entranceway | ▲ 3rd Cipher ▲

[Maybe no one is ready to rally up and take arms against the Authority of this dimension just yet, but for as little time as he has been in Wonderland, Bill can’t say his plans are off to a terrible start. Despite the last few uh…. Hiccups he’s had with the Pines family and their entourage, his mission to spread doubt about the Queen and display himself as the stronger entity was going fairly strong. Having a few followers and deals isn’t enough, though. He has to make good on his word. To be the better deity, you have to show why you’re better. And Bill believes he knows just how.

Residents of Wonderland will wake up to find this text on their screens; though only words, the script itself seems to have a life of its own, fizzling, glitching and popping all over is the phrase:

ALRIGHT FOLKS, LISTEN UP, because I’m NOT SAYING it AGAIN— Unless you WASTE your ONE QUESTION on it, WHICH I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO!

As we all KNOW, WONDERLAND is a land that VALUES INFORMATION, so I’m setting up a VERITABLE BUFFET of the STUFF and OFFERING you all ONE CHANCE to GLIMPSE into the KALEIDOSCOPIC ANARCHY that LIES BEYOND. For the FIRST TIME IN THOUSANDS OF YEARS sink your GREEDY TEETH into your BRAINS and ask me WHATEVER comes to MIND. I’ll use my TALENTS to find an ANSWER.

[Though… no one says they have to be true answers]

Her HEARTINESS has a HOLD on SPECIFIC KNOWLEDGE, so don’t go COMPLAINING if you get SHORTCHANGED, PAL. I’m doing MY PART you don’t like the VAGUERY, TAKE IT UP with the ORGAN IN CHARGE!!

SO go AHEAD, ask me ANYTHING! Ask about YOUR FUTURE- THAT GUY’S FUTURE, THE FUTURE OF YOU IN A PARALLEL DIMENSION WHICH IS ALSO ASKING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE! ASK why that ONE star is SLIGHTLY more OFF CENTER than the REST!!

[Attached is a video where the camera pans to sky in question. . . . . . and stays on it for an uncomfortable amount of time. “See? Gonna.. Gonna bug you now isn't it--”--]

My ANSWERS may not always pertain to YOUR current REALITY! DON’T go LOSING any SLEEP over it I’LL NOTICE
Actually do- that stuff is HILARIOUS!

I don’t offer these DEALS every day, so show that GREED you’re all SO FAMOUS FOR. I’LL BE HERE!!

[Finally, a giant paragraph of text regarding terms and conditions flies across the screen, mostly full of nonsense about non-binding deals and including the phrase 'No, Not!Pinetree, you can't have any more weaknesses until you stick those jalapenos in your eyes.']

OOC: For those not in the know, the creator of Bill’s canon actually did an IC AMA once and it’s the best thing ever. Bill is the literal All- Seeing-Eye and IS capable of being omniscient, if you want to ask about your characters own canons he CAN conceivably answer certain things-- but, as stated, his answers might not pertain your character’s Universe so you can always disregard anything you don’t agree with.
Bill may answer in riddles, try to get around the question, or just argue that your question is stupid, although if there is something specific you want and I’m not taking the hint, you can always PM me too!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So. More a quiz-master than a genie.

I thought you'd at least be supposed to combine that with two truths and one lie.

[The video might be rolling on Leonard's end but the screen that greets him will remain text based as ever... apart from the fact that a voice begins to narrate whatever is being typed.]

"I've LONG SINCE given up EXPECTING ANYONE to DIFFERENTIATE the TWO. Depending on WHICH REALITY your REFERRING and ONE'S PERSPECTIVE, the IDEA that there IS any TRUTH is the GREATEST LIE OF ALL!

BUT you're SMARTER than that AREN'T ya, LENNY?"

[The text screen shifts to something else; a single long-lashed eye.]

"BEEN A WHILE. Looks like GENOSHA ain't the ONLY place you like to LAY LOW under the RADAR."

Yeah, I'm a subtle guy.

[Not exactly, but he's not that particular on that right now. He can be subtle anyway.]

I'm smarter than anything that naive, sure. That's your first question. You got two left.

[Two can play that game.]

"OHO! TWO QUESTIONS for LUCKY ME!"

[And he is ever so careful to phrase it in such a way as to not use one up on stupidly exclaiming over it.]

"Not OFTEN I'm on the OTHER END of this SCHTICK. JUST because I OWE ya one, I WON'T EVEN READ YOUR BRAIN."

