entranceway | eighth galaxy [video]

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eighth galaxy [video]

[The camera opens on Shepard standing against a display wall, with a bunch of chatter going on behind her. There's some text displayed, but it's too big to be seen through the limited scope of the video. She smiles, and mock salutes with two fingers.]

Gotta say, out of all the things Wonderland could've drawn from for me, this is probably the best end of the deal. So hey everybody, welcome to the Citadel. Yes, you're in space. No, you don't need a suit unless you wanna go outside, and I wouldn't recommend it.

[She swaps the video feed for a few moments to outside her surroundings, showing a crowded view of the Silversun Strip, and then back to her face.]

The Citadel's the hub of galactic government in my universe. Lots to do, lots to see. You've probably all got omni-tools, but they're pretty basic to learn. In general, try to stay away from any places that look seedy, and if it's illegal where you come from, it's probably illegal here. Otherwise, go wild. If you need directions, the holographic terminals are VI information guides. Ask 'em whatever. Or, y'know, you've got the extranet in the palm of your hands, so you can just search it yourself.

[She looks like she's gonna stop, and then grins a little bit wider.]

Oh, and one more thing...

[She steps away from the wall to show she's standing in front of a display sign. A very particular display sign.]

I re-maxed my high score at the Armax combat arena. I'll buy anyone who can beat me without cheating a free meal. Good luck.

[She winks, and cuts the feed.]

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The problem with keeping it is that any part of a Reaper, even derelict or separated from the host ship, can indoctrinate someone. Keeping it's incredibly dangerous. But... if our next stop exists yet, they should have a piece kept under a containment field. As long as the lab's there, I can make up some Spectre bullshit to get us in. I just know timeline-wise that I didn't end up there for another two years. There's a possibility the piece isn't there yet... though there might be one other place to look.

[She remembers there was an artifact found in Udina's office, too, but getting in there with a random scientist would be a lot harder, seeing as she's never liked Udina and she's pretty sure Udina has never liked her.]

You got what you need here? I don't wanna give security more time to figure out what I'm accessing unless they decide to get uppity.

Some overcomplicated bullshit i-is what that is. Fucking clever, not, not leaving a safe corpse, i-it's like those beetles that explode when they die. Motherf-fuckers.

[He taps his omnitool and the hologram fades.]

Yeah, I got what I needed. Let's s-see this piece of wormfuck, i-if it exists.

We've got those too, by the way. Rachni explode into acid if you don't take 'em from a distance.

[The universe is a horrifying place my dude. But she closes down the terminal, makes sure it's wiped, and takes a quick glance around before motioning him to follow her back out the way they came to the car, kicking it into gear quickly when they're there. She has no idea if her stuff's being monitored for working with Cerberus or not, but at least she'll only need to avoid flags on her fake accounts for a few days.]

Just promise me you're not going to look at this thing and start calling it your overlord or anything. The only cure for indoctrination is a bullet to the head.

Hahaha holy fuck.

[He follows her, deftly avoiding mocking any of the staff, and rolls his eyes at the suggestion that he might be down for mindfuck.]

Please, i-if it came to that I'd fucking do it myself. I've inoculated myself against s-s-seven different kinds of mind control and I'm fucking positive I can come up with a vaccine for this piece of shit spacebug too.

Hey, I believe you, but the warning should be out there. It's not that I don't trust you, I've just never seen anybody develop an individual cure for this thing. I've seen people resist it, take longer to turn, or break it for minutes at a time. There are ways to put barriers around it on pieces, too, but... once the corrosion is done, it's done.

[She flies down the middle of the presidium, thinking about what she's seen. Matriarch Benezia begging to be killed for what she's done. Saren, raising the gun to his own head as he forces his arm under his chin. Udina, screaming in front of the skycar, his plan foiled. People degraded, taken away from themselves. She's been through more Reaper presence than most, herself-- who knows how close she is on some invisible meter to where she might stop fighting.]

It's just rough to see. I wouldn't want to have to take you out for a situation I got you in.

W-Well you have full fucking permission to blow my brains out if I get all mind-fucked.

[Seriously, he'd rather be dead for a few days than beholden to some dumbass spacebugs.]

If y-you've been around them so much how come you're not affected? There must be some, some kind of im-MUURRRRHHH-unity.

Same.

[That's all that probably needs to be said on the matter. She'd rather be dead than beholden to the Reapers. The damage she could do, from her position... it's too much to think about. So she won't, and addresses his next question instead.]

