might like:
Why did the pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
They're washing that favourite old switchblade off in the water. Must have cut the flowers, not picked them. They flick it dry, click the blade shut, and pocket it. Pick up the bouquet, hold it up so their face is all but hidden by the lovely white blooms.]
Pretty, are they not? Narcissus. A member of the daffodil family. They get their name because... well, I'm not entirely familiar with the myth, actually. I know Narcissus was some guy who loved himself. He loved himself so much, he died.
[A very abridged version, and they might be wrong, but they think they've got the base details down. They shrug, smile, start to neatly divide their bouquet: a pile of flowers on this side, and they pluck all the leaves off and set them down on the other side.]
It is a tangent, Wonderland, but I wonder. Could you get me up to speed on what we know about the mirror side? Can we cross to that side if we want to? Can the mirror folk cross the barrier as they please? If not, is there someone or something in charge of the decision? I'm curious.
[Their flowers sufficiently... de-leafed... they pick up the thermos. Ginger tea, sweetened with honey. Good for queasiness. Honey makes it taste better, soothes a sore throat. They think, fleetingly, of Asgore. Because they think of Asgore, they think of Toriel. Don't... quite know how to approach the topic of Asriel. Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it. Don't want to bear acknowledging they live in a world without him again. But is anyone else... checking on them?
...Couldn't hurt. Maybe. To just... maybe not about him, can't utter his name. To just... say hi.
They cut the video feed. Reach for their phone, type some texts out.]
[Private text to Asgore]
I was going to attach a picture. I've started work on a sweater - pink again, if that is okay. It's back in our room, though, and I don't think I'll be back there for a couple days.
I suppose I just wanted to let you know you'll have something to look forward to. =)
[Private text to Toriel]
I know it is unkind to gossip, but perhaps you ought to know that Sans took poorly at the end of this last event. I am aware he is a friend of yours, so I feel you should be aware. Perhaps he would feel better if someone came to check on him? Company always makes a hard time easier.
Here is a joke that the both of you might like:
Why did the pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
no subject
[They could understand throwing everything away for Asriel.
...In a kinder, purer sense than the way they threw everything away for Asriel.
They'd be willing to throw everything away for Frisk, too. Somehow, "let Frisk be happy" ended up something they wish for, too, desperately and ravenously. But they just can't see anything about themselves that would ever deserve a second chance. That would leave an empty place behind if it left. That would really, truly mark them as "wanted," beyond doubt.
It'll only hurt if they believe it. If they attach. If they get their hopes up. It'll only be a matter of time until Frisk doesn't like this plan anymore, and it's too late for Chara to keep marching in any direction except straight into hell.
But... they want to stay with Frisk, too.]
Is that really what you want? You're absolutely sure? You know what... what it means? You might have to say goodbye to other friends you've made. You might not be able to go home, even if you change your mind. You might end up somewhere you don't like as much as you liked our world, or you might get sick of Wonderland's events, or...
I'm not going back. Even if it means we say goodbye. The world doesn't want me back. You understand that, right?
no subject
I was in their lives for a day. They won't have to worry about me. Most of them won't even remember knowing me all that well.
[Their expression trembles, something awful streaking across it, low and pained. Having to say goodbye to everyone. To Alphys, to Sans, to Mettaton, to Asgore, to Papyrus, to Toriel - to everyone they've come to love and appreciate even more now that they're here. And Toriel had just started to warm to them, Sans just starting to accept that they count as family...
The ache of longing is still there, reverberating in their SOUL. They could have a family on the surface. A family of their own.
But Asriel deserved happiness too, and he never gets it. Not once. He always has to be the sacrificial lamb for everyone else's story. There's a poetry to it, to the choice here. Frisk taking that step away from the temptation of that gold-tinted ending, damning their SOUL to a world that isn't home, like Chara did, like Asriel, like any one of the nameless fallen children that tried and failed to make it back out.
It is what they deserve.]
* It's not you.
* It's not me.
[It's something they've never gotten to say. Never allowed? Or did neither of them realize, allow it to happen, that bright, clear sound of two forces opposed aligning in perfect synchronicity.]
* It's us.
no subject
They don't understand any of this well enough to act like an authority, to declare it right or wrong. Something they should encourage or shout down. It's absurd, but they... they wish something would give them guidance. Tell them if this road is just as dangerous as the one they chose when they were alive.
It's not how the ending is supposed to be. It's not the neatly-wrapped happily ever after it was supposed to build up to. But Chara... knows they've spoken out against Frisk's idea that Asriel wasn't SAVED enough. They don't agree with the way he ended up, isolated and hidden, but they... it was what he chose for himself. Isn't that worth something? So, if this is what Frisk is chosing...
