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[ Sarah's walking around Wonderland, device in hand as she talks, hair in a pony tail. She's in running gear, and though she's not winded, her cheeks are pink and it's clear she's definitely been exercising outside. ]

So, whoever said jogging is good for you? The worst. It's so bad for your knees. But sometimes it feels like running is the only way to get far enough past the latest...implosion of this place.

[ She sits now on a bench in the garden, sighing and looking at the camera. ]

Other than drinking, what do you do to take your mind off of how this place works? Some people, for example, run. Some people read, some people eat, even. I don't know. So what do you do when you need an escape when we can't go anywhere?

[ After she's posed her question to everyone at large, she wanders around the garden, wondering if she's allowed to pick the flowers or if it isn't that kind of garden. It's all beautiful, in any case, and she winds up finding a sunny spot and sitting again, stretching out on the grass and closing her eyes. ]

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No, I didn't mean that. It's...it's actually the same for me. There are some things here that make it a lot easier to live than it was at home.

[This is edging in on "okay, so I eat people" territory, but maybe that won't be so bad, if she already knew him. Maybe she already knows?]

I miss the people I don't get to see a lot, but there's a lot that I don't miss at all.

[ Sarah didn't really have much, so other than her son, there's not a lot she misses. Luckily, her brother is in Wonderland, so that helps a lot. ]

We didn't really talk much about where you're from, I just know you couldn't drink anything. You didn't tell me why, though, and I never asked. I figured if you wanted to tell me, you would but otherwise it wasn't any of my business.

[That answers that question. Kaneki's quiet for a moment, pensive. It's only when he realizes the silence might be getting awkward that he speaks again, a little too fast at first.]

I-I can tell you about it. I don't know how well we know each other, though, and it's not...pleasant. I don't know if that's the kind of thing you'd want to...

[To be invested in? To be burdened with? Something like that.]

Whatever it is, I won't push you about it. I think Wonderland is a place where all that matters is the stuff that happens here and what kind of person you try to be while you're here.

[ Her best friend has done some questionable at best things back home, but to Sarah, there's no reason to judge her here when she's trying to be a good person, a better person. ]

So, if you want to tell me, you can. And maybe I won't understand, or maybe I'll have a lot of questions. But I already have my opinion of you based on Wonderland, and it's not bad.

[ She offers him a little smile, not sure if that makes sense, or even if it's too naive of her. But she firmly believes this place is a chance for people to be different, somehow, if they want to be. ]

[Kaneki likes that way of seeing things and he smiles to himself as she explains her view. Although he hasn't known her long, he feels like he can trust her...and like she won't freak out.

The smile doesn't last long, though. It's a pretty serious thing and he still gets nervous about telling people about it. At home, after all, he'd end up dead if he were found out.]

If you don't mind meeting in person, I can explain everything to you.

[It's a gamble to explain in person versus explaining over the network. Over the network, people can overhear and hack into the archives. In person, after the explanation, he might seem like he's luring people in to attack them.]

[ Sarah truly has no idea what to expect, but she likes to consider herself open-minded and willing to hear anyone out, so she nods. ]

Absolutely. I think, before, you worked at the coffee shop. Do you still like it there? If so, we can meet there.

[A quick nod.]

I was going to be going there anyway, so I can meet you there, if you have time now.

Sure thing. I'll be there in about ten minutes.

[ With a small smile she cuts off the video and ducks into an empty room to use the closet and freshen up a little (hey, if no one lives there, why not?) and then heads to the coffee shop, ordering a vanilla latte before sitting to wait on Kaneki. ]

[Kaneki arrives shortly after her and spots her waiting for him. Normally, he might have been the one serving her her drink, but he's made sure to make himself not linger around the coffee shop all day, every day.

He got a coffee for himself - black - and went to sit across from her.]

Um...thanks. For meeting with me.

[He hesitates, wondering if this weren't a bad idea. At least they're in a relatively public place, which might help if she reacts badly to what he's going to say.]

You said you know I can't drink anything. [Except coffee, obviously.] I can't eat anything either. At least, not normal food.

[Just going to eeeease on into this topic.]

[ Sarah nods at his thanks, then takes a sip of her coffee as she listens. ]

Yeah, you had a really bad reaction to tea.

[ She'd thought she scalded him because it was hot, she remembers this vividly. ]

Solid food is even worse.