Honestly, I haven't the slightest. I'm going with a mix of pure dumb luck, my body being 60% cybernetics, and the fact that every time I think about a Reaper I'm consumed entirely by spite.

Spite's a powerful fu-fucking thing. Y-You can go real far on nothing but spite.

[Like waging an entire war, or planning the downfall of an entire government.]

Trust me, I fuckin' know it.

[She pulls the skycar down suddenly, and around to a grassy landing pad outside of a long string of glass doors, climbing out as soon as it's landed.]

Looks like the lab's here. Let's see if anyone's inside.

[She steps towards the door and it opens automatically as her omni-tool makes a small 'ping', proving her access codes were still active. She scans the lab space proper at first, and then takes a sharp left through a small hallway into a much bigger, lofted room... and to exactly what she's looking for, sitting in the containment field like always.]

Bingo. That's what we were here to find. Bona-fide Reaper bit, in a containment field. If someone shows up, I'll do the talking.

[Sweet, something he kind of recognizes. A good and proper lab, looking all lab-like and such. He follows her inside, trying to act unassuming for once in his life, since this is gonna be the really important shit.]

[And then there it is, and Rick drops any pretense and grins like the total fucking madman he is.]

Oh hellllll fucking yes.

[Fuck yes space bugs, fuck yes getting to destroy eventual space bugs, fuck yes science and experimentation and shit.]

Aw man this is gonna b-b-be fun.

[He goes to the nearest console to download whatever data they already have, then pulls out a few other scientific-looking devices. He scans and analyzes the containment field.]

I'm gonna make a hole in the f-field, just for a minute. You can shoot me if I act like I wanna start sucking space bug dick or wh-whatever.

[Frankly, she is intent to let him do his job, seeing as she's passed on as much expertise as she has in the situation.]

Few minutes shouldn't kill you, if I'm anything to go by. Just make sure it's fixed when you're done.

[The image of Rick trying to suck a Reaper's dick will persist in her memory until then as she tries not to laugh. It'd be like, the size of a building. Dear god.]

[Listen, Rick has done weirder things.]

[In any case, Rick waves a weird science thing at the containment field and a small tear opens, allowing him to reach through. He can't really feel anything weird, except for a vague compulsion to stare at the chunk of bug meat, but that might just be normal. He runs a quick biological scan with his own tools, takes a biopsy and sets the tests to auto-run, then destroys the biopsy sample.]

[And that's about it. He waves the device again and the containment field slides back closed. Then he turns back to Shepard with a wide grin.]

Done and McFucking done. Can't analyze it till the e-e-event's over and I've got my lab again, but I'm basically a thousand percent positive I c-can come up with a vaccine and a weapon.

[Shepard crosses her arms, facing slightly away from Rick so she can keep her eye on the door, but she can't help but watch him work a little bit, seeing what sort of tests he's doing. He does, thankfully, carefully destroy the sample, which is good, because like hell she'd want to fight him for it.]

That'd be great, but I won't blame you if you can't. It's a hard thing to crack, but to be fair, we've never had a lot of time to study them with many resources. If anyone's gonna hit it, it's you.

[He steps away from the containment field, automatically making several backups of all the data as he does so.]

J-Just call me Rick the Orkin Man, cauuuuuuse I'm gonna deal with this, this spacebug pest problem, l-like they're just, they're termites.

[Rick that was so terrible please stop.]

[She laughs, despite herself. Goddamnit.]

Alright, that was terrible. C'mon, get in the car, I'll buy you a drink.

[And it's a little... sappy, but she feels like it needs to be said.]

And thanks for remembering. Really. I know you don't have to do this, but I appreciate it.

As long as it's alien.

[He's gotta try all the alien liquors around here at least once.]

[Also fuck she's getting all emotional when it's not like he did anything particularly special. Ugh ugh ugh ugh now he feels all weird.]

Y-Yeah, whatever, s-save the thanks for when this, this actually works, or whatever.

[She reaches out and knocks her knuckles against his shoulder, like a punch without any kind of force.]

Hey, you’re the one who’s Mr. Confidence here. C’mon, the Asari have some really fancy wines. You’ll love ‘em.

Alright, alright, s-s-save the buddy cop mush for someone else.

[He'd never admit it, but it's kinda nice. Two assholes out to wreck shit and also maybe save a world or something. He doesn't really get to feel like a hero all that often. Hell, it's hardly something he seeks out anymore. All that heroism bullshit just gets people killed and ruins live--Shepard's the perfect example.]

Fuck yeah. Lead the way, Shep.

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eighth galaxy [video]

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