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[ The words that he dragged across his tongue just yesterday still sting, the goodbye throbbing where once her name rested safely, where the taste of her was like wine and burnt sunshine and home. Sitting in front of Regina, right there next to the fireplace where they'd had their picnic not long ago, he'd wanted nothing more than to simply reach out and take her hands in his, capture her lips in a kiss that could convey the truth he's trying so desperately to bury for the sake of honor.

He's doing the right thing, but he's hurting the woman he loves, so it hardly feels like the right thing at all. It feels very much like drowning slowly.

For a moment, he hopes that telling her his feelings for her are real, and that he loved Marian might be enough to convey where his heart truly lies; but to what end? It's selfish to give Regina any sort of hope at all, because he has to stay true to his vows. When he walks away from her, he's leaving his heart behind, right there in that room where they'd once been so happy, and only with his back to her does he allow the tears to fall.

When he wakes that the morning, he's in a room far away from Storybrooke, from Roland and Marian.

Wonderland.

Marian isn't here.

For a moment, a selfish thought takes hold of him again, and he contemplates rushing to Regina's room and kissing her as deeply as he'd truly wanted to kiss her in her office as he forced himself to let her go.

No.

He's a good man now. An honorable man.

Which means, of course, that he has to let her go again.

More than anything, he needs people; friends, and...anyone, to distract himself from the crushing weight bearing down on his heart. But he needs to talk to Regina first, and he has no idea how long he's been gone. ]

Regina. [ He almost calls her love, as he has been lately, but catches himself quickly. ] I'm...not quite sure how long I've been away. Can we talk?

[ There are so many people he wants to see right now, and he'll connect with them, or they'll get to him first. But after speaking with Regina, he decides to broadcast to the network at large. ]

I was wondering who else out there had been sent home and then returned to Wonderland? I'm separated from my son again, and I miss him terribly, but I have this fleeting sense of relief at the moment. It's sure to pass by tomorrow, and it must make me sound a bit mad.

Perhaps you've felt the same before, though, that being here is an escape from the troubles we've left behind?

[ He's just...never been relieved to be here before. And even though Regina is here, and everything is still terribly wrong, he has the benefit of being able to truly think about everything that's happened. ]

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[They never quite sync up, do they? When he arrived, he'd been ahead of her by an entire year. When she caught up to him, she passed him by. It had only been a matter of days, perhaps a few weeks at most and yet so much had happened that it may as well have been another year. Now it's his turn to pass her by, though neither message hints as much as to when he'd returned from.]

It's been a week, [She confirms that first, if only to give him some peace of mind.] is everything okay in Storybrooke?

[Deflectiiiiing.]

I'm in my room.

[ NOTHING IS OKAY REGINA. ]

Not...particularly. I'll be there in a moment so we can talk.

[ He's already full of self-loathing, and it's an effort just to knock on her door, because he can't bear to do this to her again. It's different here, somehow, and this conversation won't be quite the same as it was in Storybrooke. A half-hearted, tired smile plays on his lips. ]

[She doesn't bother answering, instead waits for him to make his way to her door. There's an idea floating around her head of exactly what's wrong, and she hopes it's the only thing wrong at home. They hardly need more to worry about with Pan and Zelena preying on them here.]

You look like you could use a drink.

[It's said in lieu of a greeting, and perhaps telling enough, in lieu of a kiss. Ushering him into the room, she tries -- and fails -- to put a smile on her face.]

[ That he doesn't reach for her in any way is also quite telling, given how tactile he normally is with her. It's certainly not because he doesn't want to. He just...can't. Something that looks like the ghost of a smile flickers on his lips, then falls away as he nods and steps inside. ]

Has everything been alright here? Are you and Henry alright?

[ Small talk, because...when he did this in Storybrooke, she knew why he was there. Now, he has to kind of...warm up to it. ]

[The tension in the room is almost palpable, as she follows him further in. She's thankful he asks about Henry instead of launching into what she thinks is coming immediately.]

It's been quiet, or what passes for it in Wonderland. Even Zelena is keeping to herself lately.

[Which can't bode well for anyone.]

It's Henry's birthday next week.

[ Henry seems to be a safe, easy subject, and Robin does brighten a bit to hear news of the young lad's birthday. Crossing his hands in front of him, he pauses, just looking at her. ]

I'm glad to hear it.

Is there to be a celebration of any sort for Henry? If I can help at all, I'd be glad to, I care about your lad quite a lot.

[Robin, why on earth would you say that. She's so sure she knows what's coming that any reminder of the connections he made with both her and Henry hurts.]

Emma's planning something, so you'd have to ask her.

[She's not actually bitter, though.]

Robin...

[She trails off, a frown marring her features.]

You didn't come here to talk about Henry.

[ He's not even thinking, and he should be, but a part of him wants to retain some normalcy, even knowing logically that it's not possible. ]

I didn't. I'm sorry.

[ His voice is a little shaky, and this is clearly a struggle for him. ]

I came to talk about my wife, she's...returned, quite unexpectedly.

