entranceway | ask me anything, text - ota (backdated to yesterday)

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ask me anything, text - ota (backdated to yesterday)

Tweedledee just appeared in my room out of thin air, and we had a good chat while she ate some cookies. ama.

and just in case you don't feel like it, the gist was if people don't die Wonderland will implode. Memories are good, death is better - more fuel for the Core. So.

it was casual girl talk tuesday.

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( clementine's anger deflates almost immediately in place of all those other emotions she's feeling. her arms fold over her own chest defensively. she swallows thickly, shaking her head. )

Yeah, I can't think of a reason for her to be an asshole about this either. Not like it benefits her for us to know this. Not like it benefits anyone for us to know this.

( are people going to be less careful or more careful now? people dying keep the core going, but it also steals parts of you until you become the queen's. )

Is there any way we can know if the core's about to blow?

( then what? are they going to run around killing each other? )

So, I did some digging in the archives and apparently one time it got pretty dicey? And everyone had to throw things into the Core that held a ton of sentimental value and memories. But if people got too close then the Core took everything from them short of killing them outright.

[ What a hell of a time. ]

I guess everyone rallied even if it wasn't, you know. Mass murder, and it helped.

( clementine nods, folding her arms across her chest. most people here do seem like they- they're not like the people from her world. they haven't reached that level of survival yet, but if the core was in danger all the time? she can't say it'd still be the case. )

That's good to know. I just don't want the Core to be in danger all the time, because people do all kinds of shit when- when survival's on the line.

( it's constant. )

This was supposed to be my home. ( and maybe she can't sit in the sidelines anymore, just trying to survive each event. maybe she has to be a part of it so she can make it better. )

I don't know if things are going to change. I don't even know if everything we've heard is the truth. I just know that for as guarded as we've been, we have to stay that way, and for as complacent as we can all get...

[ Sarah looks at Clementine and lets out a soft breath. She feels so bad for her, this kid who apparently had a home life so terrible that Wonderland seemed like the better option. She thinks she's seen her face on the network before, but can't quite remember. ]

What does knowing what the Core actually uses to function change? Unless it stops working, I mean.

( it changes this place for clementine, but it's not the first information that has this event. all their deaths lead to serving someone else. and no one stays forever-- people get sent back all the time to stay (iris, anders, more). can she really ignore everything and stay hidden during all this shit anymore? she breathes out shakily even as she manages to keep a lid on most of her reaction- her fear, all of it.

she half doesn't want to say her own fear because it's fucked up.)

I haven't died yet. I don't know if I've even forgot anything, and I've been here over a year.

What if not being as useful to fueling the fucking core means it just sends us back? And how fucked up is it that that's how we're able to be useful to keeping this place around?

( to matter. when she stumbled on that group- the group in the cabin, she knew she had to prove herself useful so they wouldn't completely abandon her or kill her on sight for having a bite on her arm. and she did. she went up against walkers, she went up against carver multiple times. she's not just a little girl. she's a valuable little girl. )

I've been here over a year, too. I have no weird life at home, no monsters, not apocalypse, just normal life. I'm a single mom, the most exciting thing that happens is trying not to be late picking up my kid. I've never died here, either. So as far as 'usefulness' goes, it has to be deeper than that. Otherwise, I'd be out, there's no way Wonderland would keep me.

[ She's given up thinking it might be for her memories because there's literally nothing - good or bad - exciting enough to inflict on anyone here. But the other thing Clementine says is...well. ]

The actual fucked up part [ WHAT if a kid is saying SARAH CAN TO ] is that we have no consent to any of this. It isn't our choice, we've been forced to be sacrifices for this place one way or another.

I'm sorry you're away from your kid.

( Clementine says that part first. She's met at least one other person who has a kid back home that they're apart from. It must be hard. It must be a really intense reason for wanting to get back. )

Yeah, that is fucked up. Maybe it's because they know only really desperate people would consent, because being used for your ability to die and to give memories is-

It's shitty.

Thank you. For saying that.

[ She's not the only one away from their child, so she tries to be strong about it, to know he's okay and not missing her. ]

It's beyond shitty. No one would volunteer to die. No one sane, anyway. And this place knows it too that's why it tries to kill us all the time. On an even shittier note, it's not like we can just hole up and not die.

What's your kid's name?

( She doesn't know if it's easier or harder to talk about it, but she cares so she asks. It makes her wonder what her parents were going through in their final moments when they knew the world was going to shit, and they couldn't get back to her. )

I try to hole up and hide almost every time. I've learned a lot about how to survive, but- ( She lets out a breath. ) I don't know if that's an option anymore for a lot of reasons.

( Not just this one. )

Sawyer. He's ten by now.

[ Sarah does smile just a little. ]

My family likes it better when I hide during events. The problem is, if all of us do that and stay behind locked doors, eventually the Core will start to run out of fuel. Then what would we all do?

( Clementine was eleven when she showed up in Wonderland. Technically, she's twelve by now. It's young though. Ten is young. It's good time doesn't stop back where they're from. )

Start throwing in memories like before or choosing people to kill.

( If it's really dangerous, people can do anything, including kill to survive. )

Thanks for letting all of us know. I'd rather have the truth even when it's shitty.

So would I. I just...wish I had something better for everyone. A part of me was hoping I'd be the one with something good to turn this all around.

But instead, it's just been one crappy revelation after another.

[ And she's honestly exhausted by all of it. She has no idea how other people aren't, too. ]

Maybe that means we get a break from the crappy revelations for awhile. That'd be good.

( She smirks a bit. They can hope. )

Thanks again. I'm Clementine.

God, that'd be really nice.

[ She smiles a little. ]

That's a pretty name. It's nice to meet you. I'm Sarah.

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ask me anything, text - ota (backdated to yesterday)

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