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[ the video feed comes on looking up at jesse. he's sitting with his chair leaning back against the wall, feet up, device resting on his leg. he's not nearly as relaxed as he may look however(fake it until you make it??). he's seen and experienced some weird shit in his life so really, waking up in wonderland doesn't even place in his top ten. no his problem is more with the fact that he's here, and tulip is back in new orleans bleeding out ]

I've been hearing a bit about these closets. [ he knocks on the door of the closet just off-screen next to him ] I hear they can conjure up just about anything. That true? [ 'just about anything' doesn't mean 'anything' so ] What's the limit? What kinda things will I and won't I be able to make it give me?

[ he tried testing the closet out with a pack of cigarettes. dream big, preacher ]

And anything else worth knowing about Wonderland?

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Yeah I suppose they would, wouldn't they?

[ oh no help she's precious ]

No pressure or nothing. [ he grins ] You ask for blood. Like from the blood bags like you mentioned or asking actual people? [ it totally doesn't count if it's not on purpose. or if they deserve it. jesse's been on those situations himself before! ] Tell me, the whole sun thing... That an issue for you too?

People's what I meant. I don't like...not askin' anymore. It doesn't go so good if I don't.

[ God, it's like he's pulling a confession out of her, like he's some magic priest that makes you confess sins, no matter what. Maybe this means they need to quit talking about blood? Yeah, they need to quit talking about blood. ]

Um, yep! Sun's pretty bad for me. And stakes and silver and all that stuff. It the same for your kind of vampires? Seems like it's not always like that. One of the ones I know here is totally weird. He's, like, hurt by a plant. [ Pause. ] But maybe I am, too? Is wood still considered a plant...?

[ Her face goes blank for a moment. She's blowing her own mind.

Eventually, she shakes herself out of it. ]

I-I should shut up and let you answer first. Sorry.

[ well, some people do often feel comfortable talking to priests, even if jesse, himself, can sometimes come off as a little... unapproachable ]

Ain't silver for werewolves? [ if vampires are real, are werewolves? are there any here? ] Don't think it's the same for my kind, no. Not sure about stakes, neither. Just ran into the sun problem so far. Can't go out without catchin fire unless he's covered. [ for his best friend, jesse sure doesn't know a whole lot about cassidy ]

No, wood ain't considered a plant. [ probably? otherwise, furniture would still be considered a plant. houses, his church... ] Not once it's not a tree no more.

You sound like Kol. [ Don't mind the eye roll. ] Can't help I'm a more fucked up vampire than others. I cry blood, for fuck's sake.

[ ...So much for not cussing in front of him. Oh, well. He cussed already, so it's clearly totally fine! ]

That's me, though. [ Jazz hands! ] Freak of nature. Least parts of it are pretty cool.

Who's Kol? [ like, should he matter to jesse or...? ] So you're the kinda vampire who can't do silver? [ then, more to himself than to jessica: ] Maybe Cass is the same. Never thought to bother asking.

[ uhh, hm ] What the hell's the point of a vampire crying blood?

[ jessica can swear 'til her little heart's content. jesse's got no place to judge on that ]

What's good about it? [ that's not a judgmental sort of 'what's so good about it?' or anything. it's actual genuine curiosity ] 'Sides a long life and healing fast?

He's my main vampire... [ Well, she honestly doesn't know what he is. Friend? Friend with benefits? Vague father-figure she fucked one time? She'll...go with friend. ] Friend here. He's a way better vampire for sure.

[ He can drink, for one. Fuck. ]

And hell if I know why I cry blood! Guess Vampire God thought it'd be funny. [ She shrugs. ] Whatever. I get to run fast and see and smell good. I'm strong. Can control minds. Seems like that's normal stuff with all of us. Makes up for the cryin', I guess.

[ vague father-figure she fucked one time sure is an interesting description ] There's more vampires here than just you? Though, I mean, I guess it makes sense just as much as there bein more than one person here.

[ drinking is an important ability to have, if anyone asked jesse ]

Vampire God? [ his expression darkens a little and he shakes his head. it's not really directed at jessica though ] There's only one God. You're probably right about one thing though. Maybe He thought it was funny to fuck with you like that. Or there's the more likely answer, and that's that He don't give a shit about you or anyone else.