[However tough it is to ignore the fact, when one is practically omniscient.]

"WHEN YOU FIRST ARRIVED, YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT TIMELINES; the TIMESTREAM. INTERESTING choice of SUBJECT. Something you DEALT with OFTEN where you're from?"

Thanks.

[It's said drily, since he feels that telling him to never go anywhere near his brain would be pointless.]

Depends on your definition of often. I travelled through time. Dealt with Time Masters. Shot a few of them.

“WHEN YOU’RE MESSING with TIME, “OFTEN” is a LIE of PERCEPTION, LEN.”

[But, he suspects you know that. He visibly perks at the news, he knew he liked you bud.]

“SOUNDS like a PARTY. I DEMOLISHED a BEING OF TIME MYSELF, RATHER SATISFYING, I HAVE TO SAY. What was the MOTIVATION?”

I don't like to be anyone's puppet and they'd played with me for a little too long.

[Getting what he did to them, he doubts they expected that.]

You had a motivation too.

"I DID."

[There is a pause and Bill can't help but laugh at Len's resourceful phrasing. Someone wants to not waste his questions!]

"TIME is such a POMPOUS CONCEPT, WHERE does it GET OFF thinking it shares ANY ASPECT with SPACE?! NEVER DID anything for ME, that's for SURE. MEANINGLESS is WHAT IT IS. I wanted to IMPROVE IT. Bet your TIME MASTERS were every BIT as ARROGANT.

LET ME GUESS; they wanted to STOP you from CHANGING something. Saying CERTAIN THINGS are 'MEANT to HAPPEN'? What IS, should BE?"

There are no strings on me.

[He closes his eyes for just a moment, because no matter the circumstances, it's strange to hear himself repeat his last words. Wonderland lacking all reason once more.]

You got it. Also, you're out of questions. For someone running it, you're really bad at this game.

"JOKES ON YOU; I ran OUTTA questions FAR before that LAST ONE!"

[Or at least what someone would grammatically label as a question as opposed to a defined query. Bill stares Snart down as the words fall into place, his bemused expression belying the genial tone in his voice.]

"I'm a GUY who makes his OWN RULES LENNY, you should KNOW THAT about me!"

[Or did a human masquerading as a mutant to evade the law strike you as the more honest sort?]

"NEVERMIND that YOU'VE DEVISED this LITTLE GAME all in the NAME of MAKING ME AGREE to answering MORE THAN ONE QUESTION, as INITIALLY OFFERED."

[He can respect that level of haggling.]

"BUT.. you do LEARN FAST. HAVEN'T FALSELY DROPPED A QUESTION AT ALL! Tell you what, I'll PLAY FAIR and LET YOU WEIGH IN with BOTH your QUERIES. Think of IT as a COMMENDATION for your SKILL."

You say you make your own rules, but I gotta disappoint you. Jokes on you again.

[He just smiles, leaning back, hand wrapping around his upper arm casually, feeling the fabric of his jacket between his fingers.]

I find my own answers. Haven't got any questions for you.

But I'll keep them for a rainy day.

[Bill narrows his eye a moment. Did... did you seriously just trick him into hanging out? GREAT!]

"AH. EVER the MAKER of your OWN HAPPINESS. DOING things the HARD WAY. You really ARE no DIFFERENT here than in GENOSHA!"

[It's said with a touch of admiration rather than outright mockery, though with Bill's ever-present jovial tone it wasn't always easy to tell the two apart. The mutant who chose to live in squalor and earn his riches rather than embracing the higher lifestyle he was entitled to; that was Leonard.]

"CAN'T SAY I USUALLY TAKE IOU's..."

[If Snart catches his drift. He isn't directly saying he won't either, circumstances depending.]

[There's a frown, but only for a moment. As strange as Bill is now, even in a different shape - ha! - he hasn't been that much less strange. The revelation that they are one and the same throws him less than it perhaps should have.]

Can't say I care what you usually do. With me, you will.

[Yet another statement and he simply smiles.]

"DON'T BE SO SURE OF THAT. That kind of BRASH BEHAVIOR may WIN OTHERS OVER but I'M not so EASILY CONVINCED. Not just ANYONE can make DEMANDS of ME."

[We're not that friendly just yet.]

"I DO however LIKE the OCCASIONAL CHALLENGE. Don't disappoint me."

[You have some leverage, see that you use it in as entertaining a way as possible.]

"BE SEEING ya, SNART."

▲ 3rd Cipher ▲

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