entranceway | Text, event day 2, also a little action

[Huh. Lapis thinks.]

is it adding more nonsense?

Yes. Constantly. I'm basically just watching it to see if it'll eventually produce something that makes sense, like when you'd put a monkey behind a typewriter.

and does it respond to you at all?

Hard to say. I'm assuming it is, since it'd be strange for nonsense to appear at random in it, but there isn't a response every time I say something.

whoever it is
they can't help that it's nonsense
i don't know how much control they might have
over writing it at all
you might need to help them find a loophole or something

[There has to be something, right??]

im guessing your instructions didn't help

Edited 2019-04-13 20:58 (UTC)

No.

[ She practically didn't even get instructions with it.. It's only since other people mentioned it here on the network that she knows some others did. ]

Maybe there weren't any since it's supposed to be straightforward, but in that case I must be incredibly dumb to not be able to figure it out easily.

you're not missing much, the instructions suck
i guess there are only so many things you can do with a book
but

[...]

it's a tool
intended for someone else to use it
so there has to be a way to do that
so maybe they're just lucky
that they didn't end up with someone incredibly dumb

[ Oh no. Maybe it was inevitable that this would go somewhere more awkward inevitably. Sure, all Lapis is doing is saying she's not incredibly dumb - which is a very low bar to clear, huh - but the slight compliment implied by it makes Ange pause for a moment before she types.

Maybe she should address this after all before she just broods about it forever. ]

Right.

Also, I wanted to say about last time.. It's fine if you don't [ PAUSE.. How to even word this. ]

If you don't care that I died. Or don't understand it because you're not human and maybe don't die like humans do? Or.. whatever it is. If I seemed disappointed at all back there, it's just that I'm still working on making sure I don't have any expectations from other people. [ Because it's so much easier to not care than to care and get hurt when you're let down. But no matter how much Ange pretends that she's turning her heart into steel, she'll always deep down just be a lonely girl who really doesn't want to be lonely. ]

[Well, dang. Lapis really wasn't prepared for this in the midst of everything being dredged up by her event. On the other hand, the event is also making her actually deal with things already, so in some weird way maybe this is a great time to pile more on. She doesn't have a lot of patience for her own bullshit right now, let alone anyone else's.

And that's clearly what this is, of course, because Ange up and making a big statement about how unaffected she is is transparent. Lapis had a lot else on her mind back then, much like now, but she recalls that she didn't like the way that particular detail went either. Apparently she didn't have it in her to fight it at the time, so whether it's a bad time or a good time, she's just going to have to manage now anyway.]

okay
NOW you sound dumb
of course that bothered you
it should have
and you wouldn't still be thinking about it if it didn't

What else are we supposed to do with the seas of time we have here other than think about things?

[ Because it's clearly not because she's still bothered. Obviously. It's not as if Lapis is seeing right through her to the truth or anything, and neither is it true that Ange spends every single moment carefully manufacturing a cool and unaffected image of herself to seem less vulnerable.

Clearly. ]

No one cared that I died back home either. Except for one person who didn't even realise who I was until I was already half dead. It'd be unfair of me to put expectations about it on anyone else then.

shut up

[That's horrible talk and Lapis doesn't like it, and she's not about to listen to it now of all times.]

maybe i don't understand it
maybe i'm just a bad person after all
i don't know what im supposed to feel or whatever
but
it's not that i don't care about you
i'm just really BAD at it
and i get it if thats not good enough
because i realize youre goingto hate this but
you actually do deserve better
so shove it

[ There's no reply for a good few minutes. Not because Ange is offended at Lapis' rather aggressive pushback, but more just since she's surprised by it. She's never really had that kind of pushback against the sort of stuff she just said before, let alone this kind. It leaves her entirely unable to know what to say for a few moments until she finally manages to reply. ]

I guess I can't refute it. You're right. Or well, partially right. I stopped thinking about stuff like "deserving" and whatever a long time ago, but I do.. want it. People caring. Even if it'd be kind of badly caring.