Well, yeah! Not many of us, though.

[ Then she laughs. ] And yeah, I know there's only the one. I'm just bein' dumb. Don't plan on talkin' to 'im again for a good long time, trust me.

[ She sighs, looking away. ] My livin' life was devoted to 'im. Not gonna do that with my dead one. Guess you can see why I was askin' if you were gonna make us confess.

[ sorry jesse just has some negative feelings on the subject of god ] Guess I can see why, yeah. [ and he can't really say that he blames her for the change of heart. even if god were still in heaven, would he still care about jessica as a vampire, anyway, like he's supposed to as a human? undead abomination and all that ]

Like I said though, you don't have nothin to worry about. I ain't here to take confessions or try to bring religion to Wonderland or whatever else people might think I'm here for.

[ After giving him a scrutinizing look, she smiles. He seems like good people. Definitely way cooler than she ever expected someone like him to be. ]

That's real good to hear, not gonna lie. Sorry for misjudgin' you.

[ There's a short hesitation. ]

Can I ask you somethin' kinda...weird?

[ personally, he'd argue that he's far from good people. but this is also a girl who knows nothing about him. hey maybe he makes a decent first impression! ]

It's fine. No need to apologize.

[ his brows furrow at her question. something kinda weird?? ]

Yeah go ahead. Ask whatever you want.

Can you jerk off?

[ The question's asked immediately and shamelessly. Maybe the word she'd been looking for before was "gross," or maybe "inappropriate." But who ever heard of a lying priest?

Like, whatever! She's curious! ]

I mean, I already know you're not one of them tight-ass priests. But I've always wanted to know if the whole [ --and she whispers the next word as if someone might hear them and gasp in horror-- ] celibacy thing keeps you from it.

[ well that's certainly not the question he thought she was going to ask. he can't be sure what he thought she might ask but, it wasn't that ]

Sure. [ him personally? or all priests? answer's probably the same, anyway ] Pretty sure at this point it's only the real devout who give up all sexual activity. Now it's mostly just sex and marryin.

[ he actually laughs at her ]

You mean to tell me you'll ask me about masturbatin but won't say celibacy out loud?

[ She winces immediately. ] Sorry! My daddy's got me all conditioned and shit!

[ Someone's been reading some psychology books in the library, you see. ]

I'm undoin' all my Christian learnin', okay? Like, shit, I spent most my life thinkin' all the Catholics were goin' to hell.

[ Jessica sighs in defeat, holding her forehead. ] I'm such a fuckin' freak.

[ jesse shakes his head. apologies are entirely unnecessary ] I get wantin to be out from under your daddy's thumb.

[ of course his case wasn't conditioning and simply a promise he wanted to finally be free from but ]

Switchin gears in your head's not easy but you're a vampire now so you got lots of time to unlearn whatever you wanna unlearn. Lot more time than most of us got. [ like all catholics going to hell, for instance ]

You're not a freak. [ probably not. he's still learning about her, after all ] Take it from a man who's had run-ins with his fair share of fucked up folks.

Guess we got that in common, runnin' into shitty people.

[ She shakes her head, waving a hand. ] Still, sorry 'bout the whole askin' stupid questions. I can't really control it sometimes. But, uh, I'm gonna stop pesterin' you so you can get settled in. It's gonna take a while gettin' used to the place.

[ With a shrug, she smiles a bit. ] It's gonna be a wild ride, promise you that.

Hell of a thing to have in common.

[ jesse shrugs and shakes his head again ] I don't mind. Probably gonna be askin a lot of questions myself while I'm here. Least I can do is answer a few if I can.

So if you ever got any more- [ feel free! ]

Sayin it'll take a while to get used to this place seems to be puttin it a little lightly.

[ he laughs a little at her promise ] From what I'm hearin, it'll certainly be somethin.

[ She shrugs a shoulder. ] Guess I'm a trouble magnet. I'm gettin' used to it.

And mister? You dunno half the shit you're gonna get into. [ She waves. ] I'll bug you some more when you've seen some of it.

[ With that, she ends her feed. ]

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