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What an absolutely delectable distraction!

[A frightening feline visage graces the viewer. While it registers more or less as a cat in shape and size, there is something particularly off about it. The eyes are too big, and the mouth gapes, full of crowded teeth pointing in all directions. It’s visibly smiling, which is something a normal cat shouldn’t be able to do. Maybe this is what cats look like in nightmares?]

Such an array of colours and textures! I find myself mourning my poor ability to see all the different shades, but oh, the sensations underneath my toes! The feeling of raking my claws over the various chairs and couches in this lovely building is nothing less than sublime.

I’ve been missing out my entire life, only able to sharpen them against the cold metal of Zone 0. It makes a most unpleasant sound, but one must endure. Hygiene is very important, children.

And they have even made me a little present. While I would prefer some fresh quarry to chase, or perhaps something to open those vexing little tins with, this device is more than satisfactory. It is made just for the charming, rounded shape of my paws.

[It kneads them against the screen, purring in a satisfied manner.]

Tell me, my well-kept inmates, what is the purpose of our prison? I was thoroughly convinced that my world had been reduced to nothingness, as my wanderings proved fruitless, and yet I am here, vibrant and alive! The puppeteers have made quite the tangle of strings here, but it does not bother me any more than any other ball of yarn, which we cats are so expert at unraveling.

I implore you to tell me all you know. I am very, very curious.

[OOC: Before playing with The Judge, please check out his permissions post! He has a particular fourth-wall breaking power that you need to know about before engaging with him.]

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So it seems that Wonderland has decided to bring in my feline friend! Buenos días, dear Pablo.

[So hands - or paws, in this case - up, who's surprised that Zacharie's here? Nobody. The Judge, at least, should be used to the NPC's shenanigans by now. He's got his cat mask on and appears to be pretty happy the cat is here. Haven't seen you in a long time buddy!]

In an effort to get the guide character out of the dark, this place is called Wonderland. You seem to be enjoying getting a feel for this place already!

[Another talking cat? This one is definitely not of the Cheshire variety though.]

Welcome to Wonderland. How much have you seen of it?

[Since he'd be willing to show this cat around. Then again, it was a cat. It'd probably get to places faster than he could. It did know it was a prison, after all.]

Ah, Zacharie!

[The Judge gives a slight pause.]

I was momentarily surprised by your appearance, but your presence feels all the more natural considering our circumstances here.

And so I've heard! It is a wonder indeed, both in texture and scent. A veritable cornucopia of sensory delights! I will be very busy getting to know all its corners, and at what times the sun shines through all of these windows.

Hello there! I have had a cursory wander here-and-there, but I think it will be quite some time before I have rubbed my cheeks on all the tables and chairs.

Well every game needs cute cats like ourselves, yes? Maiou.

[You're still not fooling anyone Zacharie.]

And I will happily tell you about those warm spots in question and provide a can-opener but there are a few things to note about this world. While we are well provided for, this place likes to prove the opposite of the word 'wonderful' and host various events that often follow the theme of danger, death and silliness for a laugh.

[As games tend to do. Sound fun, right?]

Now that I am here, you've no need to continue your facade. [That mask looks a little too much like his brother's face for the Judge's comfort.] Unless you enjoy it. Which, knowing you, is entirely possible.

I see, I see. But that is not so different from our own world. [So, yes. Very much like a game.] That explains all the puppeteers then. They seem to gather where-ever regular adversity is present.

So we've got talkin' cats now.

[He'd initially typed this out before he remembered - cats can't... type. He's seen Nanaki try before, and it can't be comfortable for them.]

Would you rather I not? I am also adept at other means of communication, such as meowing, purring, and hissing. However, it is my experience that creatures outside of the feline persuasion have a hard time parsing that language.

Nah, it's alright. But I should probably let you know there's another talkin' cat that lives here. One of the residents, I think.

I enjoy everything, ah ah ah.

[But Zacharie doesn't make sport of making the Judge uncomfortable so he ducks out of frame for a second to swap masks. There we go, his normal face.]

True, but our world operated under the rule of 'don't kill the merchant'. While I am not the only shopkeeper here it makes it rather difficult when I am in the danger of dying.

[He's not sure if it counts, but he's 'died' twice now. Not that fun, let him tell you.]