But it's scary to hope for that. Back in that mind world of yours, or whatever it was specifically, it felt like I was being called out for being an idiot in getting too carried away with the thought of "oh, I think I actually like talking to Lapis and would feel bad if something happened to her at this point, maybe she might even feel the same way." That's why I was upset. It was at myself rather than at you.

you COULD just get upset at me you know
but i guess that's an improvement

[Lapis also doesn't have it in her to actually start self-flagellating about it or anything. That's like the exact last thing she needs to start in on today; she has damn well earned her right to still be a bit of a jerk, anyway. There is a pause.]

maybe i don't understand maybe i can't
maybe you can't understand suffering for thousands of years
i still don't know
just
you're not dead HERE
and i'm actually really glad about that
okay

[ You have to do way worse than that for her to get upset, Lapis. Unfortunately Ange's standards are incredibly low. ]

That's actually what I wanted to hear. It's probably going to sound weird. Or.. less so to you, I guess, but the death part wasn't the worst. [ So specifically not caring about that one thing? Not as bad. ] It was just worried that you not caring about that meant you didn't care about me at all.

So this is enough. It makes me think that maybe still being alive isn't all that bad when there's some people who like talking to me sometimes. Who are alright with seeing me around. Maybe I'll get used to that feeling sometime.

And once I do, I guess I can get properly upset at you if you want it so badly. [ That last part is meant a little more lightly as a joke.. but it's already hard enough to tell with Ange's usual deadpan tone, let alone her text itself. ]

Edited 2019-04-22 21:04 (UTC)

i'll make sure to get more irrationally defensive when that happens
we could really have had a better go at this

[The sarcasm is something she likes about Ange. Honestly Lapis is more surprised at how forthright the rest of this has been. Stars, she's tired.]

no offense
but does that mean we can get back to the thing where people are trapped in helpless misery, unable to even scream right now?

Yeah, sure.

[ Since she got the heaviest part out of the way now, at the very least. That was enough emotional thoughts for now, she's used up her whole week's supply of them in one go there. Time to recharge - once she's finished the puzzle of figuring out how to get this object-person back to normal and out of the room. ]

You don't have any recommendations on how to get them out? I don't exactly want to do something reckless and break someone's neck by accident.

Edited 2019-04-24 17:20 (UTC)

[All right, back to this bullshit then. Lapis doesn't get any breaks from her angst today, but that's no fault of Ange's.]

from what i've seen most of them have a specific part you need to break off
or something along those lines
but they're pretty different
you could try to find someone who recognizes something maybe

but even if you don't figure it out
just
please don't forget that that's a person

I wasn't planning on forgetting. [ She almost adds something about possessing more empathy than that, but that might be kind of raw after the specific discussion they had just now, so she settles on not sending that part. Trying real hard to be tactful is difficult when you lost all sense of it years ago. ]

I'll try figuring it out somehow.

all right
if you have more questions you know where to find me

i mean not that i can actually help that much clearly
i don't know how wonderland wants this to work
but i guess i'm what we have

It's alright, it sounds like this is mostly just something we have to figure out for ourselves.

[ Since Lapis doesn't have all the answers either. And if she doesn't, then Ange would rather not harass her over an issue that clearly seems painful. ]

I hope for your sake that no one asks something particularly stupid.

[For a moment, Lapis almost wants to call attention to that. Aren't you curious, she might ask, or something along those lines with more layers of snark. She doesn't especially want to talk about it, and indeed appreciates the respecting of her privacy, nor would she really expect less from Ange, but she could couch it in sarcasm and they'd fence around it. But she doesn't know why she even has that impulse, since she doesn't want to talk about it; and either way, somehow, she definitely can't do that after the conversation they just had. That would also probably be bullshit. Lapis will just have to live with being treated considerately.]

i'll live

Text, event day 2, also a little action

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