entranceway | [video] grandpa got run over by a reindeer, morty

[Rick is here, and he's looking annoyed, which is pretty normal for him. What probably isn't normal is the reindeer antlers sprouting from his head. Also the several-dozen empty glass cases behind him in his lab.]

So I was running some tests on those m-mind control cookies annnnnd...

Long story short, there's about forty rats running around the mansion. They're harmless. Th-They're basically just gonna sing carols at you. At least two of them are singing that Adam Sandler Hanukkah song, and I have n-no idea where they got that one, everyone fucking hates Adam Sandler. Couldn't even fucking pick The Maccabeats or something.

Hey Pixar, sh-shoot me an email if you want the rights to the Jingle Rats. Or Dreamworks. Fuck, I'll even sell it to those pieces of shit at Illumination. Minions movie cashout, here I fucking come.

[He takes a drink from a huge glass of eggnog, which is probably mostly rum.]

Anyway, don't eat the cookies unless you want some whimsical, mindfucky bullshit to happen to you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, Kokichi found them alright.]

[He's gathered a chorus of at least 4 or 5 "Jingle Rats" and is now leading them in song:]

When you wish upon a star~
Makes no difference who you are~
Anything your heart desires will come to yoooouuu~

[Note that the song is a freaking Disney song, and the lead singer is currently around the rat's height. Cookies, man.]

[Rick twitches and whirls around to find the source of the singing. That doesn't sound quite like a rat.]

[Holy fuck there's a tiny human singing along with the rats. Why is this his life.]

Fuck, shut up!

[He smirks at the camera.]

What's that? You want more? Okay!

[And now they're singing Jingle Bells.]

[He lobs a glass beaker at the troupe. It shatters against the wall behind them.]

Fuck off before I stomp on all of you!

[All the rats scatter!]

Gah! Hey, that's not very nice! Don't you like music?

No, I hate everything!

[Another beaker gets thrown.]

And you're not a rat, y-you're just some fucking piece of shit elf!

H-Hey!

[Dodging the beakers here.]

I'll have you know, I'm actually a powerful fairy! And if you stop throwing beakers at me, I'll grant you a wish! Outside of escaping the mansion. I promise!

TELL LEANANSIDHE SHE STILL OWES ME THAT BOTTLE OF MEAD!

[Another beaker thrown!]

[Why do you hate music so much?]

I can't do that if she's not in Wonderland! Do you want to be cursed?!

YOU CAN'T BULLSHIT A BULLSHITTER, TINY FUCKWAD!

[He is now rushing forward with a really big beaker in the hopes of trapping Kokichi under the glass.]

Uh oh.

[KOKICHI IS GONNA RUN OFF NOW, OKAY? BYE.]

YEAH YOU'D BETTER RUN!

[Kokichi has left the building. Hope you're happy, Rick.]