Your wife.

[The dead is left unsaid, but her tone is full of disbelief. Or as much of it she can fill it with when she already knows.]

I think you need to start at the beginning.

[That'll give her time to formulate a response.]

[ The worst thing is that for a moment, his instinct is to reach out and take her hands, a touch that's come so naturally to him these last few months with her. They were sitting down together in Storybrooke when he did this, in front of the fireplace where they'd made out. It might almost be better to remain standing now, because he knows this will be short, mostly because just like before, he'll have to leave quickly to keep her from seeing the tears that will inevitably fall from his eyes. ]

Emma and Hook went through a portal that transported them back in time to the Enchanted Forest. I know little of all the details, and frankly the most important thing is that...Marian was brought back with them.

[ By now, Marian has already told him that she was being held captive by the Evil Queen and prepared for execution. So it's all fun and wonderfully complicated. ]

Regina, I need you to know, without a doubt at all, that my feelings for you haven't gone away, they...can't. They're real, and everything we've shared here together has been...wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. [ He takes a shaky breath. ] But I told you in Storybrooke, and I must tell you now that I....have to honor my vows to Marian.

[Objectively Regina knows that Marian is alive and that she had been the one to kill her in the original version of events. She doesn't remember Marian, not even a little, she was just another body in the already immeasurable parade of corpses. Objectively, Regina has dealt with these facts and dealt with them as best she can. (Not at all.) But hearing it, actually hearing from the man that she loves that his wife is alive again is like a punch to the gut.

She thought she was ready to hear it.

She wasn't.]

You're a good man, Robin. [And that's why this hurts. Someone so good could see past the Evil Queen and see Regina and loved (loves?) her.] You're always going to do the right thing.

[No matter how much it hurts.]

I should come clean too, then.

[ Despite his relatively calm facade, Robin's face is tense, his eyes dark and almost hollow. It's strange; he almost wishes he could feel numb to the pain, but it wouldn't be fair to Regina, who's hurting just as much as he is, he assumes. He's grateful, at least, that she's reacting fairly well, but he still has to struggle not to simply take her into his arms.

When she mentions coming clean, he feels the vice around his heart tighten, wondering what else could possibly be wrong. ]

What is it?

[Regina could claim that she withheld the information for Robin's sake, that she was keeping him from getting his hopes up in the event that Wonderland never returned him the Storybrooke. She could claim it until the Jabberwocky returned and Wonderland shattered but it still wouldn't be true.]

Shortly after Emma returned to Wonderland... [She pauses, sucking in a breath.] she accidentally told me everything. About Zelena, and about Marian.

[Let that sink in for a moment.]

[ There is no point in asking why she has withheld that information. The conversation they're having right now is precisely why. He is disappointed and slightly hurt that she hasn't told him until now, yet he also understands her motivation for doing so, which leaves him conflicted.

The tension on his face only deepens as he struggles with how to respond. ]

You could have told me, Regina.

Edited 2014-11-29 05:51 (UTC)

And what would you have done?

[It's a simple enough question. As much as everybody likes to claim that they'll be able to change the future once they escape Wonderland, they've made no headway on that front. It's a nice idea, but that's all it is.]

[ She has a point. He didn't remember Wonderland when he left for home, so whatever she might have told him would have remained here. ]

Little, I suppose, but I would have liked the chance to talk about it prior to all of this.

[ But he's not the sort to dwell in the past, and it's hard to say if it would have changed his decision. He sighs heavily. ]

This isn't...at all how I wanted things to be, you have to know that.

[He too has a point, she should have said something. There had been times she'd wanted to and didn't, for fear of this exact conversation.]

Nobody can be expected to account for time travel.

[It isn't an attempt at levity - it's merely the reality of the situation.]

It's the only choice you could've made, Robin.

[This time, she stands and moves away. The urge to give him one last kiss, to end things on a semi-positive note is there, but she can't. He made his choice and it wasn't her. She has to respect that, if nothing else.]

[ He has that same urge, to reach out lightly for her hand, to pull her back to him and kiss her. But he can't falter, he's already told her that he has to uphold his honor, and he has to be fair to her.

He's hurt her enough - twice now - and he can't bear to linger and catch the sadness in her eyes again. ]

I hope, perhaps, you can understand.

[ He has to say it again, because this Regina hasn't heard it, and he needs...something to part with. But just like he'd done in Storybrooke, he has to leave swiftly, otherwise he will falter. ]

I should go.

[ For now, just for now, he hopes, because he can't bear the thought of her being completely removed from his life, which...probably isn't fair of him. ]

[I should go.

She wants to tell him to go, get out of her life and leave her alone. She wants to be alone in her grief, to mourn the end of the relationship in peace. She wants, well, a lot of things.

What she needs is everything Tinker Bell promised her all those years ago, that fateful night she ran from the tavern. What she needs is what's being taken from her, and isn't that how it always goes. Regina doesn't get to be happy, because villains don't get happy endings.]

Yes, you should.

[She doesn't turn to face him, can't.]

Goodbye, Robin.

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