entranceway | [video] Astral Pumpkin

Okay okay okay okay. So I know there's an event coming up and we're all freaking out about it, and it's probably gonna be horrible like usual, but I gotta say this before we get too deep into October. So, you know how Halloween is the best holiday, and October is the best month, and autumn is the best season, and all that? And you know how the best thing about all of those is...

[Dramatic pause.]

Pumpkins, obviously. I was thinking, we definitely need to have a pumpkin chunking competition.

[She grins like a wild person.]

So for the uninitiated, pumpkin chunking is when you build something that can launch things--like a catapult, or a trebuchet, or a giant slingshot, or a cannon, and so on--and then you compete to see how far the thing you built can launch a pumpkin. It's literally the best thing, after Halloween and autumn leaves. Since I figure most people don't really know how to build stuff like that, people could team up. You could have team names and give your pumpkin chunker a name like they do with monster trunks. I mean trucks. The only rules is you can't use anything gas powered--it has to all be mechanical. And you also can't, like, murder people with pumpkins.

And knowing Wonderland, there's probably gonna be some crazy ass shit happening for Halloween, but I figure we can pick a day near then and that's when we have the competition. We can roll out our stuff to the checkerboard hills and launch from there, that way we got wide open space and people won't get hit by flying pumpkins.

[She gives the camera a really eager look.]

Whaddaya guys think?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mechanical advantage only! No cheating!

That sounds like something someone afraid of losing to my superior arm strength would say.

That sounds like something someone afraid of losing to my superior brain would say.

How superior will your brain be once I dump pumpkin goo on it?

Ah, so you're daydreaming again.

Have to catch me first.

I know where you sleep and where most of your booby traps are.

Correction: where they were.

I have x-ray vision. I can find the new ones.

He says like I haven't prepared for that.

[UUUUUUUUGH, WHEN DID YOU GET X-RAY VISION, DUDE??]

Also super fast reflexes. I can dodge.

You're going to feel extremely silly when you do fall victim to one of my dastardly plans.

Dastardly? Wow, are you turning into a supervillain now?

You know how these things go. One day you're kicking bad guy butt, and the next you've been Starro'ed or Hatter'ed and you're playing for the other team.

Do you think I'd look good in black?

No, you'd look like Batman in black, and that'd be weird.

[A beat.]

A very short Batman.

video

mrsarcastic003 - 2017-10-28 03:22 (UTC) - Expand

cloned - 2017-10-28 16:18 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2017-12-05 06:15 (UTC) - Expand

No, it sounds like someone who wants this fun competition to be fair for everyone even if they don't have--like, what is it, super strength or something?

Super strength and some other things. And that guy's my best friend.

[So the real reason he's saying it is because he's a jerk, and Kon's response is pretty much the same.]

Ohhhh. Okay, that makes sense.

[She's like that with Gregg.]

So you literally have super strength? Cause that's rad, even if I'm not gonna let you use it to throw pumpkins.

Yep, I've benched tanks before. It's not even that hard, except they're pretty awkwardly balanced.

[That is the hard part about benching tanks, of course.]

So you're just straight up a superhero.

Yep. They don't call me Superboy just because of my super good looks.

Your name is Superboy? Wow, that's kinda on the nose, huh.

Hey, I'm a clone of Superman. What should I call myself, Bob?

I mean, I dunno, it's up to you I think. Just cause you're a clone doesn't mean you don't get to choose, I think that was a double negative, but you get what I mean.

[But it's complicated in ways he doesn't really know how to explain. He doesn't even really want to explain since his identity is a weird, uncomfortable ache sometimes that's deeply personal. He was Superboy before he was anything else, unless you count the brief point when he wanted everyone to call him Superman. He has other names now. Kon-El. Conner Kent. But he was Superboy first. Everything else came later.]

Whatever, being Superboy is awesome. I wouldn't want any other name.

Well hell yeah, dude, that's a choice. There you go. Rad.