[Some of his species can fake it, but he has never been able to. He's pretty sure he never will be able to.]

There's only one thing I can eat. I mean that my species can eat.

[ She's with him so far and realizes she's in for something wild when he refers to himself as being a completely different species. ]

Okay. What is it? What can you eat?

[He inhales deeply, taking a second to psych himself up.]

...People. We - ghouls - eat people.

[Now that that's finally out there, the rest of what he says comes out in a rush.]

A-ah, that isn't a problem here, though! The closets are able to give me what I need to eat so...so no one's in any danger.

[Well. Most of the time.]

[ On the list of things she thought he'd say when he opened his mouth, this was not it. She blinks a few times, assesses how she feels about it. She doesn't feel in danger, she never has. She's not worried. She believes him.

God, Wonderland is really good at bringing in everyone from everywhere, isn't it? ]

Honestly, I...just. Wow? Wow. What does the closet give you, thighs? Like, does it spit out body parts for you?

[ She's not even being sarcastic, and she's not disgusted, she is just 100% genuinely curious. ]

[It takes Kaneki a minute to remember to breathe now that he's got all of that out.

Aaaaand that question is not what he was expecting. No one has ever asked him that before, and he's careful not to eat in front of anyone, so he's made sure no one's ever seen what he gets.]

Th-that... No. It's more like...steaks? [He raises his hands from the surface of the table and moves them like he's holding a small package in front of him.] Just a cut of raw meat.

Um...I do worry a little. About where the meat comes from. But I don't think it's hurting anyone here, at least.

Well, I mean. No one's missing any parts that they came here with as far as I know. I think you're good, but probably better to not think too hard about it.

[ Sarah is grossly fascinated, and she wants to ask so many questions but she's managing to at least try and only ask tactful things. ]

Has it...always been this way for you?

[Kaneki has never had a reaction like this. And no one's ever really asked him practical questions about it. He's not sure what to think about that, but Sarah is now a Very Interesting Person to him.]

No. Well, for other ghouls, it has. They're born like this. I used to be human, though. I've only been like this for about a year.

Oh. I'm...sorry? I don't know if you are, though, and I don't know if this is all a bad thing to you, so if that was a mistake to say, sorry for that, too.

[ What a pro at navigating conversation, wow.

She's also just more curious than anything, and afraid of him or wanting to avoid him doesn't even appear on the list of things she feels, so he doesn't have to worry at all. Maybe that's naive, but she'll worry about that some other time. ]

No, that's fine.

[Kaneki can certainly be awkward himself at times, so he can't blame her.]

This is...this is definitely not something I would have wanted if I'd had a choice. I didn't even know it was possible until it happened.

Is it...is it okay if I ask how it happened? If you'd rather not talk about it, that's fine. No pressure.

[ She knows it's a nosey question, and she won't be offended if he decides not to answer. ]

No...it's fine.

[It's still not easy to think about it, but he feels like it should be. It's been a year since then and really there are a lot more important things to be worried about.]

I um. Went on a date with a ghoul who tried to eat me at the end of it. [HIS FIRST DATE it was the worst first date ever.] We were at a construction site and a huge iron beam fell and crushed her.

She'd torn open my side with her kagune, and once we got to the hospital, they transplanted one of her organs inside of me. It was supposed to save my life, and it did...

[At times, he wonders about whether it might have been better to just die.]

[ Sarah lets out a heavy breath. ]

Wow. I mean. Holy shit. Sorry.

[ She's just flabbergasted and feels bad for him and feels like he got a really shitty deal, here. ]

It did but with a price.

[ A really terrible price. ]

Edited (icon) 2017-01-09 13:31 (UTC)

[Thank you for that reaction, Sarah. For some reason it's just...a huge relief to Kaneki.]

That's...that's where I am, I guess. There's a lot I never realized I took for granted. Not just being able to eat food, but not having to worry about being in situations where I'm supposed to be able to eat it.

What a completely shitty situation. I'm so sorry.

[ She feels bad for him, and what's worse - there's nothing she can do to really help, maybe other than listen and not freak out. ]

If there's ever anything I can do, even if it's just this, I mean, I'm happy to.

Thank you. I...I don't think anyone's ever actually said that to me.

[He is going to ignore the fact that that is pretty sad, because the only people around him are people who have always had to deal with these things and the only person who would have listened can't ever know.]

Edited 2017-01-12 02:33 (UTC)

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