Entry #88

[postictal]

[The video feed clicks on to feature an unassuming shot of the crisp gray sky, accompanied by the restless crunching of footsteps drawing closer. Abruptly, someone picks up the thing and spins it around with a faint flare of static that's gone as quickly as it flickered up.

There is, briefly, a face visible on the screen, dark hair and dark eyes and brows knit together in an expression puzzlement and concern. Then the feed flips around again and starts panning around the area in a slow sweep, handled in the same way someone might a handheld camera. It's both too familiar and too surreal, and he fumbles at the last second, dropping the angle so the network instead gets a lovely view of scuffed sneakers crunching through a patina of fallen leaves.]

So seasonal change sure is a thing. Like, really a thing. Place doesn't mess around.

[His tone is dry, the words drawn out with a slow, weary indolence. He doesn't seem to realize he's actively broadcasting at the moment. He's just taking video in the same way - how Jay would, and even now the memory is painful and sends a pang of regret thrumming all the way to his bones. It's just such an easy, obvious reflex. Practically instinctive.

The crunching of his footsteps halts abruptly as something seems to occur to him.]

So I can post now instead of reply, is that it? Wait, why now? What makes this so -

[The feed snaps out, evidently by mistake.]

Comments

[postictal]

[He slips the bottle of pills from his pocket and gives it a little shake. It rattles with a satisfying solidity. In his experience, it's easier to just go and get this kinda thing over with. People are gonna find out anyway. It's better if they make their distaste for him known at the outset.]

You know that weird kid who had fits in the middle of class?

[mypartnerincrime]

[Chloe eyes the bottle before nodding. She doesn't smile or laugh at Tim's description. Kids who get fits in class usually end up being bullied by stupid asses who think it's hilarious to suddenly get panic attacks in the middle of class. And Chloe hates those asshole bullies. Granted, she may be an asshole herself. But she's definitely no bully. There's a difference.]

Yeah, I get it.

[She points at the bottle with her cigarette.]

So, what's wrong with you?

[postictal]

That is the big question.

[He says it with a faux grandiose air, like it's not a blight on his life, slips the bottle back into his pocket. Better to make this seem less bizarre, less strange and terrifying, than it really is. He has to. He has to make this work.

He can do that.]

Epilepsy, basically.

[Only instead of flashing lights, he gets doubled over by the presence of the imaginary friend that, until fairly recently, he was told repeatedly didn't actually exist.]

[mypartnerincrime]

[Chloe cocks her head to one side, quite interested to learn more.]

Epilepsy, huh?

[She takes another drag of her cigarette and exhales before continuing, oblivious to the fact that Tim might not be that comfortable discussing his condition to a complete stranger. As if Chloe was ever tactful. Harhar.]

How often do you get fits?

[postictal]

Not very, if I take my meds.

[Well, that's a dirty lie and he knows it. He's long since gotten over the fact that people are gonna ask rude questions. "Fits," yeah. Sounds familiar. Gotten the question dozens of times.]

And I hear this place restocks pretty much anything you need, so that's - y'know, that's nice.

[mypartnerincrime]

Yeah, it does. Includiiiing--

[Chloe holds up the cigarette in her hands and grins at Tim.]

Boxes and boxes of cigarettes. Isn't that fucking awesome?

[A pause, followed by another long drag.]

That's probably the best thing I like about this place. Unlimited sticks and booze.

[Chloe laughs.]

Although, being with Max again is friggin' cool too.

[postictal]

[He's lived in worse places, he decides wryly. At least he doesn't have to pay for the meds or the cigarettes, or work overtime just to afford the rent for his place. So that's a plus. They're in a bullshit fantasy-world where everything defies logic, but hey - free cigs. So that's something.

He doesn't laugh, but he gets about as close as he can to it, which is a faint snort as he finishes his cigarette and grinds the heel out underfoot.]

Could be worse, I guess.

[mypartnerincrime]

Definitely.

[She takes one last drag, before tossing the cigarette butt. Without the lit cigarette, the cold starts creeping into her skin again. Chloe rubs her hands together, the light in her hands shaking as she does.

She nods at Tim. It's been pretty cool that she got to smoke with someone here in Wonderland. First time that's ever happened. And hopefully it won't be the last.]

Well, thanks for the smoke but I'll probably head back now. Don't think I can stand the cold any longer.

[Chloe lets out a quick laugh.]

So much for exploring the woods but I can probably do that another day, when it's not hella freezing out here.

[She takes a few steps forward, then looks back at Tim, her face hidden in the shadows.]

You coming?

[postictal]

[He seems to consider for a moment, dithering as he glances over his shoulder at the shadows formed by the tree trunks, shoves his hands in his pockets, and wish he'd stayed out here alone. She seems like a decent enough person, or someone he could be friends with, and that just makes it exponentially worse, 'cause that just means he's inflicting himself on her for kicks.

She deserves better than that.

Then he turns back to her, and shrugs, cutting off that line of thought before it can terminate anywhere he doesn't wanna think about.]

Sure. Might as well.