Indeed, which makes things rather interesting with multiple Puppeteers rather than one at a time. But while we are down our own protagonist, there is someone else here. A rather old friend of mine.

[The Judge should know who Zacharie's talking about. He sees no reason to hide that Sucre is here from the guide so he won't. Less of a shock, depending on when he comes from.]

[That's a good fellow, Zacharie. The Judge appreciates his efforts.]

So you no longer exist outside of the mechanics of battle? Most interesting. Have you taken up your sword, or do you continue to operate under the guise of the credit clerk? I could not blame you for that decision, your competences must be very rusty after all this time.

I couldn't be more pleased that that deranged crusader is not here. [His expression temporarily twists into a sneer at the thought of that brute. But it is no longer worth dwelling on.] But aside from myself, the only company I'm aware you keep is that of tender Sucre.

Interesting! I thought I caught whiff of some familiar pheromones. I believe I will seek them out... At a leisurely pace.

[They've got more experience with dogs than they do with cats, but they've nothing against cats personally. It's not the fact that it's a talking felid that arrests their attention, so much; it's the fact that he mentions Zone 0.

The child on the video screen possesses features one can really only describe as "flat," and even if they do not appear to be particularly surprised, they certainly do sound intrigued.]

I've heard of that place. Zone 0.

I have been attempting to seek outside roles but for the most part I remain the merchant or the guide when needed. Although with your arrival those here will get two guides for the price of one! But yes, I have been remaining out of combat. I am more than a little rusty, as you say.

[Nobody was going to see those skills for a long time - save for those who saw it in a dream. But there's no point in addressing that legend just yet.

And the Judge's expression somewhat confirms what Zacharie is thinking. Either Pablo had figured out what the Batter was doing and had arrived to stop him or was victorious. There's nothing but disgust right now. Or regret.]

She is here. Wonderland saw fit to bring her back to us.

['Back to us'. Things didn't exactly go over so well back home for Sucre, this time around. But at the very least she was alive here. That's all Zacharie can really ask for.]

There is no price for my advice. [He purrs in amusement.] But you are rather more straightforward than I am. I don't think I will be encroaching on your business here.

[The Judge knows the legends. He didn't need to read the books in Japhet's library. It was knowledge a being such as himself was naturally privy to. But the past was the past. Maybe, in this world, regrets could be permanently put to rest.]

So the dead can be brought back to life here? [The Batter had the Grand Chocolatier. There was only one way he could have that item.] But it is a world within itself. She cannot be brought back to our home. Not that there is anything there to return to.

Edited 2017-03-07 21:48 (UTC)

Have you, child? Are you familiar with the cradle of my world?

I've heard about it.

[A small nod of confirmation. That makes...three, now? Three from that very same world?]

Do you know Zacharie?

Of course. He is a good friend of mine, as we serve similar roles within our domains. He also opens those little tins of meat for me.

I am certain that there will be some here that will enjoy your particular brand of loquaciousness as they do my ruggedly handsome looks. Besides I do not consider a good friend an encroachment. We can always double-team for maximum fun and adorableness.

[And perhaps the regrets can be buried alive and sleep. It's a difficult road to do so, even though Zacharie has been trying his best. Hard to let go of all that programming.]

Yes, they can. [The NPC doesn't bring up Valerie immediately. No need to upset his friend and besides the Judge could likely draw that conclusion quickly.] But you are right. And by the sound and appearance of yourself, you have seen the conclusion of that particular battle.

[And won, unlike when Zacharie was last home.]

He's said he liked cats.

[So this must be one of said cats, they imagine. Though last they checked, it sounded as though there were more than one. So which is this one...?]

What's your name?

[Okay. Okay. Forgive her, Judge, but she can't just see a talking cat and not think magical girl anime familiar. She just can't.]

Are you... a c-cat? I mean, like, really a cat, not like, a cat monster or, uhm, just someone pretending to be a cat for uh, I don't k-know, fun?

You'll have your chance except when there are events.

[Since there might not always be tables and chairs and the like during those.]

Last time I saw that cat, everyone almost drowned. So, uh... I'd be careful if I were you.

[Well! Would you look at that! A cat! How interesting!]

Well, what questions do you have, my fine feline friend? I will provide whatever answers I am able!

[welp, add talking cats to the list she needs to study about.]

Um...I-I don't think there really is a purpose?

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