But maybe that's just selfishness. Trying to rationalize it, when really it amounts to an inability to let Frisk go. Not wanting to say goodbye. Not leaving them in the hands of a world that might not heard them like Chara can, understand them like Chara can, might not fight for them like Chara will. Maybe they just... can't function without Frisk either. Aren't quite tough enough to not care about someone who keeps insisting there's something worthwhile about them.
There's no getting around it. It's not just that their own world doesn't want them. It's that what they have in this world means so much more. It's not wanting to forget that they can be... that they're not just a parasite latching onto a host, that they're...]
* It's us.
[Despite everything? Because of everything. They find one more smile in themselves, though it's a muted, subdued one.]
If that's your decision, then... I'll follow you, Orpheus. Whether you keep your promises or not.
no subject
Okay. I'm not gonna leave. Not without you. Not unless you want.
[That wouldn't account for Wonderland pulling them away, but - no. They can't think that. They won't. They will not allow that to happen.]
I won't let this place take me away. It can't.
no subject
There's always a way to use a world's rules against it. Turn the tables on a partner with godlike immunity to consequence. Push "kill or be killed" to its extreme. Twist something that should be a loss until it's actually an advantage.
But they know better than that. Frisk can't always keep a secret. Frisk likes to do things For Chara's Own Good. For everyone's good.
So they keep their plans to themself. Just keep smiling.]
Because the rules don't apply to you like they apply to everyone else?
It's an empty promise. One you probably won't keep. But... god, I hope you do.
[I can't do this twice, they murmur, every last thread pulled so taut they begin to snap one by one. They try to consider Frisk vanishing too, their SOUL cracking the moment Chara dares to let them go, only this time there's no coming back ever, no Reset, no LOAD, no memories coming flooding back, and they bite the inside of their cheek to chase that unthinkable concept away.]
I don't think I could lose you even once.
no subject
They've got that in common.]
I don't ever wanna lose you or, or make you lose me. And you know us. We're...determined, huh? World's rules always make exceptions for us.
[The human SOUL is a powerful thing. Maybe not so unique here, but...well, holding onto hopes is something Frisk excels at. The world makes concessions for determination. That's how it's been. Maybe it can continue to be like that.]
Hold on here for as long as I can. Or if I can't, then...find someone else's world to go back to. A world where we can actually be together. In space, or Gravity Falls - I don't care.
no subject
[Live like runaways. The exciting, romantic idea of runaways, not the reality where you loiter in a Denny's or huddle behind a dumpster or under a bridge trying to pretend a package of Twinkies is enough to make you feel full. The kind where you ride trains and have adventures and live in a forest sometimes.]
No such thing as custody or law, or... or fate. Just us. We could go anywhere. Everywhere. Eat what we want, sleep when we want. We could be like Chihiro, only we never have to go back to the real world.
Bet Sans'd be super jealous if he heard we were gonna go live in space, huh?
[They know they're being fake. That's not how it works in the real world, kiddo. Life's harsher than that. But it's... it's a comforting fantasy. The kind of fantasy that they wove when they hid under the bed trying to bury themselves in a book. The feeling of not belonging anywhere, and therefore being utterly free. Escaping so utterly from the things that trap you that they can never sink their claws into you again.]
no subject
None of them have to know. I think if they did they'd try to stop us. So, we can just...when it happens. We've never been above consequences, but we've - always been above fate, huh?
[They stop outside their room. Room 12. How many times have they departed, taken their impromptu leave, come barrelling back? How many times has this room been empty, whether by choice or crisis or both?
They're sure they don't want to know.
They open the door, and it's just like it's always been.]
You can use the bathroom first, if you want.
no subject
No, that doesn't make sense. They're not the one who hesitates. They know plans have to be secrets sometimes. Nobody will feel like they've failed if a child just happens to get sick. Nobody will angry at Asriel if they just think he's honoring his best friend's dying wish, not setting out to reap SOULs. You can't expect people to understand. Nobody will understand you.
But it seems... well, no. Never mind. The consequences of vanishing abruptly from everyone's lives are none of their business. They were already gone. Chara scribbles the thought out. They still like this plan.]
Thanks, I guess.
[Chara staunchly looks at nothing more than the bit of floor directly in front of them. For how long it's really been, the room still... it doesn't look like Room 12 On Floor Two In Wonderland. It looks like New Home. His bed, my bed, our clothes. The additions of mirrors and windowsills and bathrooms, the subtraction of photographs and drawings of flowers... they still aren't enough to make it somewhere totally new, divorced from nostalgia.
Which is... stupid, huh? Asriel never even set foot in this room, this time.
Or maybe it's not stupid at all. Maybe it's a good sign if this doesn't feel like a... like New New Home or something. Maybe it's better to remember that this is a temporary setup.
They try not to think about it as they shuffle wearily into the room, head off to clean themselves up.]