[action or video or text or whatever forever] Happy Holidays to You!

[hamburellakind]

[At some point on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, you might hear some rustling outside your door. If you get out fast enough you might spot a long blue hood whipping around the nearest corner, accompanied by some boyish giggling. Sitting on your doorstep, you'll find a messily wrapped present or two, accompanied by a card that says:

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM JOHN AND DAVE!

And here are their presents for everybody in the mansion:

Santana: The fuzziest snuggie ever (in the Cheerios color scheme) and a Care Bear vibrator
Kurt: A costume
Beiste: A mirror with a sticky note on it that says “it reflects the most perfect individual to have graced its surface” in Dave’s trademark color, and a very flattering ball gown for those just in case situations
Karkat: A stress ball that’s blue in color (John may or may not have drawn spades all over it) and these because John thought it was hilarious
Sollux: A toy
Ammy: Fresh cherry cakes
Lee: A helmet
Quincy: A pillow
Cooper: Condoms and something the boys are sure actors need
Blaine: Smuppets that may or may not contain a vibrate function and a hidden flesh light
Pinkie: Bubblewrap. Tons of it. In various colors.
Yousuke: Red Skull Candy headphones and a rainbow scarf
Souji: Trumpet sheet music to “Poker Face” and a rainbow scarf
Kyle: Wax bottle candy
Stan: A bunch of Hostess cupcakes
Clyde: Turkey. Just. An entire butterball frozen turkey.
Alan: THANK YOU for helping keep John alive (and it is not your fault he died, ok? Ok.)
Everyone else: Christmas cookies shaped like their symbols


And their gifts for each other:

John to Dave:
Just for Dave
To remind him of Jade and allow him to take awesome pictures
To remind him of Rose and allow him to beat up fuzzy monsters
To remind him of his bro and keep him rapping even if it is terrible and white

Dave to John:
Magic trick set
Squeaky hammer
This.

Comments

[text forever] to Dave

[hamburellakind]

DAVID LEE STRIDER.
you march your butt over here and explain your presents.
i am so confused.
what is this thing even
a flashlight?
and a squeaky hammer REALLY?
really.
i scratched the beat mesa dude.
i don't fuck around with those hammers all.
squeakily.









i like the magic tricks though.
ty.

[urnewkingbitch]

david whos this david
theres no stupid lame loser named david in this mansion
nope
especially not with the last name of strider
there is only dave no david
also poor word choice on fucking around with squeaky hammers

[hamburellakind]

wow that's not even sexual at all.
perrrvvvv.
anyway yeah you should come over here.
hinthint.

[Action forever]

[urnewkingbitch]

it really kind of is
youll understand when i get over there to explain myself
btw cute
real cute with the presents you got for me

[And now Dave is waltzing on into John's room like he owns the place.]

[text to John (because his name was first on the card)]

[freetobe]

i believe you have lost something in front of my door. it seems to be a parcel, the smell indicating it contains food.

[Color the angel very confused.]

[hamburellakind]

they're cookies for you!
merry christmas!

[freetobe]

I do not require food.

[Eating for pleasure, what is that? Certainly not something the angel knows about.]

Still. My gratitude, I suppose.

[hamburellakind]

er, you don't eat?

[video]

[justlove]

Um, thanks for the present. I'm not sure what I'll do with them yet, but... thanks?

[And yes, he has discovered the vibrate function and the flesh light.]

[hamburellakind]

it was dave's idea.
sorry.

[urnewkingbitch]

im not sorry
think of them as practice

[hamburellakind]

dave!!!

[justlove]

I was thinking of them as something else, actually, but I'll try to remember that.

[He's seriously considering throwing them in a drawer and never taking them it out again. And he's definitely not telling Kurt.]

[ text ]

[surgicalprodigy]

[ Did you mean it's definitely his fault and he still feels bad about it?? ]

uh..you really don't need to thank me.

[hamburellakind]

uh yes i did.
you could've run away screaming and you didn't!
that means a lot, dude.
i am not used to dying like that.
so merry christmas, you get a clean conscience!

[surgicalprodigy]

Well thanks for forgiving me.

Next time, I'll be SURE there aren't any zombies!

video;

[masukukunai]

Hey kid, thanks for the 'phones! These'll make a great backup pair...

[He holds up the scarf though, looking a bit confused. Rainbow = gay isn't really a thing where he comes from.]

This is kinda... colorful, though. Is it supposed to be for something?

[hamburellakind]

it was dave's idea!

[masukukunai]

Dave? Oh, then it has to be a joke, or ironic, or something.

[video]

[outsidethechimney]

[The problem with stealing presents meant for your real - at least, if your real is Pinkie Pie - is that they make no sense. After checking her curls are in place, she switches on the feed and her best smile.]

Thank you for the - uh, the - the this!

[She holds up the bubble wrap.]

[video]

[urnewkingbitch]

It's called bubble wrap, AKA the funnest thing ever created. Usually you use 'em in packing shit, but everyone knows the real point is to pop those fucking bubbles.

[video]

[outsidethechimney]

I see!

[She lays it down and taps it experimentally with her hooves. The pops are pretty satisfying. Her real would adore it.]

Omigosh it's soooo coooooool! Thank you! Is this a Christmas thing? I didn't know about it so I haven't got anyperson anything yet.

[itsahotone]

What the hell.

[is her reaction, period.]

[hamburellakind]

dave's idea.

[itsahotone]

Both ridiculous things or just the Buzz Bear?