one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

[scathefires]

[Jason woke up inside the mansion, gave it all a cursory look-through, and promptly noped the hell on out of there. Ain’t nobody got time for this Wonderland theme park bullshit - especially not the Red Hood.

Of the available options, the forest seemed like the best way out, so that’s where Jason is now, trampling through the brush, snapping twigs underfoot as he mutters his complaints into the comm device:]

This would be going a lot easier if there had been any vehicles worth taking …

[The sounds of movement stop, and Jason sighs loudly. He is Officially Lost, and he wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, so he’s understandably a little tense in addressing whoever might be listening.]

All right, this is officially stupid, and I don’t have time for stupid. Got much bigger fish to fry, so I’ll get right to the point. Whose head do I have to stuff in a duffel bag to get a map of the way out of here? Tick tock, losers, answer fast – Daddy doesn’t like being kept waiting.

Comments

text

[postictal]

i don’t want to have to explain daddy to them
do you

text

[scathefires]

pretty sure most kids know what a dad is

id even bet some of em have one

[postictal]

im not talking about dad
im talking about daddy

[scathefires]

look if youve got daddy issues im sure theres a trained professional around who could help you better than me

[postictal]

a) there isn’t
b) you’re the one who started calling himself daddy

[scathefires]

wow projecting much its a figure of speech

[postictal]

it's not projecting it's just the literal fact
we're kinda strapped for doctors here
of every variety

[scathefires]

[Jason's just gonna take a sec to drag a hand down his face, thanks.]

i meant youre really hung up on the daddy thing its a figure of speech and i dunno what you expect me to do about your literal shortage of doctors around here i didnt even finish high school

[postictal]

you asked

[It's not like he was specific about whether he was asking about daddy issues or doctors here, and Tim tries to avoid talking about the former whenever possible. Not that he's ever had to worry about thinking about that before, honestly, but after today he's making a resolution to never think about it again.]

i mean
not to burst your bubble here but
based on the kind of reaction you're getting i don't think i'm the only one who's hung up on it

[scathefires]

yeah i noticed

kinda lends credibility to that claim of being severely understaffed on doctors

[postictal]

oh yeah on that note i'm sure people have covered this already but
no way home
not purposefully

[scathefires]

so i keep hearing

im still not convinced

[postictal]

ok well please don't blow anything up or set anything on fire while you're coming to terms with it
we've had a few too many people try that already

[scathefires]

sounds like maybe you havent had enough people try it actually

[postictal]

yeah ok
the 23rd attempt to set the place on fire didn’t work so the 24th is sure to

[scathefires]

if at first you dont succeed

try harder

[postictal]

congratulations you solved the puzzle
you figured it out when no one else could
thank god you came along when you did because no one else has bothered trying to do exactly that before
praise jesus

[scathefires]

happy to help my friend

[postictal]

[Fine. Good. If he can’t convince him otherwise, the. At least he can give fair warning.]

word of advice
don’t target the library
it isn’t worth it

1/2

[scathefires]

why would i target a library

those books have never done anything wrong

[scathefires]

or have they

[postictal]

the librarian will destroy you and you’ll have been asking for it

[scathefires]

duly noted

is the librarian that serious about not talking too

just so i know what im up against

[postictal]

i think people have called her the scariest thing in wonderland and i think that’s for a good reason

[scathefires]

scary is subjective

what reason